Little Things Matter - Martin Wiles

If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. Luke 16:10 NLT

His absence almost caused a catastrophe in the coffee café room.

I never paid much attention to what Bill did—until he was absent one Sunday. Noticing that he wasn’t there at his usual time, I plugged the coffee machines in, thinking he was running behind. When it became evident he wasn’t coming, another gentleman and I hurriedly prepared the coffee, only to have the first pot turn out cold, weak, and full of grounds. That night, after the evening services, I made my rounds to lock the buildings. When I came to the coffee room, I noticed both pots were still on—one hosting a carafe with baked coffee.

Those who visit our coffee café probably take what Bill does for granted, as I did. His absence reminded us how critical little things are. Jesus thought so too and taught that a person’s faithfulness in doing small things would lead to greater responsibilities.

We typically measure greatness by our titles, how much we’ve accomplished, or how many people we manage. Not so in Jesus’ economy. He’s more concerned about our attitudes and motives—the whys behind our actions. If done for the wrong reasons or with ulterior motives, the doing doesn’t count, at least not in his eyes.

By our definition of greatness, quantity is important. Jesus, however, considers quality. Whatever he gives us to do, he wants us to do it well—even if it’s no more than making the morning coffee at church. Doing the little things also fosters humility—a trait highly praised by God.

A lot of people doing a multitude of little things is what makes God’s Kingdom advance. We may hear more about the larger churches or the more influential movers and shakers, but the no-names who work faithfully at their respective churches and in their communities make large impacts for Christ.

Be faithful in whatever God gives you to do—even if it appears to be a small task.

Father, thank you for your faithfulness to me. May I be just as faithful to you. 

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Making Love Last - Martin Wiles

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4 NLT

He was the picture of faithfulness, but he carried a fake ID and hid a dark secret.

Frank was a dedicated church member and faithful husband—or so it appeared. He and his wife had moved back to their hometown after his retirement from the military. They immediately joined their old church and went to work. Frank held several positions, among them chairman of deacons.

Several years after their return, Frank’s dark secret came out after it was discovered that he and the preacher’s wife were having an affair. This wasn’t his first. Unfaithfulness had happened before with another friend’s wife, which was why they had chosen to re-locate. As with the prior incident, Frank’s wife decided to remain with him. Once again, they would change locations and start over. Perhaps, this time it would be different.

According to statistics, many don’t take the high view of marriage God does. Certainly, there are occasions when God gives permission for the marriage to dissolve. He allows it for adultery—although he doesn’t command it—and he certainly doesn’t expect a partner to risk their lives or their children’s lives by staying in an abusive situation.

If we’re going to make love last, we must define marriage as God does. Ideally, it is for a lifetime: “until death do you part.” Unfaithfulness and abuse may rob one partner of that pleasure, but it should at least be the intent when taking marriage vows.

Faithfulness is a must for love to last. God's making unfaithfulness an allowance for divorce shows how seriously he considers faithfulness. He considers faithfulness not only to the other spouse but also to everything necessary to keep a marriage strong: faithfulness to serving God together, faithfulness to equality in the marriage, and faithfulness to helping each other with family chores.

Remaining faithful in marriage also means preparing for temptation. Temptations to unfaithfulness abound. Satan loves nothing better than to destroy homes. He knows the lifelong havoc this can inflict. Unfaithfulness is the big home wrecker. Time in the Word, in prayer, and with our spouses will help keep temptation away so we can remain faithful.

Work diligently to make love last in your marriage.

Father, turn my eyes toward You for wisdom to make my marriage strong. 

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Meandering Monday - Keeping the Commitment - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Meandering Monday, where we take a trip back to an earlier post and enjoy it again.

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4 NLT

“If it wouldn’t ruin his ministry, I’d leave him.”

But she never did. In fact, she stayed with him for over fifty years until he took his final breath. I watched my mom endure moving from place to place, continually having to put her sons in different schools, repeatedly having to change employment, adapting to new surroundings and churches, and putting up with everything that goes along with being a preacher’s wife. She wasn’t the only one in my family I saw exhibit marital commitment though. My paternal grandparents were married sixty plus years and were even placed in the same nursing home in the end. My grandmother held my grandfather’s hand as he took his final breath. My maternal grandparents hung in there together until the end as well. My grandmother waited on my grandfather hand and foot after strokes continued to take away his abilities. 

