“I remember when
you used to…”
Anytime I hear
my wife say the above, I know she will follow it with something I once did but
don’t anymore—things like opening the door for her when she’s getting in the
car or entering a store or coming up behind her and putting my arms around her
neck while we’re shopping.
My wife has a
memory like an elephant and recalls many things I’ve long forgotten. Among them
is how our relationship was when we first married. I tell her our relationship
has matured. She thinks, Now that you’ve got me, you think you don’t need to
do those things anymore. We’re probably both right to a degree, but we must
work to maintain healthy relationships.
Paul gives a
list of instructions for husbands and wives. Some women don’t like the
submission part, while some husbands take issue with loving their wives enough
to die for them. But Paul prefaces the instructions with a command for mutual
submission. Doing this requires building blocks.
Mutual love and
submission entail intentionality. If I’m not intentional or determined to love
my wife as Christ loved the church or to submit to her as I desire her to
submit to me, it won’t happen. Anything important requires our undivided
attention.
Thoughtful words
and actions are essential. My wife loves to hear me tell her I love her, but
she wants to see love in action. Holding her hand, opening a car door, giving
her a card, kissing her first thing in the morning—all little things that mean
a lot.
Honesty is also
critical. Dishonesty will wreck any marriage or relationship. I know. I’ve been
on the receiving end of dishonesty, and it leads to a dead end. We build trust
in small ways over many years, but one wrong move can destroy what it took
years to build.
Additionally,
faithfulness is a must for healthy relationships. It follows on the heels of
honesty. In the marriage ceremony, I promised to be faithful to my one wife
until death parts us. No good reason exists to break that promise as long as
I’m in the relationship.
Yet, more
important than any other block is including God. Relationships that exclude him
are headed for failure from the start.
Use the correct
building blocks to erect healthy relationships in your life.
Father, give me
wisdom to build healthy relationships with those you send into my life.
I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.
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