Refined by Sorrow - Martin Wiles

Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. Ecclesiastes 7:3 NLT

Never had I witnessed refined by sorrow in such a drastic manner.

When times of deep sorrow strike, many choose the road of bitterness toward God. “If God’s as good as you claim, why did …,” they ask. And I’ve wondered the same thing when traveling roads of sorrow. Not James. He and his wife rarely attended church. Only through the grapevine did I learn they were facing marital challenges.

Late one evening, I received a call about a wreck involving James’ wife and child. His wife and infant son had been in a wreck. The wife was banged up and in shock, but the child was dead.

Following the funeral and several days of intense grieving, James began attending church regularly. Actually, every time the doors opened. Soon, he walked the aisle, recommitted his life to Christ, and requested baptism. He continued to grow spiritually and, within a year of the accident, served as a deacon in the church. Sorrow had refined him.

What wise King Solomon says seems ludicrous. Who in their right mind would rather have sorrow than laughter? But his conclusion is accurate: sadness has a refining influence.

Periods of sorrow remind me I have little, if any, jurisdiction over most of what happens to me. In hindsight, I see how I could have changed the course of some of my travels, but most were outside my control.

Knowing God has a determinative and permissive will helps. Some things will happen because he determines they will, while others occur because he permits them—even though they aren’t in his perfect plan. Understanding this requires faith and our admitting that we can’t always understand God’s ways. They are higher than our ways.

But if we respond correctly, sorrow will refine our relationship with God by moving us closer to him. Knowing he’s in control will replace worry and anxiety. We’ll plunge deeply into his Word and run to him through prayer. Sorrow can also foster greater perseverance and patience. After all, we have a hope unbelievers don’t.

Don’t let the sorrow that comes from living in a sinful world depress you. God loves you and controls your life events. If you let him, he will refine you through sorrow.

Father, when times of sorrow encroach upon my life, help me trust you to use them as refining tools that will enable me to grow spiritually. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Why Believers Drop Out—and How to Stay Faithful - Martin Wiles

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. 

Ephesians 2:10 NLT

I hated school, so I decided to quit. Join the ranks of the dropouts.

I enjoyed elementary and middle school, but when I got to high school, I developed a sudden distaste for education. By the time I reached my senior year, I’d had all I could take. I had no interest in learning, didn’t see how any of it would benefit me, and wanted out. I pranced up to my parents and said, “I’m quitting school.” Dad didn’t take the news well and politely told me that if I quit, I would be going to work. I was okay with that. I had no plans to sit around and do nothing.

After three or four months, my status as a high school dropout wasn’t fun anymore. The job I found ended, and I was on the unemployment line. Even in the lenient seventies, most employers wanted employees with at least a high school education. I decided I’d return to school. I couldn’t graduate with my class, but I did graduate that summer.

Thankfully, the statistics for high school dropouts have dropped (no pun intended). Only about 5% leave without graduating. But school isn’t the only place from which people drop out. Church follows on its heels. Among 18- to 22-year-olds in America, 66–70% drop out after high school. The reasons vary: life changes, move to college, work, judgmental Christians, and changes in their religious views.

Dropping out of church, however, isn’t relegated to this group alone. Others do as well. And sometimes the dropouts don’t actually leave the church. Some burnout and stay. They take on too much—perhaps because others aren’t doing their part. Others drop out because they’ve been hurt, but stick around and spread their negativity. And some just atrophy, like unused muscles.

God doesn’t intend or want us to drop out of his work. He saves us by his grace and mercy, creates us as his masterpiece, and wants us to do good works that will disseminate his love across the world. These works don’t initially save us or keep us saved thereafter, but they are proof of our connection to him in faith.

When asked, God will give us wisdom to balance our lives, so our chances of dropping out of his service diminish significantly. Don’t drop out on God. With balance, serve him faithfully to the end of your life.

Father, thank you for the privilege of serving you and others. Give me the strength to keep on keeping on in your work. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Dealing with a Difficult Audience - Martin Wiles

They are a stubborn and hard-hearted people. But I am sending you to say to them, “This is what the Sovereign Lord says!” Ezekiel 2:4 NLT

God never promises that what He asks us to do will be easy, and it wasn’t for Dad.

