To Hover or Not to Hover - Martin Wiles

You have seen what I did to the Egyptians. You know how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. Exodus 19:4 NLT

A mother hen had nothing on Sadie.

Sadie was a hoverer. I knew her from church and watched her hover—over the piano, over people, and over her two children.  

Instead of letting her teenage son sit with the other young people, Sadie made him sit on the front row—the row she sat on. Until he graduated from high school and left for college, he idled in the front row while Sadie hovered over him. By the time their daughter reached her teenage years, Sadie had relaxed her hovering—but just a little. Perhaps seeing her son rebel against religion and God during his college years explained the small amount of leniency that crept into how Sadie parented her daughter. Occasionally, she’d let her sit with the other young folks, but not often. Most of the time, she—like her brother—sat on the front row by her mom. 

Sadie’s hovering didn’t keep her children from rebelling, but at least she had the assurance that she’d done her best. God’s hovering didn't keep his children from rebelling either. No sooner had he delivered them from Egyptian slavery than they rebelled against everything he had taught them. 

My parents also hovered over me. Their hovering didn’t prevent my rebellious behavior. I thought I knew best. I needed to spread my wings and fly—to sow my wild oats. Neither did my hovering keep my children from rebellious acts. They, too, needed to fly on their own. 

What children do once they leave the nest is beyond a parent’s control. The fact that they might—and probably will—rebel doesn’t alleviate a parent’s responsibility to hover. God does, and we should too—but with caution and wisdom.

Hovering entails unconditional love. God has it, and all parents should, too. Parents should teach their children God’s rules and principles, but we must also love them whether they obey or not. Unconditional love includes discipline. God does it when we go astray—and parents should too. Like parents, I’ve watched hens, ducks, and geese scold their young when they wandered away, but they also worked diligently to bring them back. 

Hover lovingly over your children. As a parent, God gave you that responsibility. And believe it or not, your children will eventually appreciate it. 

Father, help me to bring my children up in the nurture and admonition of your commands, while loving them unconditionally. 

If you seek hope and healing because of hurts you have faced, then Hurt, Hope, and Healing is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Parental No-Nos - Martin Wiles

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 NLT

Parenting isn’t for parents; it’s for the kids—meaning we must battle some parental no-nos.

Being a firstborn or only child isn’t always easy. I’m the oldest of three boys. The next appeared nine years later, and the third two years later. By the time my middle brother arrived, I could help care for him, relieving Mom and Dad of some of the stress.

As soon as I was old enough, my parents taught me to wash the dishes, fold the laundry, take out the trash, pick up my room, and cut the grass. When I was sixteen, Dad thought I needed to establish good credit. So, off to the furniture store we went, where I purchased a solid oak bedroom suite and charged it. This was one of many of Dad’s infamous ways to teach me responsibility, which I now appreciate.

Since I grew up in the 1960s and 70s, the haircut rule frustrated me. By this time, my father was a full-time preacher. Church folks tended to have expectations of the pastor’s children—one being that they would not be hippies. While Dad gave me a little leeway, it wasn’t as much as I wanted. He said two inches below the ear; I wanted four inches below the shoulder. Of course, he won out by giving me the infamous saying, “As long as your feet are under my table, you will do what I say.”

Eighteen was my benchmark. Long before it arrived, I made plans to move out as soon as I celebrated that birthday. And I did. The responsibility my parents taught me through various miserable exercises, however, made me what they hoped for: responsible. I found a job and a house to rent and faced the world.

By the time my two kids came along, I had mulled over some of my parents’ techniques—deciding which to keep, which to modify, and which to toss out with the bathwater. Looking back on my childhood, I concluded that much of what my parents did might have been for them, not me.

Don’t Live Your Failed Expectations Through Your Children

I don’t know what my dad’s childhood dreams were, but Mom’s dream was to become a concert pianist. With one quick word, “Yes,” her dream died, and at least one of Dad’s materialized: to marry her. She became a full-time secretary and soon a full-time preacher’s wife. Since she had been playing the piano since she was a child, she wanted a son who could play it as well. Men made better piano players, she thought. She tried her best, but I wasn’t interested.

