Series: Oh, the Things We Say: I Know How You Feel - Martin Wiles

Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. John 11:21 NLT

Tragedy had struck. What could I say? I was tempted to resort to “I know how you feel.” But then, I thought better.

I’ve watched people endure their share of tragedies. A husband whose wife decided to drive while drunk. Her actions led to the death of their small child. A father whose daughter was innocently riding her bike through their subdivision and was hit and killed. Good friends whose daughter tried to ride a bicycle that was too large and accidentally rolled into the path of an oncoming truck. A couple whose child was born prematurely and languished in the neonatal intensive care unit for months and then grew up mentally challenged.

I’ve probably been guilty of saying it, but even if I haven’t, I’ve heard many others say those infamous words: “I know how you feel,” or “I know what you’re going through.” Innocent words spoken with good intentions, but words that mean little if anything to the one who is grieving—and perhaps questioning God at the same time.

Mary and Martha were probably feeling a little confused themselves. Their brother, Lazarus, was sick. So they sent for Jesus, thinking he would heal him. Instead of coming immediately, Jesus waited until Lazarus had died. Martha was confused.

Even if we’ve experienced something similar to what a person is going through, saying “I know how you feel” isn’t the best response to their grief. We don’t know how they feel. We know how we felt, but we can’t get inside their body and experience their emotions. The statement usually falls on deaf ears. They may also perceive the words as an empty platitude that means nothing.

When a person is grieving, spending time with them and saying little is a good practice. If we feel the need to speak, saying, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through” or “How can I help?” are better statements. Better yet is thinking of some way to help without asking the person. In their state of mind, they usually can’t think of what they need anyway. If we have experienced something similar to their tragedy, we can always share our story and tell how God brought us through.

Depend on God to give you the right thing to say when you’re helping a grieving person.

Father, as you comfort me in my time of grief, so give me wisdom to know how to help others in their times of grief.

I invite you to try my book A Whisper in the Woods: Quiet Escapes in a Noisy World. No one escapes life's hurts, but quiet places help us regain our perspective. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

When Life Changes in a Second - Martin Wiles

Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt. Exodus 3:10 NLT

He was there … and then he wasn’t.

My son and daughter-in-law threw a birthday for our youngest grandson and his step-brother. The same kind they’d thrown for the past two years. The same kind we hadn’t attended. A pool party.

This year differed. Our son had just ended a one-year silence with us. We had made amends and wanted to keep it that way. So we went. I watched the children carefully—as if I could have done anything had one of them fallen in.

Supper came in the form of pizza. People finished at different times while kids continued running around the pool. Several returned to the pool, including my son who held my youngest grandson.

My middle grandson thought he didn’t need holding. It took him only a second to step off the step he sat upon. My daughter and I saw him at the same time. He bobbled, gasping for air. She hollered, “Get Colton,” and my son grabbed him. He coughed a few times, but, fortunately, was okay.

Not all situations turn out so well. Children, and adults, drown every year. Natural disaster destroys property and lives. Criminal acts steal lives and possessions. Financial meltdowns melt down families and friends. Partners steal. Diseases alter the course of our lives. Life can change … in a second.

It did with Moses. Abandoned by his mother because of a cruel king’s edict, Moses was placed in a basket and set upon the Nile River. Pharaoh’s daughter discovered the little baby, adopted him, and raised him in the splendor of Egypt. Everything went well for Moses, until, as an adult, he saw an Egyptian beating one of his kin people—who. by the way, were slaves in Egypt. Moses became angry and killed the Egyptian. Pharaoh swore he’d kill him, and Moses ran for his life to the backside of a desert where he married and became a shepherd. Until his life changed when God called him to lead God’s people out of slavery.

Regardless of how or when life changes, God never does. He continues to love and protect us—from or through the pain and change. He led Moses, he led my son, and he’ll lead everyone who asks. His presence comforts, and His wisdom guides. He can do what no one else can.

When your life changes, trust the One who never does.

Prayer: Father, we trust You to guide us through the changes of life.

Tweetable: How do you handle life's changes?

Thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Help us spread God's encouragement through His Love Lines.

Flashback Friday - When God Sends Tragedy - Martin Wiles

When God Sends Tragedy

Franklin Roosevelt said of December 7, 1941, that it was “a date which will live in infamy.” 

September 11, 2001, is also a day that will forever be etched in the annals of American history. On this day, 19 al-Qaeda militants hijacked four airliners and instigated terrorist attacks on American soil. Two planes plowed into the World Trade Center’s twin towers, one dove into the Pentagon, and a fourth plunged into a Pennsylvania field. Over 3,000 people died.