Other than when I was a small child, I only knew Dad as a preacher. Living in a preacher’s home makes one privy to information that the typical church member might not know. One thing entailed getting the inside scoop on how difficult some people can be.

I recall one church my father pastored. Mom, my two brothers, and Dad loved the area and the people. It was country living at its finest. I loved it too and soon decided to move to the area. No sooner had I settled in than Dad decided to move.

Dad and the members got along well, but one thing bothered him. On the Sunday of his resignation, he said, “I’ve been here two years, and no one has ever come forward during an altar call.” In Dad’s mind, this made them a difficult audience to preach to. Perhaps the needed decisions were all made in the pew, but Dad wanted to see action.

I’ve felt Dad’s concern. Having pastored several smaller membership churches, I, too, have preached hundreds of sermons and witnessed little, if any, movement to the altar. Maybe they, too, made their decisions in the pew.

Ezekiel, however, didn’t have to label his audience as difficult to preach to. God made the judgment for him. Stubborn. Hard-hearted. But God sent him anyway.

Whatever the audience God sends us to, our responsibility is to be faithful to His call. God doesn’t hold us responsible for their decisions—whether many, few, or none at all. Or whether the decisions have been made publicly or privately. Our job is to deliver the message God gives.

Sometimes, God has to remind us that even though we don’t see the fruit, it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been produced. Seeing matters of the heart is difficult. Our job is to trust God to give us the strength to do whatever task he assigns. And he will. As he does, he’ll walk by our sides, giving guidance the entire way.

When God calls you to deliver a message to a difficult audience, remember he’ll be faithful to you if you are faithful to him.

Father, enable me to trust you to guide me and give me the strength, regardless of the audience you call me to speak to. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing. No one escapes life's hurts, but we can move beyond them to hope and healing. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Transformation Killers - Martin Wiles

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Romans 12:2 NKJV

 

We were on the precipice of a breakthrough when I heard those infamous words: “We’ve never done it that way before.” Transformation killers. 

 

Every church I’ve led wanted transformation of some sort. I witnessed it before accepting the position, but the key leaders also saw it. 

For one, it was size. They had dwindled to thirty-five people. Young adult families with children had moved away. The church needed new programs. At the next church, a new building lay on the horizon for some. The current one had deteriorated. Bats filled the belfry. No bathrooms existed upstairs. The next church was steeped in traditions that were killing the church's future. 

 

As the other leaders and I attempted to enact the changes necessary for transformation in appearance, attitudes, and attendance, we were often met with resistance: We’ve never done things this way before. We can’t afford for people to leave. How will we pay for it? Are we large enough to support this program?

We All Need Transformation Sometime

 

Churches periodically need transformation because those of us who go there need transformation. Instead of conforming to the world's destructive attitudes and evil actions, Paul says we should transform or renew our minds so that it reflects Christ’s thoughts.

Watch the Transformation Killers

 

Discouragement, fear, unforgiveness, and pessimism are all transformation killers. Naysayers will always be present when transformation lies on the horizon. Their lists of reasons why transformation can’t take place can be lengthy, but they are all designed to discourage enthusiasm, whether they realize it or not. Discouragement can spread like a raging wildfire and bring pessimism with it. Both will kill excitement.

 

Fear is sometimes behind transformation resistance—fear of change, fear of the different. But God isn’t the author of that spirit. He gives a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. Belief, faith, and trust will drive away the fear of transformation.

 

Unforgiveness will also kill transformation by preventing us from working together to make it happen. It can be old feuds or conflicts between personalities.

 

Give God any mindset that keeps you or your church from being transformed.

 

Father, renew my mind daily so my actions will move me into the areas of transformation you desire.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing. No one escapes life's hurts, but we can move beyond them to hope and healing. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Unashamed - Martin Wiles

For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes. Romans 1:16 NLT

Some things that I was ashamed of growing up, I’m now ashamed I was ashamed of.

Until my middle school years, I was proud of my parents. While they didn’t give me everything I wanted, they gave me all I needed. I never had to wear raggedy clothes or holey shoes. Mom prepared home-cooked meals, and our cabinets were never bare. Although my parents were not lovey-dovey, they always acted in ways that let me know I was loved. Abusive or negative words never flowed from their mouths. They wanted the best for their three sons.

