Flashback Friday - Choose Your Friends Wisely - Martin Wiles

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Some friends should carry the label, “Dangerous for Your Health.”

My parents always cautioned me to choose friends wisely. Biblical examples were offered of what happens when one doesn’t. Such as the prodigal son. Warnings reminded me that choosing bad company would corrupt my character. Stand your ground on moral principles and don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise. Imagine my surprise when one such distraction appeared in the form of a deacon’s son at the church my father pastored. We became fast friends. I had just entered adolescence, and rebellion was on my mind. And this new friend provided the fertilizer for my stubborn seeds to grow. Within a short period of time, I had acquired several addictions and was traveling down the wrong spiritual road. Read more...

Tweetable: Have you chosen the wrong friends?

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Befriending the Lonely - Martin Wiles

Series: The Road to Humility

When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!” Luke 7:39 NLT

He sat alone at the table, his head hanging down as he fidgeted with his food.  

John and Terry were new to the school and new to middle school. Though somewhat odd, together they made a wonderful pair. They stuck together like peas in a pod, one never without the other. Then, one day John sat alone at the lunch table. Terry no longer joined but sat with his classmates. I questioned John’s brother. He said John and Terry had experienced a falling out. He didn’t provide details, nor did I prompt him too.

“Will John get over it?” I asked.

“I doubt it,” he replied.

Terry tried his best to make up. John would have nothing to do with him. But one day, the shell of rejection cracked. All the boys in John’s class, including Terry, rose from their table and gathered around John at his table. Terry even sat next to John. I saw the ire on John’s face, but I also witnessed the intentionality on Terry’s. Within a week, their friendship was restored.

Jesus befriended the lowly—and the outcasts. Such as the sinful woman who interrupted His meal with the self-righteous Pharisee. Her entrance and behavior offended the Pharisee, but Jesus welcomed her, as He did anyone who came to Him sincerely and with faith.

Befriending those who others reject—the unpopular, the aged, the disabled—isn’t the easiest thing to do. By doing so, we risk being rejected too, but God commands us to love our neighbors as we do ourselves—and our neighbors are anyone who needs a neighborly touch. Different races, cultures, nationalities, and creeds. God loved the world and gave His Son to save it. He now gives us the mandate to go in His name and continue the work to all who will listen.

Putting ourselves in their place makes reaching out to them easier. Except for God’s grace, we might be in the same life situation. Imagining ourselves in their shoes creates empathy, not merely sympathy. Sympathy feels sorrow for, but does nothing. Empathy feels their pain and looks for ways to relieve it.

Being a friend to those who can’t help us in return takes intentionality, but God will show us the best way to proceed if we only ask. 

Sin separates people for each other, but God’s love brings us together. We are all God’s masterpieces in the making.

Have a friend by being a friend.

Tweetable: How can you be a friend to the lonely?

Prayer: Father, create in our hearts a love for all people and then lead us to those who need a helping hand.

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Remaining Quiet - Martin Wiles

Series: The Road to Humility

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 NLT

He aimed his words at me like poisonous darts.

Jake lived with bitterness, and I became the target of his sourness. When I first became his pastor, he took to me for some unknown reason. We had a good relationship—he even visited with me—until I made a move that offended him.

The church board made a decision affecting his position in the church. He took it personally and aimed his anger at me. From then on, I wasn’t his friend. He stopped talking to me, unless it was to tell me how much he disliked me for what I had done. And he made sure he aimed his barbs while others were around, further embarrassing me. Each time, I kept my mouth shut.

Then I made my second mistake. One of Jake’s relatives died, and I didn’t respond in the way he thought I should have. Once again, he shot his poisonous missiles. I apologized for my failure, but he wanted nothing to do with my sorrow. “It’s a little late for that,” he said. Although I wanted to react with anger, I remained quiet.

I wish I could say Jake and I made up—but we didn’t. Not because I didn’t want to, but because he wouldn’t give me the chance. I eventually moved on to another church, and he later died.

Peter’s advice promotes humility but certainly isn’t easy to follow. When others insult us or harm us, staying quiet—or not planning revenge—proves difficult. Mastering the art of remaining quiet, however, builds humility.

Peter doesn’t ask us to do anything Jesus didn’t do. The cross demonstrated humanity’s most unfair act, yet Jesus didn’t revile those taking His life. Rather, He asked God to forgive them.