I look back with regret on several things I didn’t do that my parents wanted. Nevertheless, when my two children came along, I approached things a little differently. Instead of making demands on them—that they play ball, run track, or get involved in gymnastics—my wife and I let them choose. Living out my childhood and teenage neglects through them wouldn’t soothe my regret.

Don’t Repeat Poor Parenting Techniques

Doing the same thing the same way and expecting different results defines insanity. Dad and Mom believed in spankings for insolent behavior, along with various other restrictions. Back then, they didn’t have to worry about teachers at school or a random stranger in the store calling the Department of Social Services. Their disciplinary methods would now lack political correctness.

I had quite a few years to consider my parents’ techniques before my two children came along. Some I held to; others I revamped or buried. I also thought about the theme of responsibility that ran so heavily through my childhood. To a degree, it seemed to interfere with my childhood.

For the most part, I found that my parents’ parenting methods were effective and honorable. I kept those. The few I thought lacked effectiveness, I tossed. I didn’t have to repeat the process.

Don’t Neglect Parenting Techniques That Teach

I think Mom and Dad designed a few of their disciplinary measures to relieve their stress or prove a point. After all, when I questioned some of them, I got the standard no-brainer answer: “Because I said so.”  

Discipline entails teaching. I wasn’t sure all my parents’ techniques did that—at least, positively. Nor did all their attempts to teach me responsibility.

Teaching my children to be who God created them to be was more important than repeating my parents’ parenting methods. After all, this parenting thing was supposed to be about them, not me or their mother.

No one ever said parenting was easy, but parenting isn’t about the parent. It’s about teaching children to be responsible citizens who will make a positive impact on their world. Remember, parenting isn’t for parents.

 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Directing the Wandering Child - Devon Harrison

With all my heart I have sought You; Do not let me wander from Your commandments. Psalms 119:10 NASB 1995

My eleven-year-old son is a wanderer.

He is at the age where action figures, Legos, and superheroes no longer captivate him for hours. Iron Man and Captain America will need to conquer more fearsome foes to grab his attention. His favorite phrases have turned into “I’m bored” and “There’s nothing to do.” And mine have turned into “Hey Bored, I’m dad,” and “Go outside.” He follows me around—mere inches behind me. I ask him what he is doing and what he wants. All I get is, “Nothing,” or “I don’t know.” He is aimless with no destination—a kid who’s growing up.

The Israelites were in a similar state. The pillar of fire that led them by night did not burn in their hearts, nor did the manna entice their appetites. The promised land seemed unreachable. They grumbled, doubted, and wandered. They did not seek the Lord or grow up. And only two of the original twelve spies reached their destination.

Will my son die in the wilderness? Or fail to grow up? I don’t believe so. But just like him, we all wander at different times. We stay at dead-end jobs because they pay the bills, focus on problems instead of God’s promises, and make decisions based on feelings rather than solid principles. We wander and lose our aim because we don’t plan a path to our destination.

I must give my son things to do and learn different ways to help him find his way—reach his destination. He will pick up pinecones and help his mom with the dishes. He will have a destination; I’ll ensure it.

But as my son comes to me, we must go to the Father. With God, we have direction and a promise. And we become much more than wanderers.

Don’t let your children be directionless wanderers. Consult the one who gives perfect direction for you and them. 

If you enjoyed this devotion, please share it with your friends. Also, invite them to visit our Parent Talk page.  

Devon Harrison is a dad who shares his home with four rambunctious boys, one wife, and a small pooch—and loves every minute of it. 

Thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Help us spread God's encouragement through His Love Lines.

Count the Coins - Chrissy Wiles Harrison

Please join me in welcoming Chrissy Wiles Harrison, the main contributor to our new Parent Talk page. Although we may occasionally feature other writers on this page, she will be our featured writer.  

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:7-9 NIV

While pregnant with my firstborn, I took a seasonal job at Toys R Us. I know—the perfect way to jump into motherhood, right? As you can imagine, it was chaos. Not the store—it actually had a nice layout and system in place—but the time of year. Hot new toys plus eager, overwhelmed parents plus Christmas-time busyness equals far less patience all around.

But I’ll never forget one customer and his son. A line formed behind them as they waited in line at my register. And I’m not talking about a normal line. This was a long, giving-me-evil-looks, ready-to-be-checked-out-and-move-on-with-their-lives line.

