How to Love the Overlooked and Forgotten - Martin Wiles

But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. Matthew10:29 NLT

The peeping alerted me that something was amiss.

A mother bluebird had hatched several nestlings in a birdhouse outside my office window. As I worked, I enjoyed hearing their peeps as the mother and father bird made numerous trips to feed their young.

But on one day, the peeping differed. I looked outside, thinking the babies had flown the coup. And they had, except one who languished on the cement porch. I quickly scooped up the hatchling and returned it to the nest. But mom and dad never returned. I saw them flitting around in the yard, but they ignored the peeps of the abandoned baby. Although I tried feeding it insects, it was dead when I arrived for work the next day.

In warning his followers about the persecution on their horizon, Jesus reminded them that not even a sparrow falls without his knowledge. He loves the least. I thought of the verse when I opened the birdhouse and saw the dead baby. My heart broke as I realized sin was the reason this scenario had gone awry. God didn’t want the nestling to die.

Loving the least is rarely easy. I thought of the Andy Griffith episode where Andy’s son, Opie, adopted a nest full of baby birds and nurtured them until they were ready to fly. His attempt succeeded; mine failed. But at least I made the effort.

Although animals aren’t created in the likeness of God as people are, and though they don’t have immortal souls as humans do, they are still a part of God’s creation, which he expects us to care for. Many years ago, God entrusted Adam and Eve with the care of his creation. His instructions to them have been passed to all earthly inhabitants.

But loving the least extends beyond animals and the environment to people as well. We are God’s highest creation, made in his image. It may be easier to hobnob with those in places of importance who can scratch our back in return, but God wants us to love the least, too. Those in dire straits. Those who can’t fend for themselves. Those to whom life has handed a tough hand of cards.

Learn to love the least, not just those who can help you in return.

Father, create in my heart a love for all people and for everything you have created.

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Feeling Forgotten - Martin Wiles

Suddenly, the angel of the LORD appeared to him as a blazing fire in a bush. Exodus 3:2 NLT

The deed had been done, as ugly as it was, and now I was feeling forgotten.

Marital breakups are never easy. No matter who’s at fault, the breakup can leave each partner feeling forgotten. Mine did. My aloneness was intensified when many of my professional friends suddenly left as well. Perhaps they didn’t know how to respond. Maybe they thought I needed time to gather my thoughts. Some may have been embarrassed to associate with me since our profession looked unfavorably on divorce. Only one or two checked to see how I was doing. 

I suppose Moses felt the same. When he killed an Egyptian who was beating one of his fellow countrymen, I imagine he thought he was doing the right thing. But when the king discovered the murder and placed a death sentence on him, he knew differently. Fleeing to the desert, he met a priest, married his daughter, and spent the next forty years tending sheep. In a split second, Moses went from the palace to the poorhouse and from being surrounded by hundreds of people to living with sheep.

When feeling forgotten, I try to remember that feelings don’t always mimic reality. Moses had a spouse, children, a father-in-law, and neighboring shepherds. I had community and church friends. I felt forgotten because my situation in life had changed, and because a few had chosen to cool our friendship.

But even if others forsake us, God never will. He didn’t leave Moses, and he didn’t leave me when my spouse did. He was as close as he had always been. The feelings of loneliness merely kept me from feeling his presence.

Though my situation made it difficult, I tried to surround myself with spiritual encouragers. People who would remind me of God’s promises, who would call periodically and check on me, and who would hug me and tell me everything would be okay. These people forged friendships that I still cherish today, many years after I felt forgotten.

When you pass through times that make you feel forgotten, remember God is always near.

Father, when I feel forgotten by others, remind me you always walk by my side. 

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A Proper Thanksgiving - Martin Wiles

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

Call me a sentimentalist, but I have my own ideas of what constitutes a proper Thanksgiving.

I remember the good ole’ days when we gathered at my grandmothers’ houses to celebrate the holidays, Thanksgiving among them. My paternal grandmother and grandfather had only two children: my father and his sister. Mom and Dad had three boys, and my aunt had a boy and a girl.

