Feeling Forgotten - Martin Wiles

Suddenly, the angel of the LORD appeared to him as a blazing fire in a bush. Exodus 3:2 NLT

The deed had been done, as ugly as it was, and now I was feeling forgotten.

Marital breakups are never easy. No matter who’s at fault, the breakup can leave each partner feeling forgotten. Mine did. My aloneness was intensified when many of my professional friends suddenly left as well. Perhaps they didn’t know how to respond. Maybe they thought I needed time to gather my thoughts. Some may have been embarrassed to associate with me since our profession looked unfavorably on divorce. Only one or two checked to see how I was doing. 

I suppose Moses felt the same. When he killed an Egyptian who was beating one of his fellow countrymen, I imagine he thought he was doing the right thing. But when the king discovered the murder and placed a death sentence on him, he knew differently. Fleeing to the desert, he met a priest, married his daughter, and spent the next forty years tending sheep. In a split second, Moses went from the palace to the poorhouse and from being surrounded by hundreds of people to living with sheep.

When feeling forgotten, I try to remember that feelings don’t always mimic reality. Moses had a spouse, children, a father-in-law, and neighboring shepherds. I had community and church friends. I felt forgotten because my situation in life had changed, and because a few had chosen to cool our friendship.

But even if others forsake us, God never will. He didn’t leave Moses, and he didn’t leave me when my spouse did. He was as close as he had always been. The feelings of loneliness merely kept me from feeling his presence.

Though my situation made it difficult, I tried to surround myself with spiritual encouragers. People who would remind me of God’s promises, who would call periodically and check on me, and who would hug me and tell me everything would be okay. These people forged friendships that I still cherish today, many years after I felt forgotten.

When you pass through times that make you feel forgotten, remember God is always near.

Father, when I feel forgotten by others, remind me you always walk by my side. 

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Feeling Forgotten - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Meandering Monday, where we take a trip back to an earlier post and enjoy it again.

A poor, wise man knew how to save the town, and so it was rescued. But afterward no one thought to thank him. Ecclesiastes 9:15 NLT

I had languished in his office for an hour, feeling forgotten. What more did he want?

He was a small-town physician I’d seen since I moved to my new residence to pastor my first church. We hit it off immediately. Many times—after my examination—he sat in the office and talked for a few minutes.

But this day differed. Although the sign in the waiting room said I shouldn’t have to wait longer than thirty minutes, I waited an hour. He was busy.

I finally made it back to the room, where the nurse took my vitals and said, “The doctor will be in soon.”

One hour later, I peeked my head out the door, flagged a nurse down, and said, “Did ya’ll forget about me?” Sure enough, they had.

After two hours of waiting, all I got was, “Oh, we’re sorry.”

The poor wise man knew how it felt for others to forget him. His poverty hadn’t affected his wisdom. His town was in danger. He offered his solution to the officials who took his advice. The town was saved, but he was forgotten.

Feeling forgotten isn’t fun. It quickly raises the anger emotion. How could you possibly forget about ME? I’m important. I’m a . . . Don’t you remember the . . . I gave? My parents were . . . I attended . . . Or it can lead me to a depressed mood. I’m not worth anything anyway.  

When someone assaults our pride or our anger aroused by someone forgetting us, we are reminded the world doesn’t revolve around us. This is God’s world. We’re only important because of our connection with him. 

Anything we accomplish is because God gives us wisdom and strength. Our light shines so others will see our good works and glorify God. 

Although others may forget and neglect us, God never will. He never overlooks his treasured creations—the masterpieces he is still working on.

If you are feeling forgotten, remember God is always by your side.

Prayer: Father, when all others forget us, we give thanks that You never do or will. 

Tweetable: What do you do when you are feeling forgotten? 

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Feeling Forgotten - Martin Wiles

Pharaoh’s chief cup-bearer, however, forgot all about Joseph, never giving him another thought. Genesis 40:23 NLT

People surround them, but they are still the forgotten.

Thousands of them across the world languish in their personal homes, nursing homes, or assisted living homes. Doctors, nurses, and other residents surround them … but they are forgotten. They are not the sole survivors in their families … but they might as well be. Too many miles. Wrong priorities. Busyness. Unforgiveness. Whatever the reason, their family members stay away or only visit rarely.

Bobbie Smith, a professional caregiver, places the blame on the modern trend of a breakdown in extended family relationships. Family units have spread across the country, separating grandparents from grandchildren—and causing many of the elderly to feel pushed to the side and forgotten. Distance makes visiting difficult.

And consequences follow. A University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) study found people 60 and above who feel lonely experienced a forty-five percent increase in their risk of death and a fifty-nine percent greater risk of mental and physical decline (https://www.agingcare.com/articles/loneliness-in-the-elderly-151549.htm).

The following poem expressed the pain of feeling forgotten:

Mask
© Matt

I was once sad and lonely,
Having nobody to comfort me,
So I wore a mask that always smiled,
To hide my feelings behind a lie.

Before long, I had many friends;
With my mask, I was one of them.
But deep inside I still felt empty,
Like I was missing a part of me.

Nobody could hear my cries at night,
For I designed my mask to hide the lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling,
For I designed my mask to be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears,
And behind all the comfort were the fears.
Everything you think you see
Wasn't everything there was to me.

Day by day
I was slowly dying.
I couldn't go on,
There was something missing..

Until now I'm still searching
For the thing that'll stop my crying,
For someone who'll erase my fears,
For the person who'll wipe my tears.

But till then, I'll keep on smiling,
Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing.
Hoping one day I can smile,
Till then, I'll be here...waiting.

(https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-mask-that-always-smiled)

Joseph knew all about being forgotten. Over a period of thirteen years, he experienced being sold by his brothers—who hated him—being falsely accused of sexual improprieties, being imprisoned, and being forgotten by the person whom he’d interpreted a dream for. Perhaps, he even felt forgotten by God. But he wasn’t.

In spite of Joseph’s trials, God never forgot him. In fact, his trials made up a part of God’s sovereign plan to use him and his family. And when the right time arrived, God elevated Joseph to second in command and used him to save his family from a severe famine in their homeland.

Others may forget us—and circumstances may make us feel forgotten—but God never forgets who or where we are. He has a plan for our lives, which may include some tough times, but if we’ll keep the faith He’ll show us just how much He loves us.

If you’re feeling forgotten, turn to the One who never forgets anyone.

Prayer: Father, when we feel forgotten, help us remember You never forget us.

Tweetable: Are you feeling forgotten? 

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