Series: The Things We Say - Forgive and Forget - Martin Wiles

But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15 NLT

If we still remember, we haven’t forgiven. The philosophy behind the phrase, forgive and forget.

After seventeen years—nineteen if you count the dating part--Sarah called it quits. Walked out and left her husband and two kids. She couldn’t explain why she did it, but she did. Maybe it was because she never wanted to be a preacher’s wife in the first place. She had endured for sixteen of their seventeen years together. That seemed more than fair. Now the lifestyle was getting to her. She had wild oats to sow that she’d never had a chance to sow before.

John, her husband, was bitter. He couldn’t believe she would do what she had done. Leave it all—everything they had built together. And leave him with the bills and the kids. He knew what the Bible said about forgiveness—and forgave her. Forgetting was another story. Occasionally, one of his church members would remind him if he didn’t forget he hadn’t forgiven. He wondered how you could consciously forget something.

The Bible, and Jesus particularly, has a lot to say about forgiveness. One thing it doesn’t say is that we have to forget what others have done to us as a part of the forgiveness act. Forgiveness is releasing someone from a debt they owe because of a sin they have committed against me. Period. Forgetting is impossible unless we experience brain damage or contract a brain disease such as dementia or Alzheimer’s.

What we can and must do is stop dwelling on the infraction. In our own power, we can’t even accomplish this, but God’s power in us can. John eventually moved beyond what Sarah had done to him and the family. He never forgot it because he couldn’t, but he no longer sought revenge. Neither did he stew over the situation all the time.

We know we’ve forgiven when we don’t dwell on the injury, when we’re not out for revenge, when we can interact with the person who has offended us if we must, and when we don’t get angry when we think about the injustice committed. We’ll never forget others’ wounds against us, but we can forgive and move on.

Stop trying to forget the infractions others have committed against you. Just forgive.

Father, as you have forgiven me, enable me to forgive others who harm me in various ways.

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Lest We Forget - Martin Wiles

Forgetting what we want or terribly need to remember is a horrible thing.

I once chaperoned an eighth-grade trip to Washington, DC. Memorials reign high on the list of things to visit because they are constructed to help future generations remember a particular person or event.

While not the most popular memorial, for me, the Korean War Memorial ranks as the most interesting. The artist majored on the number thirty-eight. Thirty-eight was the number of the parallel that divided North and South Korea. It was also the number of months affected by the war. A problem arose, however, when trying to place thirty-eight life-size soldiers on the designated plot of land, which had only enough room for nineteen. The artist decided to design a reflective wall. When looking at the wall, one can see thirty-eight soldiers trudging through terrain representative of Korea instead of the actual nineteen there. Problem solved. Statement made.

Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the Lord your God and disobey his commands, regulations, and decrees that I am giving you today. 

~Deuteronomy 8:11 NLT

Memorial Day is the day when America remembers military personnel who have died while serving their country. The holiday originated as Decoration Day, which a group of Union veterans established. Eventually, competing Union and Confederate holiday traditions merged into one and were celebrated together.

God also likes memorials and repeatedly warned his Old Testament people not to forget him or the things he had done for them. In Israel’s history, they needed to recall his delivering them from four hundred years of Egyptian slavery. For Christians, the big unforgettable deliverance is Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection.

For years, I’ve worn paraphernalia with Christian symbols on them—mainly the cross. Since I got in on the tail end of the hippie movement, wearing jewelry came naturally. From necklaces with crosses to watches, bracelets, key rings, and shirts with the same, I’ve worn it all—except earrings. Needles never attracted me.

While jewelry and other clothing articles with Christian symbols can make good witnessing and conversation starters, our lifestyle is a better memorial to the difference Christ has made. Symbols mean little without actions, attitudes, and words to back them up. Just as America’s war memorials would mean nothing if we cast aside our love for freedom and our appreciation for those who bought it.

Americans remember their military dead with a holiday. Build something that will help others remember what Christ has done for you.