We all gathered at my grandparent’s house on Thanksgiving Day to celebrate. The kids sat around the kitchen table while the adults assembled in the dining room. And I remember when I reached that milestone and could graduate to the dining room table to eat with the adults.

My grandfather was a ham man and always cooked and sliced the ham. I don’t remember us celebrating with turkey, but my grandmother provided the trimmings. When we finished, we milled around doing various things: sitting and talking in the living room, watching a ball game on television, and playing in the fenced-in backyard.

We said our goodbyes around midday and drove thirty miles down the road to my maternal grandparents’ farm. Here, we repeated the same procedure. Mom had one sister who had three children. They lived fifty yards away, so getting to Grandma’s house required no driving for them.

But that was then, and this is now. I thought things had changed, but after talking with my middle brother, I guess they haven’t changed as much as I thought. All three of us brothers are now grandfathers and gather with our children and grandchildren on Thanksgiving and other holidays.

Still, I would love to add the great-grandparent level and see everyone gather at my mom’s house. I miss the part where we gather at the person’s house who stands the furthest back in our genealogical line. 

But really, a proper Thanksgiving includes much more than family gatherings. Paul encapsulates it in this one verse: give thanks to God in all circumstances. He wrote this long before anyone proclaimed a Thanksgiving holiday in America or any other country.

The holidays can be difficult. We miss the gatherings. We miss the ones who once gathered with us. Death is the lifetime thief that no law enforcement officer can capture. And times can get tough when circumstances come against us.

But circumstances should not determine our thanksgiving or joy. Regardless of our circumstances, we can know God is in control, loves us, blesses us, works all things together for our good, has mercy that endures forever, and has an eternity planned for us—all things to be thankful for, whether our Thanksgiving gatherings look like the ones we long for.

So on this Thanksgiving, observe a proper Thanksgiving.

Father, help me always to remember to thank you in all circumstances and at all times.

Tweetable: What Thanksgiving memories do you have? 

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Feeling Forsaken - Martin Wiles

My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me? Psalm 22:1 NLT

Feeling forsaken can make it appear that life’s caving in.

I’ve always thought that of all people who should stand shoulder to shoulder in tough times, it should be family. Recently, a particular family member had the means to help my wife and me through a difficult financial period but chose not to. I felt forsaken … actually angry.

Examples of feeling forsaken are rife. Thousands of children feel forsaken by parents who abandon them. Perhaps they couldn’t afford to raise them or didn’t want to. Forsaken spouses join their multitude. Spouses have walked out on them for someone else because they don’t love them anymore or because they are tired of marriage. Even friends sometimes forsake friends. And there’s just something about tragedies that leaves us feeling forsaken too.

The psalmist doesn’t give the reason he feels forsaken. Maybe he was just writing Hebrew poetry he knew people could identify with for thousands of years to come. I have a feeling, though, that someone had forsaken him or some difficulty had assaulted him. Because of it, he imagined God had also.

When hard times strike, it’s easy to think God has abandoned us. When others forsake us, it’s easy to transfer our feelings of abandonment to God as well. Staking our faith in what the Bible teaches is essential when we feel forsaken, and the Bible says God will never leave us. Others might, but He won’t. Regardless of how we might treat Him, He’ll never leave. He’s the only friend we can find who we can say that about with confidence.

When I feel forsaken, I remember how easy it is to confuse feelings with reality. Feelings change often within the same day and even the same minute. How we feel may or may not reflect reality. If we feel forsaken by God, our feelings never mimic reality. God is forever by our sides to comfort, guide, and instruct. When others walk out, He stands nearby.

When we feel forsaken by others—and particularly God—we must depend on our faith, not feelings. Our relationship with God is built on truths and realities, not feelings. Walking by faith helps us experience His presence even when we don’t feel it.

When you’re feeling forsaken, remember God will never abandon you.