America changed in radical ways following these attacks, but positive images emerged also. Americans re-discovered their sense of unity and for a brief moment returned to their Creator for comfort and help. Read more...

Tweetable: When tragedies come, where is God? 

Looking for a wide selection of genres in inspirational books at discount prices? Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

Throwback Tuesday - When Tragedy Strikes - Martin Wiles

When Tragedy Strikes

A family loses their beloved patriarch; two weeks later the matriarch follows. A woman in her thirties dies suddenly of a massive heart attack. Innocent people are killed at a well-known marathon. A father incurs a deadly infection after surgery and never leaves the hospital.

I always seem to have more questions than answers when tragic occurrences crop up. Death is a daily part of someone’s life and so is tragedy. But how to cope with the unanswered questions is the dilemma. Read more...

Looking for a wide selection of genres in inspirational books at discount prices? Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

I Know How You Feel - Martin Wiles

Series: The Things We Say

Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. John 11:21 NLT

Tragedy had struck. What could I say?

As a minister, I’ve watched people endure their share of tragedies. A husband whose wife decided to drive drunk. Her actions led to the death of their small child. A father whose daughter was innocently riding her bike through their subdivision and was hit and killed. Good friends whose daughter tried to ride a bicycle that was too large and accidentally rolled into the path of an oncoming truck. A couple whose child was born prematurely and languished in the neonatal intensive care unit for months and then grew up mentally challenged. 

I’ve probably been guilty of saying it, but even if I haven’t, I’ve heard many others say those infamous words: “I know how you feel,” or “I know what you’re going through.” Innocent words spoken with good intentions, but words that mean little if anything to the one who is grieving—and perhaps questioning God at the same time. 

Mary and Martha were probably feeling a little confusion themselves. Their brother, Lazarus, was sick. So they sent for Jesus, thinking He would heal him. Instead of coming immediately, Jesus waited until Lazarus had died. Martha was confused. 

Even if I’ve experienced something similar to what a person is going through, saying “I know how you feel” isn’t the best response to their grief. 

I don’t know how they feel. I know how I felt, but I can’t get inside of their body and experience their emotions. The statement usually falls on deaf ears. They may also perceive the words as an empty platitude that means nothing.

When a person is grieving, spending time with them and saying little is a good practice. 

If I feel the need to speak, saying, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” or “How can I help” are helpful statements. Better yet is thinking of some way to help without asking the person. In their state of mind, they usually can’t think of what they need anyway. If I have experienced something similar to their tragedy, I can always tell my story and share how God brought me through.

Depend on God to give you the right thing to say when you’re helping a grieving person.

Prayer: Father, as You comfort us in our times of grief, so give us the wisdom to know how to help others in their times of grief. 

Looking for a wide selection of genres in Christian books at discount prices? Use coupon MWiles for 20% off. Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

Life’s Unexpected Turns - Martin Wiles

How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. James 4:14 NLT

When they got out of bed that morning, none knew their lives would end that day. 

The Pentagon Memorial commemorates the 184 people who were killed on American Airlines Flight 77 and inside the Pentagon on September 11, 2001. Small illuminated concrete benches—representing each of the victims, are arranged so that reading a Pentagon victim’s name requires facing the Pentagon while reading a plane victim’s name requires facing the direction the plane was traveling. 

Regardless of their ages or life circumstances, none of the victims expected terrorists to board their plane and direct it into the side of the Pentagon. Nor did those working in the Pentagon expect a plane to enter their building. 

Morning fogs generally only hang around until the sun burns them away. My wife and I once flew out of August, Georgia, on our way to see friends in Denver, Colorado. Our flight was delayed because of a thick layer of fog blanketing the area. Though it seemed as if we waited forever, we were only delayed one hour. 

Life is like a fog. It doesn’t hang around long. Even if I’m one of the fortunate ones who lives into my nineties, my life is comparatively brief. What I need to do, I need to do now. The most important thing is to trust Christ as my Savior. But there are other things I don’t need to put off. Deciding to trust Christ will assure me of heaven, but I may be on earth for quite some time, so there are other decisions that affect my future here. 

When Jesus said He came to give abundant life, He wasn’t talking about life in heaven but rather life lived on earth. Obeying God’s commands and making serving Christ the centerpiece of my life will usher in a type of existence that everyone is searching for—but usually in the wrong places. 