When I reached the teenage years, my attitude changed. Suddenly, feelings of shame over who my parents were arose. I didn’t enjoy telling people my father was a preacher because then they labeled me a “PK.” They expected me to be good all the time. And the rules I had previously willingly obeyed now seemed foolish. Being made to go to church every time the doors were opened didn’t help either. Many of my friends never darkened a church’s doors.

Reflecting now, I’m ashamed that I ever was ashamed of my parents. Unfortunately, I was sometimes ashamed of what Paul proclaims loudly that he isn’t ashamed of: the gospel of Jesus Christ. I didn’t like others to know I was a preacher’s kid. I certainly didn’t flaunt my faith and rarely shared it.

Things changed when I was in my mid-twenties. I adopted Paul’s attitude—and for good reason. The gospel is good news, and people need to hear some good news. After all, bad news is almost all we hear from media sources. Telling people they are loved unconditionally and can be forgiven of their sins is encouraging news worth spreading.

I’m not ashamed to share something that includes an invitation for everyone. God excludes none except those who refuse on their own volition to come. Nor am I ashamed to share something that has eternal consequences. Refusing to accept God’s gospel means an eternity in a less-than-pleasant place.

Sharing news that has the power to change lives is something to be proud of, not ashamed of. When we receive the good news of the gospel, everything changes: our outlook on life, our priorities, our relationships, and our eternity.

Don't be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Father, give me the fortitude to boldly proclaim the best news I could ever share.

 

I invite you to try my book Grits, Grace, and Grands. If you have grands, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Little Things Matter - Martin Wiles

If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. Luke 16:10 NLT

His absence almost caused a catastrophe in the coffee café room.

I never paid much attention to what Bill did—until he was absent one Sunday. Noticing that he wasn’t there at his usual time, I plugged the coffee machines in, thinking he was running behind. When it became evident he wasn’t coming, another gentleman and I hurriedly prepared the coffee, only to have the first pot turn out cold, weak, and full of grounds. That night, after the evening services, I made my rounds to lock the buildings. When I came to the coffee room, I noticed both pots were still on—one hosting a carafe with baked coffee.

Those who visit our coffee café probably take what Bill does for granted, as I did. His absence reminded us how critical little things are. Jesus thought so too and taught that a person’s faithfulness in doing small things would lead to greater responsibilities.

We typically measure greatness by our titles, how much we’ve accomplished, or how many people we manage. Not so in Jesus’ economy. He’s more concerned about our attitudes and motives—the whys behind our actions. If done for the wrong reasons or with ulterior motives, the doing doesn’t count, at least not in his eyes.

By our definition of greatness, quantity is important. Jesus, however, considers quality. Whatever he gives us to do, he wants us to do it well—even if it’s no more than making the morning coffee at church. Doing the little things also fosters humility—a trait highly praised by God.

A lot of people doing a multitude of little things is what makes God’s Kingdom advance. We may hear more about the larger churches or the more influential movers and shakers, but the no-names who work faithfully at their respective churches and in their communities make large impacts for Christ.

Be faithful in whatever God gives you to do—even if it appears to be a small task.

Father, thank you for your faithfulness to me. May I be just as faithful to you. 

I invite you to try my book Grits, Grace, and Grands. If you have grands, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

When the Tent of Unity Disappears - Martin Wiles

And now I want to plead with those two women, Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement. Philippians 4:2 NLT

“Sometimes, the circus is larger than the tent.”

My wife and I were mingling with a few church friends at one of the local funeral homes when I heard the remark. Why the subject of people not getting along came up, I’m not sure, but the statement holds so much truth and is similar to a more well-known quote: “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.”

As we talked, my wife contended that women are more likely to be contentious than men. Perhaps Paul would agree. He had two he could shove forward as examples. One gentleman disagreed. He worked with nothing but men and had several stories to tell about their contentiousness. Truthfully, the circus houses both.

Like Paul, I once knew two women who were church members and couldn’t get along. Both were strong-willed and enjoyed being in control. While one was more humble than the other and typically gave in, their disagreements always created a strong undercurrent in their relationship and also had a ripple effect in the church.

When the circus becomes larger than the tent, we forget several things. Believers are unified in Christ. This doesn’t mean we are clones, but we have a common bond—our belief in Christ and in the work he has given us. Remembering we share this bond with other believers should make us work harder to put aside what divides us from them and look harder at what attaches us to them.