The man’s son counted out every single coin he had so he could buy his toy. My insides were dying. I was frantic about the entire process. How long would this kid take? Can’t his dad help him? Doesn’t he see this insane line behind them? Do my customers think it’s my fault? Are they going to be upset with me?

Maybe my face showed how I felt, or maybe the dad offered advice to my pregnant-cashier self, but he looked up at me and said something I’ll never forget: “You never miss an opportunity to teach them.”

Suddenly, my mind quieted. What a profound lesson this dad had just taught me and one the Lord reminds me of frequently.

According to an observation floating around the internet, seventy-five percent of all the time a parent will spend with a child is complete by the time they reach twelve. And by the time they turn eighteen, well, ninety percent of parent-child time is already spent (timesfreepress.com).

How much time have I already missed teaching my children—I am often far too busy or worried about other things that I forget the little time we have left. They need to know so many things. Sometimes, I forget I’m the one who must teach all of it to them: respect, manners, and life skills (soooo many life skills). Also that it’s okay to make mistakes and that they are loved.

Most importantly, to teach them about their Savior and how to have a relationship with him. But to lead them to this place, I must stop being so busy or worried about others and let them count the coins.

God told the Israelites to teach their children. Think of some ways you can teach yours to count the coins.

If you enjoyed this devotion, please share it with your friends. Also, invite them to visit our Parent Talk page.  

Chrissy Wiles Harrison is a homeschooling mom who shares her home with four rambunctious boys, one husband, and a small pooch—and loves
every minute of it. 

Thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Help us spread God's encouragement through His Love Lines.

Watch the Snacks - Chrissy Wiles Harrison

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 NLT

I generally try to make the best decisions with the food in our house. But let’s be transparent. That doesn’t always happen.

For instance, my toddler was once a really good eater—fruit, yogurt, granola/fruit bars, meat, vegetables, etc. Recently, however, he’s discovered junk food. We will blame this on a mixture of holidays and grandparents. He wants junk for breakfast, junk for lunch, and junk for dinner. You name it. Gummies. Marshmallows. Jellybeans. Goldfish. Fruit roll-ups.

His addiction has become a daily battle—one that overflows to the older two kids. And, honestly, even to the two parents in the house, too, because, hey, when it’s right there in front of us looking so tasty, it’s what we choose. Every. Single. Time. We mumble, “One piece won’t be a big deal. Sure, you can have that. Just this one time.” Thennnn, it becomes more than once. And the battle is brutal. Have you ever fought a toddler? They are such sweet villains.

But moving on . . .

Junk food is just one example of how these sweet little people in my house like to test the limits we’ve set for them. Another is screen time—what they are allowed to watch. And their words. And the people we let them be around.

We compromise. And it has made me think about how this resembles sin. When we allow sin to hang out in front of us, we make it easier to make the wrong choice—to compromise. When we keep junk food visible, it is much easier to choose it than the healthy stuff.

Our job as parents is to protect and teach our kids while they are under our roof. To create boundaries and teach them boundaries for themselves. To help them know the difference between what is good for them and what is too much.

We must watch their eyes—our eyes. We must watch the stuff we put in front of us—food, entertainment, relationships. The list is endless. We must constantly be on guard—to show them the way, to watch the snacks.

Make a plan to watch those snacks for yourself—and for the ones you love.

If you enjoyed this devotion, please share it with your friends.

Chrissy Wiles Harrison is a homeschooling mom who shares her home with four rambunctious boys, one husband, and a small pooch—and loves every minute of it.  

Thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Help us spread God's encouragement through His Love Lines.

One Day You Will Thank Me

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6 NLT

“One day, you’ll thank me.”

My wife and I—along with my brother and sister-in-law—decided to celebrate Christmas day and the two days after with a trip to Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, Tennessee. One of the things on our to-do list involved walking the new Skybridge in Gatlinburg. Throngs of people thwarted our first attempt, so we decided to return earlier the next day.

Sure enough, our second attempt rewarded us with shorter lines and wait times. As my wife and I awaited our turn to step onto the bridge, two families with a teen boy in each preceded us. Signs decorated the railings around the bridge, telling visitors not to jump on the bridge or shake it.

