When Rejection Comes - Martin Wiles

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

He was a washed-up shoe salesman caught up in a town gossiping war.

In the Andy Griffith episode, Those Gossipin’ Men, Aunt Bee and a friend sat in the local drug store, enjoying a cool drink on a hot day. While spreading a little gossip among themselves, they were startled when a stranger came in and tried to sell them a pair of shoes. And surprised because he didn’t try extremely hard. In fact, they labeled him as the tamest shoe salesman they’d ever seen. He offered once, they said no, and he went on about his business. Little did he know a gossiping war between the ladies of the town and the men who hung around at Floyd’s Barber Shop would soon engulf him.

Prior to the salesman’s arrival, Andy had come into the drug store to get sulfur powder. Barney had cut his finger while cleaning his pistol. The cut was small, but several hours later, someone called the sheriff’s office to report that Barney had shot himself in the chest and was dead. When Aunt Bee and her friend hurried in to console Andy, they were surprised to see Barney still standing. That’s when Andy accused them of being the biggest gossipers in town.

The tame traveling shoe salesman gave Aunt Bee and her friend an opportunity to prove to Andy that just as much gossip came out of Floyd’s Barber Shop. So, when Andy and Barney asked who the stranger was, the two women planted a seed of doubt in their “conceited” male minds. They told Andy and Barney who the man claimed to be, but then questioned the man’s honesty. He didn’t seem eager to sell shoes.

Initially, Andy dismissed their suspicions and again accused them of spreading gossip. But then, he himself became suspicious. Before long, he and the other men in town had turned a washed-up shoe salesman into a New York City television producer. Soon, he and the other men in town gathered their sons and daughters, ushered them to the man’s hotel room, and had them audition for the traveling salesman. In the process, they buy numerous pairs of shoes—so much so that the failed salesman set a company record for a day’s sales.

The traveling salesman came to town a rejected mess, but left a success. Eliab knew a little about rejection too—as did all young David’s brothers. As they passed before Samuel—the prophet God had sent to their father’s house to select the next king of Israel—they each felt the sting of rejection. And imagine how much more humiliating the experience when they discovered God had chosen their younger sheep-tending brother.

Rejection in life is inevitable. We’ll be turned down for promotions, teams, dates, marriage proposals, jobs, projects, clubs, community organizations, assignments, book publishing. And we cannot deny that rejection hurts. Acceptance is one of our basic needs, but not every person will accept us. Nor will everything we attempt to do gain acceptance.

The good news is that while others may reject us or things we propose, God never will. God selected David because He knew David was a boy (and would later be a man) after God’s own heart. In that respect, nothing has changed. God accepts every person who wants to love and serve Him. No turning away. No turning down.

Life teaches us—often the hard way—that rejection is a part of our existence. But not as it relates to our walk with God. He always walks by our side. Nothing we do will drive Him away. Nothing we face will be so intense that He can’t walk us through it. And He will love and accept us…no matter what. Now and throughout eternity.

Let God’s acceptance bring you the comfort you need when others reject you or something you’ve done.

Father, I thank You for Your eternal love that never turns away those who come to You.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Road of No Return - Martin Wiles

For soon I must go down that road from which I will never return. Job 16:22 NLT

Roads are as different as people.

I’ve driven down mountain roads that twist and turn. Other roads are as straight as an arrow. Long stretches reach into the distance, and one can see for miles on end. Then there are the more common roads peppered with potholes.

Not so long ago, I saw something new: variegated roads. Their appearance is explained by the cost-saving efforts of local highway departments. Instead of re-asphalting the entire road, the workers simply fill in the cracks, leaving an odd appearance.

And I’ve traveled on roads where towns are separated by many miles and on others where I encounter a town every few miles.

But never have I traveled a road from which there was no return—a road that disappeared from behind me as I traveled it. Every road I’ve ever been on, I could turn around and go back the same way I came. Job, however, introduces a road of no return. 

Job’s road of no return was death. Once he traversed it, he could not return. Nor can we. And we can’t escape traveling it either. While driving, we can typically avoid certain roads by taking an alternate route. Not so with death. Unless we’re alive when Jesus returns, we will travel death’s highway.

