Accepting Rejection - Martin Wiles

He did not retaliate when was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:23 NLT

Accepting rejection is never fun.

Peer pressure is a part of growing up. As a middle school teacher, I’ve watched the lengths students will travel to be accepted—especially new students who want to fit in. Parents spend extra money so kids can have name brand clothes or the most popular tech games. New students sometimes completely change their personalities, trying to become the person they feel their peers want them to be. I watched one student overdose on an over-the-counter drug just to get attention. Some who have no interest in sports play anyway. Others make poor grades just so they won’t be made fun of for being smart.

The only perfect person who ever lived also faced rejection. But Jesus didn’t retaliate, change his personality, or try to become someone else to fit in. He accepted rejection as a part of God’s plan.

Rejection is worth the cost when the cause is admirable. Jesus’ cause was worth everything he had to undergo. He was going to die for our sins. His death would usher in a new existence for those who accepted him as God’s perfect sacrifice.

As a believer and Jesus’ representative, we should expect rejection. And I’ve received it. During middle school, in fact, I was rejected and laughed at by some because of my moral values. I wouldn’t let anyone copy my homework—which I actually viewed as important. I figured if I suffered through the agony of doing it, the lazy students could as well. Nor would I cheat simply to make a good grade.

With God’s wisdom, however, we can process our rejection. If we're rejected because we follow Christ, we can depend on God’s strength to help us accept the rejection—regardless of how much it hurts.

When rejection comes, we can also be assured that God will never reject us. In the scheme of life, the reasons others reject us are often trivial. Our ultimate acceptance must come from God—even if it means being rejected by everyone else. When we're accepted by God, our purpose in life will become clear and our joy will be complete.

Think about whom you seek acceptance from, and at what cost?

Father, remind me that following you is worth any price I might have to pay.

I invite you to try my book A Whisper in the Woods in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

When Rejection Comes - Martin Wiles

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

He was a washed-up shoe salesman caught up in a town gossiping war.

In the Andy Griffith episode, Those Gossipin’ Men, Aunt Bee and a friend sat in the local drug store, enjoying a cool drink on a hot day. While spreading a little gossip among themselves, they were startled when a stranger came in and tried to sell them a pair of shoes. And surprised because he didn’t try extremely hard. In fact, they labeled him as the tamest shoe salesman they’d ever seen. He offered once, they said no, and he went on about his business. Little did he know a gossiping war between the ladies of the town and the men who hung around at Floyd’s Barber Shop would soon engulf him.

Prior to the salesman’s arrival, Andy had come into the drug store to get sulfur powder. Barney had cut his finger while cleaning his pistol. The cut was small, but several hours later, someone called the sheriff’s office to report that Barney had shot himself in the chest and was dead. When Aunt Bee and her friend hurried in to console Andy, they were surprised to see Barney still standing. That’s when Andy accused them of being the biggest gossipers in town.

The tame traveling shoe salesman gave Aunt Bee and her friend an opportunity to prove to Andy that just as much gossip came out of Floyd’s Barber Shop. So, when Andy and Barney asked who the stranger was, the two women planted a seed of doubt in their “conceited” male minds. They told Andy and Barney who the man claimed to be, but then questioned the man’s honesty. He didn’t seem eager to sell shoes.

Initially, Andy dismissed their suspicions and again accused them of spreading gossip. But then, he himself became suspicious. Before long, he and the other men in town had turned a washed-up shoe salesman into a New York City television producer. Soon, he and the other men in town gathered their sons and daughters, ushered them to the man’s hotel room, and had them audition for the traveling salesman. In the process, they buy numerous pairs of shoes—so much so that the failed salesman set a company record for a day’s sales.

The traveling salesman came to town a rejected mess, but left a success. Eliab knew a little about rejection too—as did all young David’s brothers. As they passed before Samuel—the prophet God had sent to their father’s house to select the next king of Israel—they each felt the sting of rejection. And imagine how much more humiliating the experience when they discovered God had chosen their younger sheep-tending brother.

