Series: The Things We Say - Forgive and Forget - Martin Wiles

But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15 NLT

If we still remember, we haven’t forgiven. The philosophy behind the phrase, forgive and forget.

After seventeen years—nineteen if you count the dating part--Sarah called it quits. Walked out and left her husband and two kids. She couldn’t explain why she did it, but she did. Maybe it was because she never wanted to be a preacher’s wife in the first place. She had endured for sixteen of their seventeen years together. That seemed more than fair. Now the lifestyle was getting to her. She had wild oats to sow that she’d never had a chance to sow before.

John, her husband, was bitter. He couldn’t believe she would do what she had done. Leave it all—everything they had built together. And leave him with the bills and the kids. He knew what the Bible said about forgiveness—and forgave her. Forgetting was another story. Occasionally, one of his church members would remind him if he didn’t forget he hadn’t forgiven. He wondered how you could consciously forget something.

The Bible, and Jesus particularly, has a lot to say about forgiveness. One thing it doesn’t say is that we have to forget what others have done to us as a part of the forgiveness act. Forgiveness is releasing someone from a debt they owe because of a sin they have committed against me. Period. Forgetting is impossible unless we experience brain damage or contract a brain disease such as dementia or Alzheimer’s.

What we can and must do is stop dwelling on the infraction. In our own power, we can’t even accomplish this, but God’s power in us can. John eventually moved beyond what Sarah had done to him and the family. He never forgot it because he couldn’t, but he no longer sought revenge. Neither did he stew over the situation all the time.

We know we’ve forgiven when we don’t dwell on the injury, when we’re not out for revenge, when we can interact with the person who has offended us if we must, and when we don’t get angry when we think about the injustice committed. We’ll never forget others’ wounds against us, but we can forgive and move on.

Stop trying to forget the infractions others have committed against you. Just forgive.

Father, as you have forgiven me, enable me to forgive others who harm me in various ways.

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