Outside In - Martin Wiles

Don’t forget that you Gentiles used to be outsiders. Ephesians 2:11 NLT

Sometimes, we must live without others’ acceptance--outside in. 

My family and I were always outsiders. Not because we were weird, unsociable, or had bad habits but because we hadn’t been born and raised in the town where my father pastored. Most others in the church were lifelong residents and related. Oh, we were loved and appreciated, but if it came down to it, they would forego our preferences because we were outsiders. Blood was thicker than water.

As a pastor, my family faced similar scenarios. We loved church members, and they loved us, but in the end, we were outsiders. We hadn’t been born there, and when the Lord called, we would leave. Their mentality was understandable.

Gentiles—anyone who wasn’t a Jew—were outsiders too. God chose the nation of Israel as his special people and gave them rules, regulations, and ceremonies. The Gentiles weren’t part of the community unless they became a Jew in practice. The division between Jew and Gentile remained for thousands of years until after the church’s birth. But in Christ, no distinction exists.

If I’m considered an outsider by God, I’ve chosen to remain separated from him. We can be insiders any time we choose by simply acknowledging his Son’s death and resurrection and accepting his forgiveness. Because God gives us the opportunity to become an insider when we don’t deserve it, we should do the same for others. We can erect any number of walls to keep people out of our lives, but God wants us to let them in.

Being an outsider means missing out on things the insiders enjoy—love, understanding, membership privileges, forgiveness, kindness. God breaks down the wall of separation, and we should too.

Are there outsiders in your life who you need to invite in?

Prayer: Father, help us to love and include others as You do us. 

Tweetable: Do you ever feel like an outsider? 

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Barriers to Acceptance - Martin Wiles

Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. Roman 14:1 NLT

We all crave acceptance, but barriers to acceptance often keep us from receiving it—or giving it.

Contrary to popular opinion, accepting another person doesn’t mean we must accept their beliefs or practices. I love family and friends, but I don’t always love their actions or attitudes. Accepting someone whose beliefs or practices differ from mine isn’t easy.

Growing up, I was taught Sunday was a sacred day. The most Mom could do was cook Sunday lunch. No washing clothes, working in the yard, or going to the store. The day was reserved for attending church and resting. Seeing someone cutting their grass or working in the yard on Sunday was unusual. But could I accept someone who “violated” the Sabbath? Or what about the person who didn’t have the same philosophy about child rearing, dancing, playing cards, types of music, manner of dress, or mode of baptism? Then there’s the person who doesn’t even share my faith . . . and doesn’t want to.

Paul refers specifically to accepting other believers. The plethora of denominations witnesses that believers don’t agree on a number of things. Divisions within denominations also show disagreement among like-minded believers. Acceptance was even a problem in the first-century church. Was it acceptable to eat meat that had been used in pagan rituals? 

We should love all people because they are God’s creations, made in his image, loved by him, and have the potential to be used by him. This doesn’t mean, however, that we must also accept their beliefs or lifestyles. Acceptance doesn’t necessarily equal approval. 

When we let pride in, we’ll reject others instead of accepting them—thinking we’re better because we follow God or because our brand of spiritual living is better than theirs. Beliefs we were taught in childhood by well-meaning parents can quickly take us to this level. Maybe the person who went to the store on Sunday wasn’t a bad person after all. Perhaps they had a better understanding of spiritual freedom than I did. Misunderstanding God’s love can lead us to avoid others rather than accept them. God loves all, but he doesn’t accept all their actions.

What barrier do you need to tear down so you can accept others as God does?

Father, help me see others as You do and love them as You do. 

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Meandering Monday - Pleasing God - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Meandering Monday, where we take a trip back to an earlier post and enjoy it again.

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. Hebrews 11:6 NLT

Children live to please; grandchildren do as well.

My wife and I once had the privilege of keeping two of our grandsons every day while our daughter worked. Both lived to please us and were quite excited when they did. When they were young, simple things such as putting away their toys brought a handclap of joy when the job was done. When we asked them to fold their hands for the blessing before dinner, they eagerly obeyed. Handing us an item was done without fussing or arguing. Should we say, “Let’s go to Pop’s school,” they would head for the door. Regardless of what we asked, they obeyed. But we knew the time would come when they wouldn’t be as eager to please. The desire to disobey would sneak in, and their sinful nature would rear its ugly head.