Rejection in life is inevitable. We’ll be turned down for promotions, teams, dates, marriage proposals, jobs, projects, clubs, community organizations, assignments, book publishing. And we cannot deny that rejection hurts. Acceptance is one of our basic needs, but not every person will accept us. Nor will everything we attempt to do gain acceptance.

The good news is that while others may reject us or things we propose, God never will. God selected David because He knew David was a boy (and would later be a man) after God’s own heart. In that respect, nothing has changed. God accepts every person who wants to love and serve Him. No turning away. No turning down.

Life teaches us—often the hard way—that rejection is a part of our existence. But not as it relates to our walk with God. He always walks by our side. Nothing we do will drive Him away. Nothing we face will be so intense that He can’t walk us through it. And He will love and accept us…no matter what. Now and throughout eternity.

Let God’s acceptance bring you the comfort you need when others reject you or something you’ve done.

Father, I thank You for Your eternal love that never turns away those who come to You.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

The Pain of Rejection - Martin Wiles

So because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you from being king. 1 Samuel 15:23 NLT

Rejection is never pleasant, and Robert knew all about it.

Ronnie was a member of the first church I pastored. He and his family were faithful members as well as hard workers. But he faced the daily pain of rejection. His brother lived next door but rarely spoke to him. Years before, a family dispute had disrupted their relationship. Ronnie received most of the family estate when their father died—but only because he paid for it. His brother didn’t believe that, however. All he could see was favoritism. He took out his anger through acts of rejection. One was by rarely speaking to his brother. The other was by building a fence between their houses.

Although it was his fault, King Saul of Israel knew the pain of rejection—and from a higher source. Saul had a habit of disobeying God’s commands. Finally, God had enough and took the kingship from him.

God isn’t in the business of rejection. Had Saul repented, God would have restored his relationship with him—even though the consequence of losing the kingdom would have held. Once we enter God’s family, we’re there for good. He’ll never turn or throw us away unless we choose not to believe in him. Unfortunately, others don’t always act as God does.

Regardless of whom rejection comes from, it hurts. By its very nature, rejection is painful. God rejected Saul for disobedience, but others might reject us for numerous reasons. Rejection can come from our appearance, intelligence, or what we have or don’t have. Or because we hurt someone, because we don’t fit in, because we have an education, or because they found someone else.

Trusting God for peace when we’ve experienced rejection is always wise. No one or thing can give peace as he can. Even though someone has broken our trust, it’s also important that we don’t stop trusting everyone just because of what we’ve experienced with one. Not everyone will reject us. We can also find comfort by reading God’s Word, reading other Christian material, and praying. In times of rejection, having a good group of Christian friends is equally important. Because they have experienced Christian love, they know how to support and comfort us.

When others reject you, rejoice that God never does.

Father, thank you for allowing me to run to your arms of security and comfort when others reject me.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Turned Away - Martin Wiles

Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. Revelations 3:20 NLT

 

We made it to the entrance—but no farther.

 

John was a World War II veteran in his upper nineties who attended the church I pastored. When my wife and I arrived at church early one Sunday morning, we found a note left by his daughter telling us her dad was in ICU at the local army base. Following our service, my wife and I made the one-hour drive to see him.

 

As we approached the base entrance, a young military man asked to see my ID. I showed him my driver’s license, thinking this would suffice. Wrong. He asked if I had a pass. I told him I didn’t. He pointed me to the Welcome Center just to my right and told me they would help me.

 

I pulled a number when I entered the building and waited for my turn. “Number 79,” the Homeland Security officer called. I approached the window and told him I needed to visit someone in the hospital. “Let me see your ID,” he said. When I showed him my driver’s license, he told me he needed to see another form of ID as well. I had none he asked for. “I’m sorry,” he politely said. “I can’t let you in.” Three hours of driving, just to be turned away.

 

Jesus tells of another scenario. During every person’s life, He stands at the door of their heart, knocking to gain entrance. If they open, He comes in. If they don’t, He remains outside.

 

Jesus’ knock comes in the form of conviction by His Holy Spirit—that little voice we can’t actually hear aloud, but can in our heads. We know something . . . someone . . . is there asking us to do something. When we listen, we eventually determine it’s God’s voice telling us we need Him. He pursues us, like a hound does a deer, a coon, or a fox. If we turn away from the voice, He continues to hound us until we open the door or make it plain we want nothing to do with Him—a decision with eternal consequences.