Father, may I never forget the sacrifice you have made for us through your Son, Jesus Christ. 

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Put the Past to Rest - Martin Wiles

Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT

She ran from her past, but she couldn’t put the past to rest. 

Frances and her sister lived with an abusive father. Their mother died when they were both very young. Their father molested them sexually and drank continuously. Finally, child welfare intervened and placed them with an aunt.

Frances’ restless spirit wouldn’t rest. She joined the hippie movement and all the accompanying activities when she was old enough. She drank to excess, experimented with all types of hallucinogenic drugs, and traveled the country trying to find herself. Occasionally, she showed up to visit her old childhood sweetheart, who still loved her dearly. He wanted to marry her, but she wouldn’t commit. She didn’t know it, but she was still running from her past, trying to make it disappear through unhealthy relationships and habits. 

One day, Frances decided to put her restless spirit to bed. She called up her childhood sweetheart and proposed to him. They married, but there wasn’t any happily ever after—just happy. Drugs and numerous sexual relationships had presented her with a sexually transmitted disease for which there was no cure. She died shortly after taking her vows. 

The apostle Paul gave the formula for putting our pasts to rest. It doesn’t happen through free sex, addictive substances, financial security, or through the hundreds of other ways we might try. We lay our past to rest through a relationship with Christ. Frances’ childhood sweetheart knew that, but he could never convince her until it was too late. 

Knowing Christ through faith doesn’t erase our past, but He gives us a different perspective. The baggage of past mistakes—self-inflicted or not--will always follow us, but it doesn’t have to haunt us. Christ forgives our past, present, and future mistakes and sins immediately when we ask. 

Who we are in Christ presently isn’t who we once were. Others may label us addicts, abusers, gamblers, or criminals. Christ labels us forgiven children. We may remember how terrible our past was, but Christ forgets it and gives us the ability to tell it goodnight. 

If you’re in Christ, put your past to rest so that you can get on with the present and future. 

Father, thank you for forgiving our past and giving us a bright future. 

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Speaking Truth into Memory - Martin Wiles

I have recited aloud all the regulations you have given us. Psalm 119:13 NLT

Truth and temptation have interesting ways of entering our minds, so speaking truth into memory is crucial.

During elementary school, my teachers introduced me to multiplication tables. Beginning with one times one, we learned up to twelve times twelve. When we had finally mastered the twelves, we stopped. We had reached our goal.

The teacher held up large cards with the equation. No overheads or projectors existed in those days. Only after each student had stood before the class and recited their respective tables did we move to the following number.

Although I hated standing in front of the class, I always had a good memory, so the practice wasn’t difficult, just embarrassing. More than fifty years later, I still remember my multiplication tables without really thinking about the answers. Because I spoke truth repeatedly into my memory, it stuck.

The psalmist knew the importance of memorization as well. He probably wasn’t concerned with mathematical facts, but he was with the principles of God’s Word. My parents and early childhood Sunday School teachers were also. I memorized the books of the Bible and demonstrated my knowledge by participating in sword drills. I also memorized special verses in the Bible that most Christians deemed important. Verses like John 3:16 and Romans 10:9–10. Many of the verses I memorized as a child have stuck with me.

Some years ago, I bought a pocket-sized notebook and began recording special Bible verses. Many of those I had memorized as a child. Verses reminding me of God’s promises, love, and provision when facing troublesome times. Before long, I had filled the book. I keep it beside my favorite chair. Periodically, I’ll look through the book and recite the verses.

God’s Word doesn’t automatically enter our minds, but we can speak it there. Repeating verses aloud speaks truth into our memories. Doing it often speaks it into our long-term memories where it remains.

When we firmly implant it, God will use those verses to guide us through the challenges of everyday life. Regardless of the situation or emotion we face, a verse will fit.

Are you speaking truth into your mind? It’s never too late to start.

Prayer: Father, may Your word be so crucial that we would speak into our memories. 

Tweetable: Are you speaking truth into your memory? 