Acceptance—a basic human need—explains children’s eagerness to please. By pleasing others and receiving their praise, approval, or thanks, they satisfy this need. Being accepted results in happiness and healthy living. Feeling unaccepted delivers the opposite.

Parents aren’t the only ones born with an innate desire to please. I also have this inborn need for God’s acceptance. My instincts drive me to worship and attempt to please him. If I neglect or ignore this need, I’ll find myself going down paths of rebellion—just as children do when they reach the “terrible twos.” But if I move toward this instinctive desire, I’ll gain God’s acceptance.

Faith in what Jesus did on the cross is the only way to please God. Faith that he has an eternal home awaiting us. Faith he’ll see us through every trial. Faith he can show us abundant living. Faith he’ll work all things for our good even when they aren’t good. Faith he’ll enable us to do what he’s given us gifts to do. Faith, plain and simple.

Faith in God drives us to obey him, and this is the only way we can please God. Are you living to please God or someone else?

Prayer: Father, enable us to please You by living a life of faith in Your Word and promises. 

Tweetable: Are you pleasing God? 

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Rejected - Martin Wiles

Absalom did this with everyone who came to the king for judgment, and so he stole the hearts of all the people of Israel. 2 Samuel 15:6 NLT

Frankie experienced something he never wanted: rejection.

Frankie remembered the day well. The day his wife said, “I don’t love you anymore.” Then she proved it by leaving him and their two children. As if that rejection wasn’t bad enough, more followed. Frankie pastored churches in a denomination that frowned upon divorced pastors … almost ostracized them, in fact.

Frankie sent out hundreds of resumes to churches. Nothing. He finally decided to take a job outside of church work, and for the next six years, he worked diligently in areas he didn’t think God had called him. Then he remarried. His new wife wanted him to pastor again. More resumes. More rejections. Nothing seemed to have changed, until one church took a chance on him and called him as pastor. But even there, some members rejected his leadership because he had been divorced.

Like Frankie, I remember rejection as a child. I wasn’t the most athletically built boy. Nor was I interested in sports. So, when Physical Education class took place, and the teacher chose two team captains to pick teams, I was always the last one selected. Rejection hurt then … as it does now.

King David knew rejection too—and by one of his own sons who decided he wanted to be king. He brown-nosed the people, who eventually turned to him as king and rejected his father. Absalom eventually ran his father out of town.

The reasons others may reject us vary. Often it concerns our appearance, jealousy, or our likes and dislikes. Sometimes, it’s because they see others rejecting us, so they just follow suit. Acceptance is one of our basic needs and when others don’t accept us, it hurts … deeply.

God gives us good news though. He never rejects us. When we turn to Him, we find Him turned to us. He loved us enough to send His Son to die for us, and He accepts us based on what Christ has done on Calvary.

Acknowledging our hurt is beneficial. So is realizing that not everyone will ever accept us. Jesus was perfect, but rejected by many. But amongst others’ rejection is God’s acceptance, and His is the only real acceptance that matters. His acceptance allows us to experience peace and fulfillment in life.

Seek to live at peace with others, but more than that enjoy the acceptance of God.

Prayer: Father, thank You for accepting us, even when others reject us.

Tweetable: Have you been rejected? 

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Flashback Friday - Rejection Hurts - Martin Wiles

Rejection Hurts

But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate. Mark 6:11 NLT

They were told not to move, but what if moving would quell another’s loneliness and feelings of rejection?

Lunchroom rules state a student must remain in the same seat. No getting up or changing places. New students often feel uncomfortable regardless of where they sit, especially if they don’t know anyone—and *Scarlet didn’t. One student, however, took the initiative to break the rule. I assumed she was coming to ask permission to go to the bathroom or her locker. Imagine my surprise when instead she asked, “Dr. Wiles, can me and ____ go and sit by the new girl. She’s sitting by herself?” Last year, she had been the new girl. I suppose she knew how rejection felt and didn’t want someone else to experience what she had tasted. An honorable act of intervention. Read more...

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Throwback Tuesday - The Price of Being Different - Martin Wiles

 The Price of Being Different

We want to be like the nations around us. Our king will judge us and lead us into battle. I Samuel 8:20 NLT

Variety is the spice of life, and different is acceptable.