When we travel this road, we can’t take anyone or anything along. No possessions or family members. No stocks or bonds. Or play toys. Not even our body. Our immortal soul is the only thing we’ll take. The real us. We won’t enter into soul sleep nor will we be annihilated.

The destination of this road is one of two places: heaven or hell. Which destination we reach is our choice—a choice made while we’re alive. What we do with Jesus in life doesn’t determine whether or not we travel the road of no return, but it does determine our final destination.

Once we’ve traveled the road of no return, we can’t come back to warn others about where we’ve ended up or to encourage them to visit where we are. Our chances of telling others about heaven and hell are over.

We have no choice but to travel the road of no return, but we can choose where the road takes us. Think about where your road is taking you.

Father, I thank You that the road of no return leads to an eternity with You when I make the proper preparations.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

 

How Not to Be a Miserable Comforter - Martin Wiles

I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! Job 16:2 NLT

When others share their painful situations, I’m sometimes a miserable comforter. Whether I ask them or not, I wonder what gruesome sin they have committed that has resulted in their dire straits. Or worse yet, I’ve uttered some infamous statements: “I know how you feel,” or “Let me know if you need anything.” Then I walk off, end the text, or tap the end button on my smartphone, never to check on them again. 

Job’s situation was almost beyond description. He lost roughly everything he had. The comfort his friends gave consisted of “You have sinned against God. You need to confess.” Job’s wife told him to curse God and die. In the midst of excruciating circumstances, Job received a large dose of miserable comfort.

If we want to avoid being miserable comforters, we must show understanding. Perhaps the person we’re comforting has sinned and is suffering the consequences. Remembering that we’re not above sin enables us to provide proper comfort. Since no one is perfect, no one is beyond any particular sinful act. Often, as in Job’s case, the painful situation is through no fault of the sufferer. Suffering can merely be a consequence of living in a fallen world.

Good comforters listen. Miserable comforters do all the talking. Those passing through troubled waters may need to vent. We should let them without judging. Venting can be a part of the healing process.

Miserable comforters don’t pray with the person who is hurting. Good comforters do. Not prayers of pomposity but sincere prayers for the person who is suffering that God would grant them comfort, wisdom, and guidance.

Good comforters aren’t afraid to cry with the one who is suffering. Shedding tears with them is one way to help them carry their burden.

Miserable comforters use clichés and religious platitudes; good comforters avoid them. The one suffering doesn’t need to hear, “Time heals all wounds,” “I know how you feel,” or “God just needed another angel in heaven.” Clichés and holier-than-thou attitudes—even when given sincerely—won’t help the one who needs comfort.

And when the timing is right, sharing comfort from God’s Word is always appropriate. Job’s friends tried this, but their interpretations were wrong.

Think of steps you can take to avoid being a miserable comforter.

Father, help me share with others the type of comfort You give me when I am hurting.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Banana Pudding

 

Ingredients

6 Bananas

1 large box of Vanilla Instant Pudding

1 can of Sweetened Condensed Milk

1 large tub of Cool Whip

3 cups of whole milk

8 ounces of sour cream

1 box of Vanilla Wafers 

Directions

Mix pudding and whole milk.

Add Sweetened Condensed Milk and fold in Cool Whip and sour cream.

In a bowl, layer bananas and vanilla wafers.

Pour pudding on top. 

Refrigerate. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Stopping for a Recharge - Martin Wiles

Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat. Mark 6:31 NLT

After two hours, she heads for her docking station to recharge.

The COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 put millions out of work. The government issued stimulus checks to individuals and families to stimulate the economy. Yes, they wanted us to use the money to help pay our bills, but they also hoped we’d spend some for unnecessary things to jump-start the economy.

And my wife had an idea about how we could use some of ours to contribute. She had had her eye on a robotic vacuum cleaner before COVID hit. Not the one that costs $500, but a cheaper version sold by America’s favorite retailer. I had ignored her hints for months, but now, since we had extra money—and since Mother’s Day happened to come along simultaneously—I gave her the okay to order one.