Father, I thank You for always being by my side in good times and bad. 

Tweetable: Are you feeling forsaken? 

I invite you to try my newest book, Grits, Grace, and Grands, in eBook or paperback. If you are a grandparent, parent, or someone who just wants to learn something from grandparents, this is the book for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Never Forsaken - Martin Wiles

My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me? Why do you remain so distant? Why do you ignore my cries for help? Psalm 22:1 NLT

I had a few chickens and a couple of ducks; why not add a goat?

The call came from a church member: “I have a goat whose mother won’t nurse her. Would you like to have her?

“Sure, why not,” I said. I’d bottle-fed a pig some years earlier. Why not try a goat?

We made her a bed in our utility shed. Unlike the rest of the family, my schedule was flexible, so feeding her fell to me: morning, noon, evening, before bed, and once in the middle of the night. After weaning her, I placed her in the pen with the chickens and ducks. She was more of a pet than a farm animal. Gracie discovered that being forsaken by her mom didn’t mean everyone would abandon her.

Why the psalmist felt forsaken and penned this psalm, I’m not sure. But Jesus used the same words while hanging on the cross, dying for the sins of humanity. He said it because He was bearing the total weight of the world’s sins. Being the holy God He is, His heavenly Father had to turn away at that moment. How the Divine could turn from the Divine is unexplainable, but it was only momentary. When Jesus completed the deed, God accepted what His Son had accomplished, raised Him from a grave, and received Him back into heaven.

I’ve felt the pains of being forsaken by others: peers who thought I was different and didn’t want anything to do with me, work associates who thought I attended to my responsibilities too intricately, church members who didn’t like the changes I suggested, and others who were turned off by my faith stand.

Being forsaken happens in life. But although others forsake us for various reasons, God will only do so for one reason: unbelief. Even then, He continues to prick our consciences with His Spirit, desiring that we repent of our sins and trust Him.

As His child, He’ll never turn His back on us. Even when we’re unfaithful to Him, He’ll be faithful to us. He made the promise that He’ll never leave or forsake us. And we can depend on His word.

Gracie may have felt forsaken, but she wasn’t. We may feel God has turned His back on us, but He never does.

Father, I thank You that I can always be sure You are by my side. 

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Better Together - Tranece Harris

Two people are better than one, because they can reap more benefit from their labor. For if they fall, one will help his companion up, but pity the person who falls down and has no one to help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NET

Feelings of defeat and hopelessness overtook me as life’s circumstances proceeded to kick me in the side and punch me in the gut.

I sat paralyzed in my office chair, allowing rivers of tears to stream down my face. I threatened to call someone but convinced myself no one would understand. How could I live in a community of like-minded believers, yet feel isolated and alone? As I reflected, reality sank in. My loneliness was a self-inflicted wound. My assumptions and lack of healthy conflict resolution caused me to convince myself that relationships were too much work. There I sat in the desert, left to face the hardest person I had ever faced—me.

Metaphorically, I felt battered, bruised, and broken and wanted to scream out to the Father and ask Him why He had forsaken me. But at that moment, something clicked, and I felt closer to my Savior than ever before. If no one else could relate to my emotions or understand my circumstances, Jesus certainly could.

I attempted to peel myself from my desk chair to no avail, justifying my withdrawal by verbally reminding myself that Jesus was all I needed. I pictured a hollow chocolate Easter bunny—the only image I could produce to convey my feelings. Isolation proved more difficult than fellowship.

King Solomon explained that we all fall and need encouragement from fellow believers, but we must connect to the body of Christ to get it. We can accomplish more working together than on our own. Even if we think no one can relate to our situation, we may be surprised at how many others experience something similar. Exposure to others provides varying perspectives and new insights.

We were not meant to go through life alone. We are relational beings, meant for fellowship with like-minded Christ followers. Realizing we need others evidences spiritual growth and maturation, not weakness.

What are some ways you can encourage others?

Tweetable: Are you feeling down in the dumps? 