I teach about 100 middle and high school students. Every one of them is different…regardless of how hard they try to be alike. Peer pressure attempts to fit them into a similar mold, but their various characteristics and personalities drive them apart. While similarities abound, their differences far outweigh any likenesses. Heights and weights vary, as do shoe sizes, hair lengths, and eye colors. Some are extremely talkative while others are enormously shy. The majority strives to do their best academically, but a few demonstrate their lack of interest in scholastic things. Read more...

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Rising above Rejection - Martin Wiles

Then Jesus began to tell them that the Son of Man must suffer many terrible things and be rejected by the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. Mark 8:31 NLT

“It would be best if you didn’t come back.”

The words stung—especially since I was this man’s pastor and his wife was a shut-in I visited regularly. I had made a change at church they didn’t appreciate, and they expressed their displeasure by uninviting me from their house.

Jesus knew about rejection too. Although thousands followed Him, many others rejected Him. Their rejection ultimately led to His arrest, torture, and crucifixion. But He rose above the rejection. Three days after being placed in a tomb, God raised Him up.

Rejection hurts, but rejection is a part of life. Some will always reject us because of our race, social class, religious standing, appearance, political stance, or personality. If Jesus couldn’t please everyone, we won’t either.

Comfort comes in knowing we, too, can rise above rejection. Others will reject us for various reasons, but God never turns us away. God’s love and acceptance are never-ending and always available to any who ask for it.

When others reject you, run to God’s loving arms of comfort.

Tweetable: How have you risen above rejection?

Prayer: God of comfort, thank you for always accepting us when others reject us.

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Throwback Tuesday - Restoring Broken Relationships - Martin Wiles

Restoring Broken Relationships

They had no intentions of getting along; they merely stomached each other.

Within a few months of becoming their pastor, I knew I had inherited a long-standing conflict. Not one that would ever come to blows but one that would persistently be a thorn in the church’s side. The first call came from June.* She was perturbed at Jessica* over what appeared an insignificant issue. I listened patiently and contacted Jessica. Her side of the story was different. From her perspective, it was June’s fault. I offered to mediate. They weren’t interested. Because both had strong personalities, neither was willing to compromise. And the cold air continued to blow until one of them finally told the church goodbye. Read more...

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Appearances Aren’t Everything - Martin Wiles

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

As we passed them, I judged their life story.

Traffic backed up as we chugged down the rural highway after leaving church. I peeked around the cars to determine the problem. A moped loaded with two people. Why didn’t they pull over and let the traffic by? 

When an opportunity came, all cars passed. I glanced at the couple as we drove by. A scraggly-looking man covered in tattoos. The woman looked about the same. To be honest, several things scampered through my mind that shouldn’t have. They’re probably riding this because they lost their driver’s license for DUI. After all, don’t they call those things liquor cycles? Probably gone to get some more now. I bet they’re high on meth. Bet they don’t work either. 

Samuel had a case of judging too. When God instructed him to go to Jesse’s house and anoint one of his sons as the next king of Israel, he immediately selected Eliab. His outward appearance impressed Samuel. Surely, God wanted him. But He didn’t. God wanted the little shepherd boy who wasn’t originally among the mix of sons under consideration.

Appearances are inconsequential to God. They often aren’t to me—or others—but they are to God. Brand name clothes and shoes, fancy jewelry, mind-numbing tattoos, a new hairdo, and any other number of outward things have the potential to set me apart from others. The trouble is, none of these things affect my inside. And God inspects there to see if I qualify for His work.

David was only a shepherd boy on the outside—a dirty job to be sure—but on the inside, even as a teenager, he had a heart that longed after spiritual things. God desired this in the man who would lead the nation.

Outward appearances are sometimes important, but they are never more important than my inward appearance. The only way to make it spotless is to trust Christ as my Savior and let His blood wash away my sins. Then I’m beautiful—if not to others, to Him. My new nature puts my heart in the right place, which will help me stop making hasty judgments about others whose outward appearance isn’t what I think it should be. 

Don’t let someone’s outward appearance blind you to what they may look like on the inside.

Tweetable: Do you accept or reject based on appearances?

Prayer: Father, enable us to look at others the way You look at us: with love, compassion, and grace. 

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