Unfortunately, faithlessness—rather than love and stick-to-it-iveness—seems to be the norm. Living together before marriage is common and socially accepted by most. Many think this is a viable option to determine if they are suited for one another. Quickie divorces are also common. If we can’t work out our disagreements with little fanfare, it’s over. Must have married the wrong person. Didn’t bargain for this. 

Marriage is an honorable estate and not to be entered into lightly. God performed the first one in the Garden of Eden thousands of years ago, and he designed it to be an example. I certainly don’t have a perfect marriage, but I intend to stick by my spouse until she or I breathe our last—regardless of what comes before that time. I’m faithful to her, and I expect the same in return. I don’t plan to be one of those persons whom God will have to reprimand for walking away. God gave me a wonderful treasure, and I plan to treasure her.

Does your view of marriage align with God’s?

Prayer: Father, guide us to faithfulness in our marital relationships, knowing they are pictures of Your relationship to us, the church. 

Tweetable: Are you keeping your marriage commitment? 

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Meandering Monday - God Can’t Lie - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Meandering Monday, where we take a trip back to an earlier post and enjoy it again.

These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence. Hebrews 6:18 NLT

He spread the cell phone bill before her on the table.

Earlier, he had perused the calls. He had his suspicions, and as he looked over the calls, his misgivings were confirmed. Now came the unpleasant duty of confronting her. On one day, an out-of-town location appeared. He remembered the day. She had left early, telling him and the kids she was going to work. They believed her, even though they had reason to doubt her. Sure enough, she had lied once again. It had become her pattern. When questioned, she said, “I was at work.” He produced the bill. She held her course. Only after an hour of lawyer-type interrogation did she finally admit what he and the children already knew. 

God won’t do what the unfaithful wife did. He made a promise to Abraham and sealed it with an oath. He would bless and prosper him and give him many descendants. Since God can’t lie, the promise was as sure as the sun rising the next morning. Abraham lived to see a portion of the promise fulfilled, and I’m witnessing another portion of it presently.

God’s promises can be trusted because they are unchanging and trustworthy. They must be because they reflect his nature. He doesn’t change—although it may appear he does—and he never goes back on his word. What he says, he will do.

God promises forgiveness and salvation to all who ask. Since he’s allowed his Son to pay for humanity’s sins, all that remains is for us to reach out for it. When we ask, our sins are removed as far as the east is from the west. They’re cast into the bottom of the sea…into God’s forgetfulness. He promises abundant life in the present—a quality of life we could never experience otherwise. And even better is the promise of eternal life in heaven. A place that is indescribably beautiful and fulfilling. A place where ultimate healing in all areas of life will be experienced.

Have you taken God at his word?

Prayer: Thank You, Father, that we can depend on Your promises. 

Tweetable: Are you a truth-teller? 

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Meandering Monday - Running from Problems - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Meandering Monday, where we take a trip back to an earlier post and enjoy it again.

Elijah was afraid and fled for his life…There he came to a cave, where he spent the night. I Kings 19:3, 9 NLT

Jack was a runner…but not for exercise.

Jack ran from problems—or more accurately addictions. Nor were his addictions chemical. They were sexual. Though he was a happily married man, he had a habit of having affairs. His first was during his military career and with his best friend’s wife. His wife forgave him, but they changed locations by moving across the country. Moving didn’t solve his dilemma. Before long, he had suckered another innocent married woman into his deceptive web. When his wife discovered this affair, they moved back across the country.

Elijah was also a runner. When the wicked queen placed a death threat on his head for killing some of her pagan prophets, he ran for his life. His final destination was a cave. Here, God brought him face to face with his problems: unfounded fear and lack of trust.

Running from problems never leaves them behind; it just puts us in a different location. A better option is examining and admitting why I’m in the predicament. Like Elijah, I have to answer the question, “Why are you here?” Is it fear, lack of trust, a rebellious spirit, or unconfessed and willful sin?

Until I admit my problem, I’ll remain in the cave. Rather than running from my problems, I should run to them by facing them and securing the help I need. The help may come in the form of confession, a Christian counselor, or an accountability partner.