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Meandering Monday - Keeper of the Memories - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Meandering Monday, where we take a trip back to an earlier post and enjoy it again.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. Deuteronomy 6:7 NKJV

I was the keeper of the memories.

I’ve never had to keep the family memories before. Sure, I knew them—and even helped with a family genealogical book—but most of my relatives were strangers to me. My immediate family was the only ones I had built memories with. Those memories I didn’t have to worry about forgetting because I had patriarchs and matriarchs to help me recall.

Then, it happened. One by one, family members began dying. Now only my mother remains. When she’s gone, I’m next in line. Since her memory is fading, I try to ask her everything I might want to know about the family. Hopefully, someone in the family will keep the memories alive when I’m gone as well.

Early in his history with the Israelites, God instructed them to keep the memories alive. Not family memories necessarily, but commandment memories. The only way their children and grandchildren would know God’s commands was if the parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents talked about them continuously. Regardless of where they were, they should let God’s mandates be on their lips.

The only way to move items from short into the long-term memory bank is through memorization and continual use. I memorized multiplication tables as a middle schooler and have used them all my life. I don’t have to think about what eight times six is. I’ve calculated it so many times the answer comes naturally.

So do God’s commands. I’ve known them since I was able to comprehend them. My parents engrafted them into my mind through various teaching methods. I did the same with my children. Hopefully, they will do the same with theirs.

We can force salvation and godliness on family members, but we can offer them by making them a regular part of our speech and living out the memories through everyday activities.

Are you keeping spiritual memories alive for your family?

Prayer: Father, may we keep the memories of Your commandments alive in our family’s lives. 

Tweetable: Are you keeping God's commands alive? 

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When God Forgets - Martin Wiles

And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins. Jeremiah 31:34b NLT

Things began slipping away…things I didn’t want to lose.

Memory. An interesting thing. When I was young, I had no trouble memorizing—anything, or a lot of things. Even in my twenties—while in college with a professor we called the “grocery list” professor because of the long list of items he made us memorize for tests—I sailed through the class with no problem, making an A with ease.

Then it happened. In my late thirties, people's names started to escape me. Then other things. My wife became my memory board—until she developed a brain tumor and struggled with remembering herself. Now as my age progresses toward retirement, I exercise my mind in numerous ways, hoping my ability to remember will hang around a little longer.

I discovered recently that age isn’t the only thing that affects remembering and forgetting. While attending a training conference for teachers, I decided to take a class on technology, taught by a gentleman who was my age. Since I teach middle schoolers, I thought I might pick up some new technology ideas I could use in the classroom.

I did, but I also discovered why my middle schoolers can’t seem to retain anything. The rapid advance of technology, which makes knowledge available at our fingertips, has shortened the short-term capabilities of our younger generation. They struggle to memorize—or don’t even try—because they don’t have to. If they want to know something, they google it.

While most things I don’t want to forget, some things I do want God to forget: my sins, in particular. And according to Jeremiah, He will when I ask Him to forgive me. How God can forget when the Bible pictures Him as omniscient (all-knowing), I don’t understand, nor can I explain. The best I can say is He chooses to forget. With me, age takes care of forgetting. With others, it might be busyness or brain damage. With God, doing so is a choice.

God wiping my sin slate clean bears importance. If He didn’t, He would still hold me accountable. That would bring His punishment—presently and eternally. But because of what His Son accomplished on Calvary’s cross, God can clothe me in Christ’s righteousness when I come to Him for forgiveness. This involves His forgetting my sins. If He didn’t choose to forget, He couldn’t clothe me this way.

When we stand in this wonderful position, we no longer fear God’s condemnation. Instead, he loves us and has accepted us into His family, with all the fringe benefits. His forgetting our sins should prompt us to love others and to do good for them as God has done for us. It should also lead us to stand in daily appreciation to our loving heavenly Father.

Has God forgotten your sins?