As soon as one of the teenage boys set foot on the bridge, he did exactly what the sign warned against: jumped. An attendant scolded him. He responded with a vulgar hand motion. The worker said nothing—nor did his parents.

We continued to follow the two families across the bridge. Halfway across, the other teenager grabbed the rail and shook. Another misdemeanor—one that his parents again ignored.

A little farther, the two families stopped to take pictures. Wanting to hurry across, we passed them. The father of one of the teens—who also had a smaller child—responded by tossing out the “f” bomb because we thought we were too good to wait.

I thought of this Bible verse and also of one of my dad’s sayings. I wondered if these children would be able to say their parents had guided them along right paths. Sure, they spent time with them, but they also ignored their bad behavior by overlooking their disobedience to rules and authority figures.

Dad always used this saying when I didn’t like one of the rules he and mom had made. When I balked, he reminded me that one day I’d thank him for the rule. I didn’t think so then, but he was right. During my teen years, I, too, went astray—as the bridge-walking teens appeared to be doing. But during my forays into disobedience, my parents’ rules—which represented God’s rules—always haunted me. When I became a young adult, I gave up my disobedience and returned to the right path.

God has given parents the responsibility to train their children in the right way. This entails teaching them God’s principles, but it also involves noticing what gifts and talents God has given them and then encouraging them to use those gifts in God’s service to make the world a better place.

God holds parents accountable for adhering to His guidelines for parenting. Although we can’t control what decisions our children make—and shouldn’t beat ourselves up when they go astray after our honorable efforts—teaching is our job. We must make the effort. How they respond is on them, but laying a good foundation makes it more probable they’ll choose the right path.

Are you laying a foundation your children will one day thank you for?

Prayer: Father, give us parents the wisdom and fortitude to raise our children and grandchildren in a way that pleases You. 

Tweetable: What will your children thank you for? 

Thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Help us spread God's encouragement through His Love Lines.

Living Under God’s Roof - Martin Wiles

If you love me, obey my commandments. John 14:15 NLT

Living under God’s roof will differ from some roofs we’ve lived under.

“As long as your feet are under my table, you will do what I tell you.”

I hated the saying, but it seemed to be my father’s favorite. I don’t recall hearing it when I was a young boy—probably because I didn’t do anything to cause him to say it. But that changed when I reached my teenage years. Dad didn’t appreciate some of the friends I hung out with, nor the bad habits I picked up—and he didn’t even know about all of them.

When I began sassing him and momma, telling them how much I hated living under their rules and trying to buck them in any way I could, he told me I would obey as long as I lived there. And that’s why I didn’t live there any longer than I had to. As soon as I graduated high school and got a full-time job, I moved out. Doing so was like a breath of fresh air. I didn’t do anything wrong or illegal, but I could make my own rules about life.

Several times after moving out—for various reasons—I needed to temporarily move back home with my parents. Then, I was an adult, but if I didn’t do something Dad thought I should have, he’d throw the old saying up again. I always thought to myself, I’m an adult. You don’t have any authority over me anymore. He didn’t—but he did if I lived with him and didn’t help with the bills. Understandably, I didn’t hang around any longer than necessary.

Jesus told His followers that obedience signaled their love for Him. And He didn’t put any age limit on their obedience.

We are all under God’s roof, whether we want to be or not. He’s the Creator; we’re the created. But when I decided to become God’s child, I began living under His roof in a different way. Before accepting Christ as my Savior, I wanted to go my own way, as I did when I was a teenager. After choosing to follow Christ, I want to go His way—as long as I live.

God’s commands are for our good, and God adorns them with grace and mercy. Obeying His commands helps me live at peace with Him and others. At times, God’s commands may seem harsh, but that’s because I’m viewing them from the wrong angle.

On occasion, I thought I wanted to get out from under God’s roof. I dabbled in areas I had no business messing with. I soon discovered nothing I thought I enjoyed even began to compare with living under God’s roof.

Choose to live under God’s roof by obeying His commands. No better dwelling place exists.

Prayer: Father, guide us to live under Your roof with gratitude and obedience. 

Tweetable: How are you living under God's roof? 

Thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Help us spread God's encouragement through His Love Lines.

