To Forgive or Not to Forgive - Martin Wiles

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

To forgive or not to forgive, that is life’s dilemma.

Mickey had faced a lot in life. He’d had to forgive his first wife for walking out on him. So he wasn’t prepared for the words his second wife whispered one night in their bedroom: “I don’t love you anymore.” 

Mickey’s world also crumbled when he learned his wife had been unfaithful. Containing his anger took every ounce of energy he had. When his wife finally walked out, forgiveness was the last thing on his mind. When it became clear the marriage was not salvageable, he had to choose: forgive her and move on, or resent her and be miserable. 

God’s choice was similar. He created humans, placed them in a garden where all their needs were met, and gave them one prohibition. Shortly thereafter, they failed the test. He could assign them and their descendants a murky future or forgive them and provide a way for reconciliation. He chose the latter and made a path of reclamation that was foreshadowed by the skins he secured to cover their nakedness.

Thousands of years later, Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice that those first animal skins had symbolized. But why couldn’t God simply forgive without the gruesome suffering the cross demonstrated? The answer lies in the association between forgiveness and suffering. The first always entails the second.

Choosing to forgive entails suffering. If someone wrongs us and we choose not to forgive, resentment, hatred, anger, and plans for revenge will assume the place of forgiveness. We may think refusing to forgive hurts the other person, but we’re the one who suffers. Doing the opposite, forgiving, also involves suffering. 

Our willingness to forgive automatically brings suffering because we release someone from a debt they owe us for a wrong they’ve committed against us. Doing so goes against our human nature and brings pain. Jesus showed how to do it well. God allowed him to take on our sin so we could receive his righteousness. When we forgive others, we assume the pain they deserve to endure for hurting us. 

God forgave because he loves. He gives us the power to do the same. Let Him teach you how to forgive those who’ve wronged you. Failing to forgive leads to a life of misery.

Father, give me the grace and strength to follow your example of forgiveness. 

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