Spending time on endeavors that will outlast my life just makes sense. I can leave behind articles and devotions on the web. I can leave behind spiritual journals. I can teach honorable trades or a Sunday school class. I can also leave an example that will affect my children, grandchildren, and others. But I only have a brief time to do it. Soon my life will lift like the fog.

Decide to do something that will outlive your brief life.

Prayer: Father, help us live each day with purpose so that when our short lives are over we can die satisfied that we served You and others well. 

Looking for a wide selection of genres in Christian books at discount prices? Use coupon MWiles for 20% off. Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

Safe in the Shelter - Martin Wiles

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1 NLT

The shelter was only a few hundred feet away, but at the moment it may as well have been a mile. 

I had grown accustomed to storms while hiking in the mountains. Which is why I started early in the morning so we could finish before late afternoon when storms were known to arrive. 

On this particular day, my brother, daughter, and I were on the Appalachian Trail in northern Georgia. Our plans were to arrive at our destination around noon, set up camp, and continue hiking for a few more miles. 

We reached our destination on time, but as soon as we unloaded, thunder began to roll across the mountains. We quickly set up our tents. No sooner had we driven the last stake than powerful pelting rain, sharp peels of lighting, and booming bangs of thunder slithered across the mountains. A trail shelter was only 300 hundred feet away, but we couldn’t reach it at the moment. 

During a brief lull in the lightning and thunder, we made a run for the shelter. Soaked to the skin, we huddled in the crude building for the next four hours, listening as one storm after another tumbled across the mountains. 

The psalmist had also discovered a shelter in the God he served—a shelter that provided rest and comfort. The mountain storms I’ve encountered were nothing compared to some of the life storms I’ve experienced. 

During these times, the shelter of God’s protection often seemed close but unreachable. But it only appeared that way. God always has a shelter for my troubled soul. The storm may continue to rage, but I’m protected from harm when I rest in God’s sheltering arms. 

Just as we had to make an effort to get to the shelter, I too must run to the shelter God provides. My effort demonstrates to God that I recognize my need and love for Him—that I’ve come to understand I can’t handle life on my own. 

Shelters of various styles dot the length of the Appalachian Trail. God is my ultimate shelter, but He manifests Himself in different ways. Sometimes He shelters me through the presence of others. 

God’s shelters are always close when the storms of life pummel. Run to Him often, and find the protection and peace He offers. 

Prayer: Father, may we remember that You are our ultimate shelter in the storms of life. 

Looking for a wide selection of genres in Christian books at discount prices? Use coupon MWiles for 20% off. Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

Enduring Life’s Thorns - Martin Wiles

But to keep me from getting puffed up, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from getting proud. 2 Corinthians 12:7 NLT

I hadn’t garnered enough backpacking experience, so my first long haul involved a serious mistake. 

Hiking and backpacking had become a love I pursued monthly. But I wanted more. My daughter would soon be out of school for Spring break. What better way to spend the week than hiking a remote section of the Foothills Trail which meanders along the South Carolina North Carolina border.

My mistake was wearing a new pair of boots. Halfway through our first day of hiking, a burning sensation grabbed at the side of my heel. We stopped at the first cool stream of water so I could investigate. The culprit was a large blister. I cleaned the area, applied antibiotic cream, covered it with a bandage, and moved on. This thorn on my foot required daily care for the remainder of the hike. 

Paul was a great apostle, but he had a thorn. Theologians conjecture what it was, but Paul leaves the answer as a mystery. What it was isn’t as important as how he responded to it. His actions are noteworthy when dealing with our own thorns. 

Paul identified his thorn—not to us, but to himself. I knew what mine was as well. Soldiers in battle must identify the enemy before they can fight him. 
Though it’s not recorded in Scripture, it’s feasible to imagine that Paul asked God why he had the thorn. 

Asking God a question and questioning God are different. The first is permissible; the second questionable. God may choose to reveal why—or He may keep it a secret. I knew why I had the blister. 

Paul asked God to remove the thorn. I would have loved for God to miraculously heal my blister, but I doubted that would happen until I took the boots off. God didn’t take Paul’s thorn away either. Paul’s thorn had a purpose; my blister did as well. 

When God refused to remove Paul’s thorn, Paul made peace with his thorn. I did with my blister. I doctored it daily because I knew the risk of infection. Paul was obviously tempted to have a prideful spirit—since he concluded God gave the thorn to keep him humble. God has a purpose when assigning thorns. 

If and when you get your thorn, rather than complaining, ask God what He’s attempting to teach you. 