Tranece Harris is pursuing a M.A. in Christian Education at Dallas Theological Seminary. She serves as the president of the ARISE Women Student Fellowship at DTS and works as an admissions counselor. Upon graduation, Tranece plans to start her own nonprofit to offer life coaching to women at no cost. She wants to help women discover their God-given purpose, identify their unique design, and realize their self-worth. She and her husband, Terrence, serve as spiritual growth facilitators. When Tranece is not studying or working, she spends time with her three beautiful daughters, Thalia Faith, Tianna Grace, and Tamara Peace.

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Shunned - Martin Wiles

As you know, everyone from the province of Asia has deserted me—even Phygelus and Hermogenes. 2 Timothy 1:15 NLT

I knew I would be shunned before I ever was.

No one enjoys being shunned. I know. I received my share of it growing up. Though a healthy nine pounds plus when I was born, I soon lost my robust physique and traded it for a skinny frame. So thin, in fact, I was shunned because of it, beginning in elementary age and extending through high school. When teams were picked for neighborhood ball games, I was always the last to be selected. The same held true when choosing sides for dodgeball during physical education class at school. I had no perceived athletic abilities the team captain thought would enhance his team.

Paul knew what it was like to be shunned too. He was hounded by those who couldn’t stand that he preached about Jesus Christ being raised from the dead. And he had a thorn in the flesh that led some to look at him with disdain. Perhaps it was his appearance. Phygelus and Hermogenes were only two who shunned him. John Mark did it earlier, and others would later.

Though shunned by others, Paul was convinced of one thing: nothing could separate him from God’s love. Neither people nor unpleasant events could change the fact that God loved him and had forgiven his sins.

I’ve experienced several shunnings since childhood. Sometimes, I’ve been able to fix the rift; at other times, the rift has been unmendable. 

Regardless of others’ opinions or actions, God’s view of me never changes. He loves me with a steadfast love. I can’t make him love me more than he already does. Nothing I do will cause him to shun me, and nothing can ever separate me from his love. The connection with me, which involved the life of his Son, cost him too much to sever for any reason.

When others shun you because of your appearance, opinions, or faith, remember God loves you unconditionally and forever.

Prayer: Father, thank You for never turning Your back on us despite our faults and failures. 

Tweetable: How do you react when you are shunned? 

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Flashback Friday - Facing Loneliness - Martin Wiles

Facing Loneliness

You have taken away my companions and loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend. Psalm 88:18 NLT

The cloud of loneliness hung heavily above her. She appeared to be out of options.

Sarah* was in her senior years. Her husband had died five years ago. Initially, she enjoyed her independence, but her freedom from responsibility for another soon turned into a sea of loneliness. An empty house, one place setting at the table, a bed with too much space, financial burdens, no one to talk to or scold for not completing her “honey-do” list—it was more than she could endure. When the chance came for her to marry a man she’d known most of her life, she jumped in with both feet. Sadly, Sarah discovered she could be lonely even in a crowd. Read more...

Tweetable: Are you facing loneliness? 

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Feeling Forgotten - Martin Wiles

Pharaoh’s chief cup-bearer, however, forgot all about Joseph, never giving him another thought. Genesis 40:23 NLT

People surround them, but they are still the forgotten.

Thousands of them across the world languish in their personal homes, nursing homes, or assisted living homes. Doctors, nurses, and other residents surround them … but they are forgotten. They are not the sole survivors in their families … but they might as well be. Too many miles. Wrong priorities. Busyness. Unforgiveness. Whatever the reason, their family members stay away or only visit rarely.

Bobbie Smith, a professional caregiver, places the blame on the modern trend of a breakdown in extended family relationships. Family units have spread across the country, separating grandparents from grandchildren—and causing many of the elderly to feel pushed to the side and forgotten. Distance makes visiting difficult.

And consequences follow. A University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) study found people 60 and above who feel lonely experienced a forty-five percent increase in their risk of death and a fifty-nine percent greater risk of mental and physical decline (https://www.agingcare.com/articles/loneliness-in-the-elderly-151549.htm).