Prayer: Father, we thank You for forgetting our sins and clothing us in the righteousness of Your Son.

Tweetable: Has God forgotten your sins?

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Walk-on Wednesday - Don’t Forget God - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Walk-on Wednesday. By Hump Day, we are struggling, but we believe a good devotion can strengthen us to finish the week strong. 

But that is the time to be careful! Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the Lord your God and disobey his commands. Deuteronomy 8:11 NLT 

Forgetting can be embarrassing and aggravating.

I once could memorize things, names, and events easily. Having a college professor who required memorizing long lists of answers to numerous questions wasn’t a problem. Despite having a good memory, I’ve always carried several calendars. Then I turned forty, and life changed. Names were the first thing to go. I could look at people I’d known for years and forget their last names—and sometimes their first. I still record scheduled events, birthdays, anniversaries, and a “to do” list on several calendars, but now I need to. These memory lapses disturb me, but I’ve accepted them as a part of the aging process.

God’s Old Testament followers tended to forget as well, but it wasn’t due to age. Instead, they usually forgot because they turned their attention to something else—often idol worship. Or because things were going so well they didn’t see the need for God anymore. God cautioned them to be careful.

Forgetting God is never something I intend to do, but it happens just the same. If things go too well in my life, I begin thinking I have life under control and can handle anything that comes my way. So, God sends or allows a little adversity to remind me I can’t handle life without him—at least not without messing it up.

Things can easily distract us: relationships, material things, hobbies, sports, substances, etc. 

When distracted, we’re more apt to focus on the distraction than on the God who wants our undivided attention. 

Taking precautions is necessary if we’re to focus on God and obey his commands continuously. God is behind every success we enjoy, and he will see us through every adversity we encounter.

Don’t forget God along life’s journey.

Prayer: Father, may we never forget loving and serving You are the most essential things in our lives.

Tweetable: Have you forgotten God? 

 

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Walk-on Wednesday - When God Forgets - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Walk-on Wednesday. By Hump Day, we are struggling, but we believe a good devotion can strengthen us to finish the week strong. 

I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds. Hebrews 10:17 NLT

I stared at her, but couldn’t remember her name.

The fact that I had taught her for three years made no difference. Obviously, she noticed my blank stare.

With a smirk on her face, she remarked, “Have you forgotten my name?”

Returning her smirky smile, I replied, “How could you tell?”

Memory lapses are a part of aging. Since I’ve always had an excellent memory, these momentary lapses disturb me. While I know they come with age—especially the forgetting of names—I can’t help but wonder if they’re not foreboding shadows of some dreaded disease.

Some things in my past, I want to forget. Unkind remarks. Sinful acts. Unhealthy relationship decisions. Unwise disciplinary decisions made with children. But others I don’t. Such as what day it is. Or month. My wife’s name and birthday. Our anniversary. My address. Important things.

Old Testament worshipers never had the assurance that God forgot their sins. Repeatedly bringing animals for a priest to slaughter on an altar constantly reminded them. The blood ran, but their sins didn’t. The animal died, but the feeling that something wasn’t quite right between them and God remained. They wanted to forget . . . but couldn’t.

God is in the business of forgetting. Not that he is old and losing his memory—although he has been around forever. He forgets on purpose, and since he is God, forgetting is something he must purposefully do—not something that happens because of his age. He doesn’t forget the important things such as my name, that I belong to him, that he’s promised to meet my needs and see me through every trial, or that his Son has died for my sins.

What God does forget are our sins. The ones we’ve confessed and repented of. The ones we’ve allowed the blood of his Son—not some animal—to cover. He forgets on purpose the ways we’ve failed him, so he can use us in the present.

Confession and repentance are all it takes to make God forget our sins. Has he forgotten yours?

Prayer: Father, we praise You for not holding our sins against us when they are forgiven through Christ. 

Tweetable: Has God forgotten your sins? 

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Forgetful - Martin Wiles

Never forget this! Deuteronomy 25:19 NLT

Many things I wish would hang around…don’t.