Just because believers share a common faith doesn’t mean we share the same personalities. Obviously, Eudoia and Syntyche didn’t, and neither did the two ladies I worked with. I’ve discovered, though, that we can disagree without being contentious. Common ground always presents itself if we look.

The faith journey we're on isn’t all about us. It’s about our faithfulness to God and his Kingdom’s work. Our responsibility is to promote Christ, not ourselves or our selfish ideas. Our testimony, and the testimony of God’s church, lies at stake. And if the disagreement is such that we honestly can’t see a way to solve it, we can always find another church rather than ruin the reputation of the one we're attending.

Do what it takes to make the circus smaller than the tent. God wants his people unified in love. 

Father, help me love others in a bond of unity so my testimony before others will shine brightly. 

I invite you to try my book Grits, Grace, and Grands. If you have grands, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Doing the Religious Mix - Martin Wiles

Then our ancestors joined in the worship of Baal at Peor; they even ate sacrifices offered to the dead! Psalm 106:28 NLT

I suppose Timmy thought no one would notice—and they didn’t. A church I once pastored decided to host a wild game supper since no church in our immediate area did. Timmy hunted anything—and cooked everything. What better person to head this up, I thought.

Among the many interesting dishes Timmy concocted was a wild game-bird perlo. The name of the particular bird that was supposed to inhabit this perlo escapes me, but I haven’t forgotten what Timmy whispered in my ear before the supper began: “I wasn’t able to kill enough _____ to put in the perlo, so I had to add some ____.” Then he listed a few non-game birds—killdeer, robin, mockingbird. My stomach churned. I knew this man and what he was capable of cooking. Could I try this? For fun, I walked over to the pot labeled “Wild Game Surprise” and dished out a large spoonful. Tasty.

The nation of Israel wasn’t as successful as Timmy at mixing things. The nation began with Abraham and God’s call for him to leave his pagan homeland and travel to a new place. Abraham’s descendants had a checkered history of trying to mix religions. Baal was the primary god of the land—a fertility god. Worshiping him and his female counterpart would ensure their crops, livestock, and families produced—or so they thought. They tried numerous times to get this religious mix mixed correctly but never succeeded. That’s because we can’t mix religion.

I have also discovered what they discovered: God doesn’t share His affection with anyone or anything. He is jealous—or zealous—not in a sinful way, but in a way that is for my good. He knows my pandering after other things at his expense will lead to ultimate disappointment and spiritual failure. I can’t mix loving and serving him with anything else.

The good news is that we don’t have to. God’s love for us is unconditional, immeasurable, and sufficient. What He gives us—love and possessions—is all we’ll ever need. We don’t need compromise; we simply need to trust Him . . . period. Jesus said we couldn’t serve him and mammon—money, possessions, or anything else.

Jesus is all you need. Don’t look for anything or anyone else. Doing the religious mix won't work. 

Father, when I think I need just one more thing to satisfy me, remind me you are all I need. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Change with a Purpose - Martin Wiles

Yes, the old requirement about the priesthood was set aside because it was weak and useless. Hebrews 7:18 NLT

Change isn’t easy for most people, but it’s easier to stomach when it has a purpose.

Gossip had driven the previous pastor to another venue. The church had dwindled to around thirty faithful attendees during the interim period. When the church leaders interviewed a new prospective pastor and invited him to take the helm, he said, “Here’s what I plan to do if I come.”

Change is difficult for any church, but some find it even more challenging. But this congregation knew if they didn’t change, death was just around the corner. They agreed to his goals and called him as their pastor. Soon, attitudes made a radical shift. People were excited about coming and what would happen next, perhaps because the changes had a purpose. The pastor designed the changes to transform a dying church into a living, breathing organism that would make a difference in God’s kingdom.

The writer of Hebrews wrote to people who had inherited a several-thousand-year-old tradition: the Levitical priesthood. Men were selected from the tribe of Levi to tend to the Temple, offer sacrifices for the people, and intercede with God on behalf of the people. Now God—through Jesus Christ—had changed all that. Jesus descended from the tribe of Judah, not Levi. The old system was good for a time, but it wasn’t God’s plan for it to last forever.

Change for the sake of change is difficult for most people. Most love time-honored traditions as well as the same old same old. Life is easier when we have a pattern, a routine. When something happens to uproot the norm, we often react with anger, confusion, depression, or resistance. But we can respond with acceptance.