Instead of facing his problem, Elijah threw a pity party. He thought he was the only one left following God when there were actually thousands more. Wallowing in self-pity or seeking sympathy from others won’t cure our problems. God gave Elijah a few tasks to complete that would take his eyes off himself and focus them on others. In the end, his running ceased when he began depending on God for success.

Are you running from your problems or running to God for help?

Prayer: Eternal and all-powerful God, remind us You are larger than any problem we may face. 

Tweetable: Are you running from your problems? 

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An Undivided Heart - Martin Wiles

Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. Psalm 86:11 NIV

Division can be good … or bad. Helpful … or unhelpful.

Division was one of those math concepts I enjoyed, along with addition, subtraction, and multiplication. I even enjoyed pre-algebra, but after that, I lost interest. As a teacher calculating grades, I still use division. Even the school’s grading program automatically uses division. When I enter grades for a particular assignment, the system totals the grades and then divides them by the number of students to calculate the class average for the assignment.

Sometimes, I don’t enjoy division. Such as when my wife divides a pie or cake she has cooked—and I only get one of those pieces. Division helps us to know how many slices to cut, depending on the number of people who will eat it. The more people, the smaller my piece. On the other hand, the smaller my piece, the fewer calories I’ll consume. That part of division works in my favor.

Division can be helpful. My wife and I have a favorite restaurant in town that we often frequent. They serve a large hamburger which my wife and I share by dividing. This saves us money, helps us consume fewer calories, and helps us get the large burger in our mouths.

David prayed for an undivided heart so that he would fear God’s name. He wanted to reverence Him more each day. He knew this wouldn’t happen unless his heart was undivided. David desired to focus on loving and serving his God.

What David prayed for Jesus later reiterated, but in the opposite way. Jesus said people could not serve two masters. They would either hate the one and love the other or serve the one and ignore the others. David prayed for an undivided heart, and Jesus said we couldn’t have a divided heart—although we might try.

Division is bad when I try to serve God and other things or other people. The things and relationships might not be bad or even sinful, but if I put them before God—and if they interfere with my sole allegiance to Him—then I have divided my heart. 

Division is bad when I keep God’s love to myself instead of sharing it around.

Division is good when God’s people take the spiritual gifts and talents He gives and divide them among the world, so the world hears about God’s love, comes to know Him, and in turn, disseminates His love across the world.

When we pray for an undivided heart, we experience life as God intended. In the beginning, He walked daily in the garden with Adam and Eve. He wants that same type of relationship with us.

Follow David’s example. Pray for an undivided heart.

Prayer: Father, give us an undivided heart—one that moves us to love and serve You.

Tweetable: Is your heart divided? 

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When No One Can Help - Martin Wiles

This man lived in the burial caves and could no longer be restrained, even with a chain. Mark 5:3 NLT

The dark cloud hovered low, refusing to budge.

With one short announcement—“I don’t love you anymore”—John’s world crashed. A twenty-year relationship dissolved before his eyes, and he was powerless to change it. Not long after his wife left him and his two children, his daughter graduated high school and left for college. Two years later, his son decided he wanted to live with his mom. John found himself all alone in the world.

John survived by going to work and picking up an old addiction. His doctor prescribed pills for depression. Close friends and family members tried to help him, but he couldn’t see his way out from under the dark cloud. Some of his “so-called” friends abandoned him. Never called. Never texted. Perhaps they thought John’s problems would soil their reputation. Maybe they just didn’t have time to listen.

Although some tried to help John through his life tragedy, none could. John found himself in the same predicament as Legion did. Jesus encountered this demon-possessed man in the region of the Gerasenes. He lived among the tombs. People had tried to help him by restraining him, but nothing worked. The demons inside of him snapped the chains as if they didn’t exist. He lived among the tombs and self-inflicted harm on himself.

No one could help Legion … but Jesus. And He did. He sent the demons into a herd of pigs, and then told Legion to go home and tell his family what God had done for him.

Life can deliver some horrendous blows, as John and Legion discovered. Others can offer limited help … if they will … but only God can completely solve our dilemmas. God always cares about what we’re going through. After all, He either brought the situation or filtered it through His hands.