I’ve lived long enough to realize unfair acts against me will happen. Regardless of how hard I try to get along with everyone, someone will harm me physically or emotionally. Remaining quiet when they do is only possible when I rely on God’s power in me. Otherwise, I’ll say or do things I shouldn’t.

And every time I take matters into my own hands, I’ll mess things up. Jesus remained quiet so God’s plan could be initiated, and He can give us the ability to do the same.

When you’re treated unfairly, ask God to help you remain quiet.

Tweetable: Have you learned the art of remaining quiet?

Prayer: Father, when others aim their poisonous darts at us, give us the courage to remain calm and quiet and let You handle our enemies.

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Thanking a Boss - Martin Wiles

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

He is the most optimistic and thankful person I know.

Not having heard from Mike in a while, I texted him: “Hey Mike, just checking to see how you are. Are you still in Texas?”

Almost immediately my phone rang. A Texas number I wasn’t familiar with showed on the screen. I took a chance, and a familiar voice—one I’ve heard for the last thirty-eight years—said, “Marty, this is Mike.”

Mike and I met after high school when we both worked for the same company. I was a part’s man in the warehouse; Mike did quality control. A lay off terminated my position with the company, but Mike has stayed through name changes and layoffs.

Not long ago, a transfer brought him to a new plant in our area—two hours from his home. Prior to that, he drove three hours one way to work each day. 

Then the company sent him to Clute, Texas—eleven hundred miles from his home. The present stint will last ten more months. He has no idea where he’ll go next.

Mike didn’t sign on for this kind of life. He’s a homebody. When I commented on how tough his situation must be, his optimism and thankfulness bled through. “Well, the plant has been good to me. I try to look at it as doing my time for them.”

Mike always had down pat what Paul instructed believers to have: a thankful attitude. Me? Not so much. I tend to look at the dark side rather than the bright side. To complain about negative circumstances rather than be thankful in them.

And the little preposition in is important. In refers to location. Being thankful in all settings is radically different than being thankful for all circumstances. Being happy over a child’s death, a lost job, or bankruptcy is ludicrous.

But I can be thankful in those instances. When I remember God controls my situations, a different spin arises. Circumstances are powerless to make me miserable—just as no one can make me angry. I choose my response. Mike selected thankfulness.

God is good all the time—even when our environment makes His goodness difficult to observe. Remembering He is allows us to find thankfulness in all circumstances. 

Wherever God has placed you, be thankful.

Tweetable: Are you thankful in all circumstances?

Prayer: Father, help us to search for the bright side in all circumstances. 

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Friendships’ Benefits - Martin Wiles

Welcome him in the Lord’s love and with great joy, and give him the honor that people like him deserve. Philippians 2:29 NLT

Both were named Mike, both were good friends, and both had a very different influence on me.

I met the first Mike when I was 15. My dad had been called as pastor of the church where Mike and his family attended. I was in the rebellious stages of adolescence…and so was Mike. He had experimented with a little more than I had and was eager to introduce me to alcohol, drugs, and cutting school. I was eager to follow his lead—and did. Mike was a good friend—and would have done anything for me, but his influence was negative.

I met the second Mike shortly after graduating high school when I started work at a local metal fabrication plant. He worked in quality control and had a desk in the warehouse where I worked. Mike had recently become a believer and was eager to please God with his actions and attitudes. At the time, I was still a little rough around the edges. Mike kept me sanded down. Every time I cussed, Mike gently called my name. Every time he saw or heard me committing wrongful actions, he lovingly rebuked me. Rather than get mad at Mike, I appreciated his concern for me and shaped up around him.

Forty years have passed since I hung around with the first Mike and about 34 since the second Mike. But I remember their influences well. So did Paul when it came to Epaphroditus. Paul was in prison. Epaphroditus delivered a gift to him from the believers at Philippi.

Good friends hold me accountable rather than lead me into unwise and unhealthy attitudes and actions. I’ll appreciate their rebukes because I know they have my best interests in mind.

Good friends show me unconditional love. Regardless of how I act or respond to their efforts, they will continue to love me as Christ does.

Good friends are always willing to lend me a helping hand. Helping me may inconvenience them…but they don’t mind.

And good friends and I share a common bond—belief in Jesus Christ as our Savior, and build our friendship on that foundation.

Wanting to be a good friend as well, I will return these favors for my friends.

Develop friendships that lift you up…not bring you down. Don’t let just any Mike into your life.

Prayer: Father, lead us into friendships with other believers who will enhance our journey with You. 

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