The process began around the age of forty. Things began escaping me. Names came first. People I’d known for years now had names that appeared as strangers. I recognized the faces, but couldn’t recall the names.

Almost twenty years later, things have gotten worse. Sometimes I can’t even recall the names of students who I presently teach. They come to my desk asking for a pass to the library, and I pause before writing their name. Because I can’t remember it. Most of the time, it eventually comes to me, but not without using some brainpower.

I wish I could remember the names of all the students I’ve taught down over the years.

I would love to remember all the stories my maternal grandfather told. Just children’s stories, but with a Southern accent I wish I could still hear. I’ve forgotten it.

I wish I could remember all the stories my paternal grandfather told me about his life growing up. Many of them I do remember and have written down, but many more are lost. And all my grandparents are gone, so I can’t ask them.

I wish I could continuously remember the death dates of my relatives who have died. Sure, I can look the dates up, but that takes time, and even if I did I’d probably forget them again.

Rehearsing is a good way to remember. It’s how I remember special Bible verses I don’t want to forget. If I go too long without rehearsing them, I’ll have to start over again.

While we don’t truly forget—unless we have brain damage or a brain disease—many things are beyond our ability to pull into our present memory. God gave His Old Testament people some things He didn’t want them to forget. Some of the things their enemies had done to them were among the list, but more importantly were to love others, to show kindness, to remember the poor, and to remember that they were once slaves.

Remembering what God has done in our lives is always proper. He has delivered us from sin’s penalty, placed abundant life in us presently, and promised us eternal life in a wonderful place called heaven.

Remembering these things causes us to remember other important things: helping the suffering, giving to the needy, associating with the lonely, helping the orphans, lending to the widows. Things that Jesus says serve Him and demonstrate our identity in Him.

What can you do to make sure you don’t forget the most essential things in life?

Prayer: Father, help us never to forget Your love for us and our responsibilities to others.

Tweetable: Do you struggle with forgetting? 

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Gone…and Forgotten - Martin Wiles

Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that same poor man. Ecclesiastes 9:15 NKJV

If others will forget everything I do … and me … what’s the point in doing anything?

I’ve forgotten most of the friends I’ve made. I surely can’t remember all the toys I had as a child. Nor can I remember the names of all the schools I attended, since Dad was a preacher and we moved around a lot. As I get older, I even struggle to remember current things. Such as my wife’s birthday, my anniversary, the kids’ birthdays, and the grandkids’ birthdays.

Unless I keep in mind Solomon’s purpose in writing the book, I’ll be sorely depressed by the time I finish reading his meanderings. In this instance, he tells of a wise man who by some act of wisdom saved a city from destruction … but he was forgotten soon thereafter.

The story makes me wonder about my own life. Although a number of people know me now, how many will remember me after I’m dead—and for how long? After all, those who know me now will face my fate. Will they tell their children about me so they will remember me? Or will my name soon fade into oblivion after my demise? Will my children pass along memories about me to their children … and grandchildren? Will I be gone—and quickly forgotten?

Maybe this is why Jesus instructed us to store our treasures in heaven rather than on earth. A place where moth and rust cannot destroy them, nor can thieves steal them. I, and my life contributions, will be quickly forgotten on earth, but not if I store them in heaven.

Through a life of obedience to God, I send treasures to heaven where they are safe and secure and where God will never forget them. I’ll receive rewards for things done with the proper motives—crowns I’ll quickly cast at the feet of Jesus.

Of course, being so heavenly minded makes me no earthly good—and I should be earthly good. Through technology … by placing encouraging words from God on the Internet … I can help keep my memory alive for years after my death. And more importantly, I can make sure God’s Word keeps affecting people’s lives long after I’m gone and forgotten.

What can you do to keep your influence alive long after you’ve gone?

Prayer: Father, help us live each day in light of eternity, knowing the things of this world are only temporary.

Tweetable: What will others remember about you?

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