When we experience our dark moments, God lingers nearby through the presence of His Spirit. He knows what we need, when we need it, and in what form. Just as Jesus had the power to deliver Legion from his sad state, so God has the power to deliver us. He walks with us through our dark valleys and storms, and, at just the right moment, will deliver us.

When no one else can help you, remember God always can … and waits for you to ask Him to.

Prayer: Father, when no one else can help us, remind us You can … and want to.

Tweetable: Where do you turn when no one can help?

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Cheating on God - Martin Wiles

You’re cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. James 4:4 MSG

Adultery. Betrayal. 

By one spouse on the other. Perhaps more than once. Perhaps a habit. Maybe not because of love. More than likely because of lust. A fall into temptation. A slip from which there is a return road, but one not often taken. Then death. Death of a relationship. Death of trust. Death of love. “I’m sorry” sometimes doesn’t work. The confession doesn’t restore trust. Confusion reigns. Decisions present themselves. Life forever changes. What has happened can’t be undone.

According to experts at Divorce Magazine, 45-50 percent of married women and 50-60 percent of married men cheat on their spouses. The American Psychological Association says unfaithfulness in the United States accounts for 20-40 percent of divorces. They also report that forty-two percent of divorced individuals confess to more than one affair.

But infidelity doesn’t have to lead to divorce. Experts at Divorce Magazine report that about 70 percent of couples who have experienced infidelity actually stay married after the affair comes out into the open. Still, adultery is the most cited reason for divorce.

In the Old Testament, God compared His relationship with His people as a marriage—and He often accused them of cheating on Him. Which they did by worshipping other gods and by turning their focus to other things rather than Him. Although He didn’t divorce them for their unfaithfulness, the consequences for their unfaithfulness were often severe.

God wants, and deserves, my worship. And not just on Sundays or whatever day I choose to gather with other believers. Worship is an all-day, everyday experience wherein I live with a God-consciousness and try my best to honor Him through my attitudes, actions, and words. I do good to others with the intention that God receives the glory for my good works and that people are pointed to Him when they observe my deeds.

When other things or people steal this worship—or when we give it to something or someone else voluntarily—we cheat on God. And unfaithfulness doesn’t make Him happy. He is jealous for our attention because He knows the awful things that can happen when we make other things or relationships that squeeze Him out a priority.

Take time each day to refocus your worship on God. He deserves your faithfulness. Then, let everything else you enjoy about life come beneath your marriage to Him.

Prayer: Father, may our attention be turned only toward You.

Tweetable: Are you cheating on God? 

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Promise Keeper - Martin Wiles

And Jonathan made David reaffirm his vow of friendship again, for Jonathan loved David as he loved himself. 1 Samuel 20:17 NLT

He made a promise to his best friend, but now his friend lay dead on a mountaintop.

Davey and Johnny were best buds and had been since they were young. Davey’s family farmed while Johnny’s came from the upper class. In spite of their cultural differences, Davey and Johnny managed to maintain their friendship.

Johnny’s dad, however, was leery of Davey. Though Davey came from the lower class, he saw potential in him—potential that might carry him far in life. So he gave him a job at his company—but with ulterior motives. He thought Davey’s sharp mind might help his company move forward.

As Johnny’s dad aged, he made arrangements for Johnny to take over the company after his retirement or death. Johnny had no interest in the company and secretly wanted Davey to run the business. He even made Davey promise to care for his family if something happened to him. (He seemed to have eerie premonitions.)

Johnny’s premonition materialized. He and his father were tragically killed while on the way to negotiate with a firm that was their staunchest competitor. Davey kept his promise, though, ran the business, and even cared for Johnny’s disabled son. He could have forgotten his promise and pursued his own interest in life, but he chose to honor his friend by keeping his word.

Being as good as my word is a high goal to reach for—but a worthy one. A person’s word was once enough…with perhaps a handshake to follow. Not anymore. Even though we live in an age of paperwork that protects me and the one I’m making a promise to, my word should be just as good as if there were no paperwork. My promises should not be made lightly.

Breaking a promise should never enter my mind. Only under extenuating circumstances and unusual conditions should I renege on my word. Carrying out my word is important even if inconveniences me. Taking care of Johnny’s disabled son certainly did Davey.

