Refined by Sorrow - Martin Wiles

Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. Ecclesiastes 7:3 NLT

Never had I witnessed refined by sorrow in such a drastic manner.

When times of deep sorrow strike, many choose the road of bitterness toward God. “If God’s as good as you claim, why did …,” they ask. And I’ve wondered the same thing when traveling roads of sorrow. Not James. He and his wife rarely attended church. Only through the grapevine did I learn they were facing marital challenges.

Late one evening, I received a call about a wreck involving James’ wife and child. His wife and infant son had been in a wreck. The wife was banged up and in shock, but the child was dead.

Following the funeral and several days of intense grieving, James began attending church regularly. Actually, every time the doors opened. Soon, he walked the aisle, recommitted his life to Christ, and requested baptism. He continued to grow spiritually and, within a year of the accident, served as a deacon in the church. Sorrow had refined him.

What wise King Solomon says seems ludicrous. Who in their right mind would rather have sorrow than laughter? But his conclusion is accurate: sadness has a refining influence.

Periods of sorrow remind me I have little, if any, jurisdiction over most of what happens to me. In hindsight, I see how I could have changed the course of some of my travels, but most were outside my control.

Knowing God has a determinative and permissive will helps. Some things will happen because he determines they will, while others occur because he permits them—even though they aren’t in his perfect plan. Understanding this requires faith and our admitting that we can’t always understand God’s ways. They are higher than our ways.

But if we respond correctly, sorrow will refine our relationship with God by moving us closer to him. Knowing he’s in control will replace worry and anxiety. We’ll plunge deeply into his Word and run to him through prayer. Sorrow can also foster greater perseverance and patience. After all, we have a hope unbelievers don’t.

Don’t let the sorrow that comes from living in a sinful world depress you. God loves you and controls your life events. If you let him, he will refine you through sorrow.

Father, when times of sorrow encroach upon my life, help me trust you to use them as refining tools that will enable me to grow spiritually. 

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