Having both grown up when The Jetsons’ was a popular kids’ show, we decided to name our new addition Rosie—after the household robot the Jetsons owned. My wife loves Rosie. I suppose because my wife is the one who does the sweeping and vacuuming. I, on the other hand, tolerate her. She’s a little noisy, and she always seems to be cleaning in the exact spot where I need to walk.

Not being the most expensive kind of robot. Rosie can’t map out our house, so she plunders around from room to room until her battery drains. When I hear her noise level lower, I know she’ll soon be heading for her recharging dock. I must admit, I’m amazed she knows when she needs a recharge—when things are about to stop working if she doesn’t do something. Like a heat-guided missile, she aims for the recharge station, where she stays until we press the “clean” button again.

What builders have programmed Rosie to know, Jesus also knew: we need time to relax. Crowds regularly thronged Jesus and His disciples. So much so that they didn’t even have time to eat on this one occasion. Jesus invited them to join Him in leaving the crowds—and the work—so they could rest. In His earthly body, even Jesus needed downtime.

God demonstrated the need for rest at the beginning of time by resting for a day after He had created. God, of course, is God and didn’t need physical rest. Instead, He gave an example. Later, when issuing the commands to Moses, God designated one day as the Sabbath and instructed the listeners to rest and worship on that day. After Jesus’ resurrection, early believers changed the day of worship from Saturday to Sunday. But the day is not as important as the ideas behind it. We need downtime, and we need worship time.

God did not create our bodies with the capacity to run continuously without rest, which includes more than getting adequate sleep. Jesus and His disciples may have slept during their rest time—perhaps they even took a power nap—but they more likely just relaxed.

My grandmother once warned me I was burning the candle at both ends and setting myself up for trouble. She was right. Not long afterward, I contracted a bleeding ulcer. A week in the hospital gave me time to rest and reflect.

Without proper rest—including sleep and downtime—our bodies break down, and things go haywire. We can also become legalistic about the one-day worship thing and forget that our worship can occur anywhere, but should occur daily.

God has work for us, and taking care of our bodies properly allows us to do His work and do it for a longer period than we could if we didn’t nurture our bodies. Our world is a busy place. To get the proper rest requires following Jesus’ example. He determined to rest, planned to incorporate it into His schedule, and then did it. He didn’t let the crowds—or their needs—stop Him. He knew the benefits of rest would far outweigh what the crowds perceived as urgent needs. Rest would allow Him and His disciples to do more later, and for a longer period.

God didn’t create our bodies to run continuously. Plan to incorporate rest into your daily schedule.

Father, guide me to those times when I can rest and reflect on my priorities and my relationship with You. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Moving Beyond Betrayal - Martin Wiles

Then David sent for her (Bathsheba), and when she came to the palace, he slept with her. 2 Samuel 11:4 NLT

“I’ve had an affair.”  

Though statistics reveal that most marriages don’t survive unfaithfulness, it doesn’t have to drive the final nail into the coffin. Moving beyond betrayal and saving a marriage is entirely possible. When unfaithfulness occurs, the betrayed must ask and answer several questions.

Is forgiving the right thing to do?

From God’s perspective, forgiveness is always appropriate. Although it may seem impossible, forgiveness should be immediate. As God forgives us when we commit sins against Him, so we must forgive others. His forgiveness is tied to our forgiveness of others (Matthew 6:14-15).

While we can’t forgive in our own power, we can with God’s. Forgiveness may have to be repeated numerous times. The betrayer might not deserve forgiveness, but forgiving is more for our benefit than for theirs. If the betrayer has confessed, expressed sorrow, asked for forgiveness, and reiterated their love, they have shown the signs of true repentance.

What does God want me to do?

God hates divorce; He wants marriages to last. Sometimes, it’s impossible, but many that fail could be saved. While God permits divorce on the grounds of adultery, He never insists that divorce must take place. That—like unfaithfulness—is a choice. Partners willing to work diligently can experience a stronger marriage on the other side of unfaithfulness.

Can I live with my betrayer without trusting them?

Forgiveness and trust aren’t identical. We can forgive without trusting. Trust is like a credit rating. One unwise decision can affect both. And like a credit rating, trust takes years to fully bloom. The question is whether the betrayer is doing their best to restore trust in the marriage.