Perhaps more than anything else, keeping my promises provides an example of my faithfulness to God. When I’m serious about keeping my promises to God—as He is about keeping His to me, I’ll find it easier to keep my word to others.

When you give your word, keep your word.

Prayer: Father, help us understand how important it is to keep our word to others. 

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Hot- and Cold-Running Christians - Martin Wiles

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58 ESV

The sign read: House for Rent. Hot and Cold Running Water.

Though laughable now, there was a time when having indoor plumbing was a luxury only the wealthy knew anything about. Water was drawn from a well or creek and carried indoors. Getting hot water meant cutting wood and placing cold water in pots in the fireplace or on a wood burning stove.

On a recent mid-August trip through the Great Smokey Mountain National Park, my wife and I noticed the tree leaves in the highest elevations turning. Odd I thought, this early, but then again that’s what tree leaves do. As the summer season draws to a close and the daylight hours get shorter, the leaves lose their luminescence and reveal their natural color. The yellows were shining through beautifully. 

Christians shouldn’t run hot and cold or change annually like tree leaves. Paul encouraged the early believers to be steadfast in their love for the Lord as well as in their work for Him. Only by steadfastness would they be able to fulfill Jesus’ Great Commission to take the gospel to the ends of the earth.

We hear a lot about pastors burning out and leaving the pulpit, but I’ve known quite a few regular Christians who burned out too. Burnout can come from trying too hard to alleviate feelings of guilt over past sins, from wrong motives for serving, or from trying to boost one’s self-esteem.

Another entire set tend to drop out rather than burn out. Among 18 to 22-year-olds, around 70% drop out of church after graduating high school. Reasons they give for doing so include life changes, needing a break, moving away to college, work interference, judgmental or unfriendly pastors or church members, a change in their views, or an acknowledgement that previously they were only trying to please someone by attending.

God’s work requires steadfast determination. The abundant life Jesus offers requires the same. Otherwise we’ll change like the leaves or run hot and cold like water. The power to remain steadfast doesn’t lie in us, but in God’s Spirit indwelling us. He provides the want to that keeps us keeping on—and for the right reasons.

Don’t run hot and cold or turn like the leaves. Serve God with consistence and diligence.

Prayer: Father, enable us to check our motives for serving You, and then give us staying power to serve You faithfully until the end. 

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Building Blocks of Healthy Relationships - Martin Wiles

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 NLT

“I remember when you used to…”

Anytime I hear my wife say the above, I know it will be followed with something I once did but don’t do anymore. Things like opening the door for her when she’s getting in the car or entering a store. Or coming up behind her and putting my arms around her neck while we’re shopping.

My wife has a memory like an elephant and recalls many things I’ve long forgotten. Among them, how our relationship was when we first married. I tell her our relationship has matured. She thinks, Now that you’ve got me, you think you don’t need to do those things anymore. We’re probably both right to a degree, but healthy relationships must be maintained.

Paul gives a list of instructions for husbands and wives. Some women don’t like the submission part while some husbands take issue with loving their wives enough to die for them. But Paul prefaces the instructions with a command for mutual submission. Doing this requires building blocks.

Mutual love and submission entail intentionality. If I’m not intentional or determined to love my wife as Christ loved the church or to submit to her as I desire her to submit to me, it won’t happen. Anything important requires my undivided attention.

Thoughtful words and actions are important. My wife loves to hear me tell her I love her, but she wants to see the love in action. Holding her hand, opening a car door, giving her a card, kissing her first thing in the morning. Little things that mean a lot.

Honesty is also critical. Dishonesty will wreck any marriage or relationship. I know. I’ve been on the receiving end of dishonesty, and it leads to a dead end. Trust is built in small ways over the course of many years. One wrong move can destroy what it took years to build.

Faithfulness is a must for healthy relationships. It follows on the heels of honesty. In the marriage ceremony, I promised faithfulness to my one wife until death parts us. No good reason exists to break that promise as long as I’m in the relationship.

More important than any other block is including God. Relationships that exclude Him are headed for failure from the start.

Use the correct building blocks to erect healthy relationships in your life.

Prayer: Father, give us wisdom to build healthy relationships with those You send into our lives. 

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