Rarely does God work the same way during the entirety of our lives. His overarching plan for our life requires many changes along the way. Rather than resisting the changes, when we know they come from God, we should willingly accept, adapt, and conform. He is working out His goal for us and conforming us to the image of His Son. Resisting the changes God initiates can prevent our spiritual growth, put us at odds with others, and keep us from realizing the good rewards He is attempting to give us.

When God sends change, accept it willingly.

Father, help us accept the changes You send that are for our good and Your glory.

Tweetable: Does change unnerve you?  

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Help Wanted - Martin Wiles

The harvest is so great, but the workers are so few. Pray to the Lord . . . and ask him to send out more workers for his fields. Luke 10:2 NLT

I heard their help wanted plea, so I took the job. They needed help—and I needed more money.

Picking watermelons was one task I’d never undertaken. I had recently moved to a farming community where one of my fellow church members grew watermelons commercially. The owner had only one regular employee but hired extra hands during watermelon season. When he asked if I wanted to be one of the extra hands, I agreed.

Little did I know it would mean sweltering in one-hundred-degree temperatures in fields clothed with stagnant air. I also didn’t know I’d have to work bent over, rising only to toss the melon to the person waiting in the back of the farm truck that meandered down each aisle. After loading a truck, we’d drive back to the farmer’s home where an eighteen-wheeler waited. Here, we’d unload what we had just loaded. One summer was all I needed to realize we needed extra help.

The harvest Jesus spoke about wasn’t a nice crop of watermelons. Souls were on his mind. He was sending His disciples out into a world where the majority of the people were unbelievers. They had never heard of Jesus—which was possible since He’d only been around thirty or so years—or they had chosen to disbelieve He was the Messiah.

Every church could hang a sign over their doorway reading, “Help Wanted.” Most of the time, pay isn’t involved, but they need the help, nevertheless. While we have more means to preach the gospel message now than ever, the need to tell it is just as critical as in the first century. Technology helps us spread the good news faster and more effectively, but the world is still filled with those who need to hear and respond.

The disciples’ earlier decision to follow Jesus indicated their willingness to apply for the “Help Wanted” position. They would encounter opposition, ridicule, unbelief, and persecution. Some would be martyred. But they went, nevertheless. We should do the same.

Have you answered God’s help wanted ad? How can you share this ad with others?

Father, open my eyes to the harvest around me. Then give me the courage to go.

Tweetable: Have you answered God's "Help Wanted" call? 

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Fitted Together Perfectly - Martin Wiles

Under his direction, the whole body is fitted together perfectly. Ephesians 4:16 NLT

Sixteen was a special number, but not because I had a sweet sixteen party.

When I performed the calculation, I had belonged to sixteen churches. Like any other child who doesn’t have a choice about where they attend church, as a preacher’s kid, I didn’t either. And since my dad didn’t stay at any one place long, I had been in five churches by the time I reached sixteen. Then I went into the ministry and repeated the pattern, although staying a little longer than good ole Dad.

I’ve seen my share of oddities as I've made the church rounds. One church melted when ladies began wearing pantsuits. Another had to wait for the monthly business meeting so they could vote to purchase the necessary parts to repair a toilet. Still another lost a few members when they decided to use the family life center for something other than meals. One had policies to follow if a person of another race or culture showed up. One was even bold enough to close down the sanctuary and move to the family life center to accommodate the growth in numbers they expected.

While different from each other, all shared a commonality: they fit together perfectly. Those on the outside may not have understood some of their beliefs or practices, but those on the inside knew their whys intimately.

Each of the churches was a body unto itself. But they also formed a body collectively—even though they encompassed different denominations, beliefs, and worship styles. Their commonalities included belief in Jesus Christ and members using their gifts.

As the human body only functions perfectly when each part is operating normally, so does the church. It’s up to us to determine what part we are by examining the gift God has given us and then locating a church where we can fit our role into the existing ones. When we discover the perfect fit, our body part will enable that church to advance God’s Kingdom. But if we try to fit where we don’t belong, we’ll only experience frustration and create discord.

Have you discovered the church where you’re the perfect fit?

Father, help us discover the church where our gifts will fit perfectly. 

Tweetable: Have you found your perfect church fit? 

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