Do I have to know all the details?

When betrayal happens, adverb questions are common: how, when, where, how often, to what extent, why, and under what conditions. Knowing more makes it more difficult to forgive and re-establish trust. Settle for the simple fact that they have betrayed.

Can I live with my betrayer without bringing up the incident again?

Re-hashing the incident impedes healing. So does assigning blame. We must parrot God, who doesn’t keep bringing up our sins.

What about my spouse initially led me to love them?

Build up the betrayer through prayer and encouragement. Love them unconditionally. Remember, none of us are beyond sin—betrayal included.

Keeping a marriage intact in the face of betrayal is possible. Let God move you beyond betrayal.

Father, help me to forgive those who betray me even as You forgive me when I betray You through sinful acts. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

When Darkness Closes In - Martin Wiles

A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the den. The king sealed the stone with his own royal seal and the seals of his nobles. Daniel 6:17 NLT

Total darkness frightens me.

My wife and I drive away total darkness in our home by placing night lights at selective places. One in the bathroom allows us to see how to use the facilities at night without turning on a lamp or overhead light. Night lights in the den keep our animals satisfied.

But total darkness didn’t seem to bother Daniel. Jealousy drove his enemies to arrange a deal with the king, which resulted in Daniel being thrown to the lions. Reading his story in the Bible can mask how dark this experience truly was. No overhead lights or oil lamps decorated the den. Daniel sat, stood, or lay in total darkness. He heard the lions pacing and roaring. He probably smelled their wild scent but never saw how closely they approached him.

The trials and tribulations of life can bring what appears to be total darkness. I’ve experienced quite a few such periods. This much I know: total darkness never indicates God’s absence. Our sin or God’s testing may have ushered in the darkness, but God never leaves our side regardless of the cause of the darkness. He is still working. If we’ve sinned, we need to confess and repent. If He is testing us, we need to develop our trust in Him to do the right thing.

In periods of total darkness, God can and often does feel nearer. Darkness reminds us that we control nothing. God does. His ways are higher, and His thoughts are beyond our understanding. He is the creator and controller. Our duty is to walk by faith.

Daniel was in darkness because of the work of his enemies. Satan can bring periods of darkness. The Bible compares him to a prowling lion. Daniel’s episode reminds us God has the power to close his mouth. Satan is on God’s leash and can only do what he is allowed to do. God commands the darkness.

When our periods of darkness are over, we need to help someone else understand God’s power and compassion. Daniel witnessed to the king about his God. God doesn’t want us to waste our experiences but rather to use them to help someone else.

When your periods of darkness creep in, remember who controls them.

Father, when periods of darkness come, I ask You to shine Your light around them.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Banana Nut Bread

 

 

Ingredients

2 1/3 CUP BISQUICK MIX

1/3 CUP VEGETABLE OIL

1 TEASPOON VANILLA

1 ½ CUP MASHED BANANAS

½ CUP PECANS (CHOPPED)

1 CUP SUGAR

3 EGGS

Directions

STIR ALL INGREDIENTS TOGETHER AND BLEND WELL.

BAKE IN A GREASED 9 X 13 PAN OR A LOAF PAN.

BAKE AT 350 FOR 40 TO 45 MINUTES.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Not about Me - Martin Wiles

If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? 1 John 3:17 NLT

Opportunities abounded. All we had to do was walk a few feet.

My wife and I lived in a small patio townhome community. Many of the residents were senior adults, many of whom were widowed. My wife—the one in our marriage with the more sensitive heart—discovered numerous ways for us to help them.

Two of the neighbors—one widowed and one not—needed their grass cut. While the homeowners’ association paid someone to landscape the front area of the townhomes, the small back yards were the owners’ or renters’ responsibility. When these two asked if I’d cut their back yards, I said, “Sure.” I didn’t have a lawnmower, but I didn’t need one. The yards are so small a weed eater worked fine. Fifteen minutes was all I needed to finish a yard.