Walk-on Wednesday - Loving God’s Discipline - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Walk-on Wednesday. By Hump Day, we are struggling, but we believe a good devotion can strengthen us to finish the week strong. 

As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? Hebrews 12:7 NLT

No child loves it, and I sure didn’t either.

My parents believed the adage “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” I was never abused, but I was introduced to various measures of discipline. Dad’s black belt was reserved for those times when I was hatefully rebellious—not for little minor mistakes. Often, however, the discipline was taking something away: television privileges, going outside, a favorite toy, my bicycle, my skateboard. My take-aways may seem unimportant, but they worked just the same. What Mom and Dad took away for a certain period depended on what age I was. And the discipline worked. It got my attention and headed me in a different direction—at least for a time.

First-century Christians had many things to draw them away from God. They faced persecution from foreigners and from relatives who didn’t believe in Jesus and who wanted them to return to the Jewish customs. Idol worship was also rife. When they gave in to any of these things, God sent discipline.

God disciplines me for the same reason my parents did. I’ve gotten off track in some area. The discipline will re-orient me if I don’t ignore it, which God cautions me against doing. God’s discipline has a purpose. It’s not a random act of cruelty. His discipline is not designed to discourage me but to encourage me.

As painful as it might be, God’s discipline reminds me I’m his child. My parents didn’t discipline other parents’ children—unless they had permission. They were only concerned about me because I belonged to them, because my behavior reflected on them, and because they had a mandate from God to do so.

God wants holiness from me. And while I’m that in position through Jesus Christ, I’m not in practice. I often need a little stern yet loving guidance.

How do you respond when God disciplines you?

Prayer: Father, may we endure Your discipline joyfully, knowing You have our best interests at heart. 

Tweetable: How do you respond to God's discipline? 

Thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Help us spread God's encouragement through His Love Lines.

Freedom to Fail or Succeed - Martin Wiles

Therefore, this is what the Lord says: Since you have not obeyed me by setting your countrymen free, I will set you free to be destroyed by war, disease, and famine. Jeremiah 34:17 NLT

I could have done better . . . but I chose not to.

Among the many things my parents did for me was provide the opportunity for a good education. When the public-school systems gave an adequate atmosphere, they sent me there. If we lived in places where the public-school systems lacked a good reputation, they scraped money together and sent me to private schools.

I had a good mindset about education in elementary school, doing my best and striving to get good grades. My middle school journey mimicked elementary—with the exception that peer pressure increased. Pressure to compromise my values. Pressure to do less than my best. After all, those students who scored high on quizzes and tests ruined the curve a teacher might give a class.

By the time high school arrived, I’d lost all interest in school. The wrong kind of friends, followed by the wrong type of actions, took over. My parents continued to goad me to do my best, just as they had in elementary and middle school. I didn’t listen. Regardless of their efforts to push me forward toward a college education, I continued to slide backward with a don’t-care attitude.

My journey in high school led to poor grades and to my eventually quitting. Fortunately, I came to my senses shortly thereafter and returned to graduate. Not until nine years after high school did I finally see the need to attend college. Perhaps I just needed to mature. Maybe I needed an attitude adjustment.

One thing my parents discovered was that they couldn’t force me to do well in school. I had to decide that. God found out the same with His Old Testament people. He had given them the Law, and He had sent prophets to continually remind them of the importance of obeying it. Nevertheless, they continued to wander away from His moral principles, just as I did with my attention to education. Finally, God gave them the freedom to fail in a big way: He allowed a foreign nation to take them captive for seventy years.

God hasn’t changed, nor have His commands and principles. He lays out His expectations and lovingly guides us to obey them. When we fail, He forgives if we ask, and He disciplines if we keep going our own stubborn way. But there comes a point—and no one knows when the point is—when He says, “Okay, do it your way.”

God gave me the freedom to fail in my educational journey, and He’ll do the same in our moral journey. Sometimes, failure is the only thing that brings us to our senses, so we’ll run back to Him. The good news is that He’s always willing to say “I forgive” when we come in faith and repentance.

If you have failed, run back to God. He’s waiting.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the forgiveness You offer when we fail. 

Tweetable: Are you failing or succeeding? 

Thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Help us spread God's encouragement through His Love Lines.