The following poem expressed the pain of feeling forgotten:

Mask
© Matt

I was once sad and lonely,
Having nobody to comfort me,
So I wore a mask that always smiled,
To hide my feelings behind a lie.

Before long, I had many friends;
With my mask, I was one of them.
But deep inside I still felt empty,
Like I was missing a part of me.

Nobody could hear my cries at night,
For I designed my mask to hide the lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling,
For I designed my mask to be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears,
And behind all the comfort were the fears.
Everything you think you see
Wasn't everything there was to me.

Day by day
I was slowly dying.
I couldn't go on,
There was something missing..

Until now I'm still searching
For the thing that'll stop my crying,
For someone who'll erase my fears,
For the person who'll wipe my tears.

But till then, I'll keep on smiling,
Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing.
Hoping one day I can smile,
Till then, I'll be here...waiting.

(https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-mask-that-always-smiled)

Joseph knew all about being forgotten. Over a period of thirteen years, he experienced being sold by his brothers—who hated him—being falsely accused of sexual improprieties, being imprisoned, and being forgotten by the person whom he’d interpreted a dream for. Perhaps, he even felt forgotten by God. But he wasn’t.

In spite of Joseph’s trials, God never forgot him. In fact, his trials made up a part of God’s sovereign plan to use him and his family. And when the right time arrived, God elevated Joseph to second in command and used him to save his family from a severe famine in their homeland.

Others may forget us—and circumstances may make us feel forgotten—but God never forgets who or where we are. He has a plan for our lives, which may include some tough times, but if we’ll keep the faith He’ll show us just how much He loves us.

If you’re feeling forgotten, turn to the One who never forgets anyone.

Prayer: Father, when we feel forgotten, help us remember You never forget us.

Tweetable: Are you feeling forgotten? 

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Never Forgotten - Martin Wiles

Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us; the Lord has forgotten us.” Isaiah 49:14 NLT

How am I supposed to get my message across when others keep forgetting?

In an article entitled, “Brain Science: The Forgetting Curve–the Dirty Secret of Corporate Training,” Art Kohn shares startling statistics about forgetting. Within one hour, people forget half of what we share with them. Within twenty-four hours, they forget seventy percent, and within a week, they have forgotten ninety percent. Not fun facts when we normally want people to remember what we tell them—especially if it’s important.

While later in life forgetting may result from Alzheimer’s or dementia, forgetting during the normal brain functioning period of our lives is … well … normal. Our brains are busy with thousands of sensory inputs during any given day. The brain also has to keep out some sensory input lest it go into overload. Suppressing some information lets us focus on the more important information. The bottom line: our brains need to forget some things so we can zero in on the most important things. (http://ow.ly/bPi630lYAbx)

Israel often felt forgotten by God. Such as when they spent 400 years enslaved to foreigners in Egypt. And then later, another seventy serving the Babylonians. Although they felt as if God had left them—after all, it was their fault because they disobeyed Him—God never had. In his good time, He rescued them and took them back to their Promised Land.

I’m sure glad my brain weeds out some of the unimportant things. I’ve never forgotten God—or my love and obligations to Him—but I have experienced times when I felt as if He had forgotten me. When tough times came and I wondered why He didn’t intervene. When it seemed as if I could barely keep my head above water, but He didn’t reach down and rescue me. Or at least, not quickly enough.

Feelings and reality are different. While I may pass through periods when I feel as if God has forgotten me, He never does. That’s reality. Unconfessed sin can make me experience those feelings—and so can Satan. I have to determine which so I can take the appropriate action.

If you are God’s child, He never forgets you in life and won’t in eternity. Just as He did with Israel, in His good time, He will lead you out of your desert feelings and bring you into your Promised Land.

Remember God never forgets His children.

Prayer: Father, we rejoice in the fact that You never forget us. 

Tweetable: Do you feel forgotten? 

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