One of these neighbors also watched her husband have several strokes, leaving him unable to walk, tend to himself, and eat solid food. My wife loves to cook—large meals. And sharing our food with neighbors was her way of showing love. After taking a meal to this neighbor, the neighbor asked her if she’d be willing to cook a meal a day for her. Of course, my wife couldn’t resist. Our neighbor became a good friend—with a full stomach. In addition to taking her food and cutting her grass, we checked on her almost daily to see if she needed anything from the store and to see how her husband was doing.

The other of the two neighbors also received some of our food occasionally. She also asked my wife to fix things she had messed up on her smart phone. And any little odd job around the house she needed doing, she called me. In addition to cutting her grass, I sprayed her weeds, put out Snake Away when she saw a snake, lifted bags of mulch when she decided to do more landscaping, helped her move a piece of furniture, changed her house filters, and anything else she asked.

A third neighbor lived across from us. She, too, was a widow, but, unlike the other two, had no children to help her. When she went to the post office, she asked if we needed her to take anything. Sometimes, she invited my wife over to see her flowers. If we went off for a few days, I asked her to watch the outside of our house. And since she was a neighbor to the other neighbor who hated snakes, I sprinkled some Snake Away in her yard, too.

All small acts of kindness, but love nevertheless. As Christians, we proclaim our love for others, but John says if that’s all we do we haven’t done much. Nor have we shown actual love. We must match actions with words.

I’ve found God will more likely send opportunities to be neighborly if we ask Him. But busyness often consumes our schedules, so we also have to pray for spiritual eyes to see those opportunities when He sends them. Otherwise, we’ll miss them every time.

Sometimes, the neighbors’ requests came when I had other things on my agenda. If I wasn’t careful, I found myself complaining when I should have been thankful for the opportunities. A regular check on our attitude always proves appropriate. God loves a joyful giver, whether the giving is monetary or otherwise.

Life is not all about us. In fact, it is about God and others, and the sooner we discover this the happier we’ll be and the more fulfilled life we’ll live.

Think of ways to show a neighbor some love.

Father, I ask for opportunities to demonstrate Your love to others.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Tutored by God - Martin Wiles

The law was our guardian (tutor) and teacher to lead us until Christ came. So now, through faith in Christ, we are made right with God. Galatians 3:24 NLT

Tutoring isn’t usually initiated by students. And it wasn’t in my case.

Parents who observed their children struggling in grammar class approached me about giving their child extra help. Tutoring comes in several varieties. Some children need remedial tutoring. They haven’t grasped concepts learned in an earlier grade, making it difficult or impossible for them to keep up in their current grade. Others just need extra help understanding current concepts. A little one-on-one time with a tutor is all many children need to scale the hump. And then there’s the rare occasion when a student wants to get ahead of the class. This tutoring involves introducing concepts that would normally be introduced later in the year or even the next year. On whatever level of tutoring a child stands, teaching and understanding are the goals.

Paul considered God’s Old Testament law a tutor. God’s law was designed to guard or tutor until Christ fulfilled it. The sacrificial system tutored the people about the concept of the innocent being sacrificed for the guilty. Animals were slain during the Old Testament period, but Christ was slain in the New.

Now that Christ has fulfilled the law, God’s Spirit is the new tutor. Jesus said if He went away He would send a Comforter, the Holy Spirit. He is our tutor who guides, teaches, encourages, and comforts us. All traits of a good tutor.

God’s Spirit tutors the lost by introducing them to the way of salvation. He often uses people as the means to do that. After we’ve trusted Christ as our Savior, we should tutor others in the way of salvation. This tutoring can be accomplished by praying for the lost, being prepared to witness when the opportunity arises, taking training courses in how to witness, and by being sensitive to witnessing opportunities.

God’s Spirit tutors believers by guiding them to understand God’s truth as revealed in His Word, by teaching them how to apply that Word to everyday situations and circumstances, encouraging them to pick themselves up and try again when they fail, and comforting them in times of failure, sorrow, and grief.

Tutors have been trained in the material they teach. Believers have been tutored by God so they might become tutors as well. Make sure to tutor those God sends your way.

Father, thank You for the tutoring of Your Spirit. May I take what I learn and use it to tutor others.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.