Prayer: Father, though we don’t enjoy our thorns, we trust that You have a purpose in allowing them.

Looking for a wide selection of genres in Christian books at discount prices? Use coupon MWiles for 20% off. Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

When the Brook Dries Up - Martin Wiles

But after a while the brook dried up, for there was no rainfall anywhere in the land. 1 Kings 17:7 NLT

Life is rarely enjoyable when the brook dries up.

One of the brooks I regularly drink from is writing. God gave me this gift a number of years ago, and I attempt to use it faithfully in ways that honor him. But in spite of knowing He gave the gift, the brook runs dry more times than I wish. 

Rejections. They are never easy for writers. Somehow, our self-esteem gets tangled up in our writing. Rejection letters strike devastating blows. In reality, the article, devotion, or poem may be perfectly good, but the editor simply doesn’t have room for it. Yet, my self-esteem suffers. The brook dries up. 

Elijah had just delivered a dangerous message to the king: no rain would fall for an extended period of time. Then the Lord told him to hide by Kerith Brook. His water would come from the brook, and ravens would deliver food. Things went well…until the brook dried up. 

Dry brooks come in many forms: financial crashes, relationship upheavals, marriage unfaithfulness, physical limitations, injuries, unemployment, rebellion, addictions. 

When the brook dries up, it isn’t a sign God has left and isn’t working in my life. God is always working behind the scenes. Like set preparers for a play, I may not see God’s hand, but He’s there nonetheless. 

When the set is being changed during a play, I sit and wait for the changers to finish their job. With God, I believe by faith He is working. I keep doing what I was doing until I receive further instruction. Elijah remained by the dry brook until God told him to go to a nearby village. 

When the brook dries up, it may be that God is testing my faith or preparing me for greater service. God tested Abraham’s faith when He told him to sacrifice his only son. Moses was prepared for greater service by spending time on the backside of a desert. 

Elijah was being prepared for greater opportunities. He would soon have a mountain showdown with 400 pagan prophets. 

Dried up brooks offer the chance for me to examine my obedience. If I’m obeying God, then I can be sure the brook will once again overflow its banks. Others may try to discourage me, but my faith and God’s power will carry me through.

How do you respond when your brook dries up?

Prayer: Father, when the brooks dry up, increase our faith and determination to follow You obediently and to depend on You for wisdom. 

Looking for a wide selection of genres in Christian books at discount prices? Use coupon MWiles for 20% off. Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

Thankful for What - Martin Wiles

We praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son. Ephesians 1:6 NLT

Complaints and questions rolled off my tongue like water cascading over a waterfall. 

Wasn’t I working a full-time job? Wasn’t I taking every opportunity that presented itself to make extra money? Wasn’t my wife doing all she could to sell items on Facebook? Why then were the freezer empty and our cupboard bare? Why was the bank account sitting on empty just like the gas needle in our car? Why did I have to worry about whether our insurance company was going to cancel our renter’s insurance? 

“I put a little surprise in your car,” I heard a church member and friend whisper. When I looked in the bag after church, I discovered several things we were out of. Since we hadn’t shared this information with her, I figured God must have. 

“She also gave us this card,” my wife whispered. I slithered my finger under the flap and removed the card. After reading the outside, I opened it to peruse the inside but first had to remove the fifty dollar bill. There was the remainder of what we needed to pay our renter’s insurance.  

The above episode was topped by another the next day. As my wife was checking our bank account balance to make sure we still had the same four dollars we had the last time she checked, she discovered a twenty dollar deposit had been made. Calling the bank to check on this mysterious deposit, my wife was informed she had made the deposit. But she hadn’t. Now we could gas up the car. 

Suddenly, my complaints seemed very selfish. I had forgotten I served a big God. Paul reminded first-century believers of the same. 

God’s kindness is worth thanking Him for. He has poured out His love through the sacrifice of His Son. I can have all the earthly goods I desire and never have to worry about some of the above things I’ve mentioned, but if my sins remain, my account is still in the negative. 

God offers freedom from the debt I owe for my sins if I simply ask for forgiveness. Along with forgiveness, He gives wisdom and understanding so I can make sense out of life. And even when it appears senseless, I can thank Him because I know He understands it when I don’t. 

What do you have to thank God for? 

Prayer: Father, we thank You for the many gifts You give us, but most of all for allowing Your Son to pay our sin debt.

Looking for a wide selection of genres in Christian books at discount prices? Use coupon MWiles for 20% off. Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.