 

Being turned away at the army base just meant I couldn’t see a church member. Being turned away by God has consequences now and in eternity. 

God doesn’t force Himself on us. We can be a rebel and shun Him if we want, but if we do, we’ll not enjoy life as He intends.

 

God doesn’t want robots in His unit. He wants willing followers who will love Him with all their hearts and serve Him obediently. Opening the door entails confessing our sins, repenting of them, and obeying Him. And He’ll never turn away any who open the door for Him to enter.

 

Don’t fear God turning you away. No matter what you’ve done, you can still open the door, and He’ll come in.

 

Prayer: Father, we thank You that we can always open the door and let You into our lives. 

Tweetable: Have you turned God away? 

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Focusing Beyond Rejection - Martin Wiles

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:13-14 NLT

 

Rejection hurts, and focusing beyond rejection can hurt even more.

 

My devotion appeared on a Canadian website for which I was a monthly writer. As usual, I received many encouraging comments from readers, telling me how much they enjoyed the devotion. They also shared things from their lives to which the devotion related.

 

But amid the positive came the negative. The reader wanted to respond the day of my devotion but couldn’t because she thought her comments should be positive and encouraging—and hers wouldn’t have been. So, she waited until the next day. She zeroed in on my statement that God was our only true Comforter. She had needed much encouragement but found it through interaction with others who consoled her in other ways. She couldn’t believe I would discount their efforts. She wondered if I had ever experienced grief. Of course, I didn’t intend to discredit how others comfort us. I merely said that when all is said and done, no person can give us the kind of comfort God can.

 

Through experience, I’ve learned not to respond to critical comments, so I let the email go without a response. Her words, however, haunted me. Satan has a way of making our minds go to the negative rather than the positive. The next day, I received another email from the same reader, offering her apologies and asking for my forgiveness.

 

She had been leafing through a book of devotions she had collected—devotions that had meant a great deal to her in her time of sorrow. Among them was one I had written some time before. One that related to a several-year period in my life when one grief after another overwhelmed me and led to depression. Suddenly, she saw what I said in a different light. I quickly emailed her, giving my forgiveness and telling her I would gladly pray for her emotional healing.

 

Paul knew about rejection. Many accepted the message of salvation through Jesus Christ that he proclaimed—but many rejected it, and him. He was hounded, jailed, and eventually killed. Yet, his focus aimed forward to the One who accepted him and had an eternal place reserved for him.

 

Not taking rejection personally helps us deal with it more healthily. Rejection is often not about us. It wasn’t Paul the people didn’t like, but the message he preached. It wasn’t me the reader disliked, but she misunderstood one statement. Rather than outright rejecting the message, I’ve learned to look at the criticism and try to discover at least one positive thing I can learn from it. Criticism often contains some element of truth.

 

Even when the rejection is personal, we must learn to move on. 

Some will simply not like us for assorted reasons: our personality, our appearance, our economic status, our family. God created us as we are, and some things we simply can’t change. But we can know that God never rejects us even if others might.

 

Don’t let rejection derail you as you pursue what God wants you to do. Keep going . . . and trusting God.

 

Prayer: Father, when rejection comes, turn our eyes to You, the One who never rejects us. 

Tweetable: How do you react when rejection knocks on your door? 

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Outside In - Martin Wiles

Don’t forget that you Gentiles used to be outsiders. Ephesians 2:11 NLT

Sometimes, we must live without others’ acceptance--outside in. 

My family and I were always outsiders. Not because we were weird, unsociable, or had bad habits but because we hadn’t been born and raised in the town where my father pastored. Most others in the church were lifelong residents and related. Oh, we were loved and appreciated, but if it came down to it, they would forego our preferences because we were outsiders. Blood was thicker than water.

As a pastor, my family faced similar scenarios. We loved church members, and they loved us, but in the end, we were outsiders. We hadn’t been born there, and when the Lord called, we would leave. Their mentality was understandable.

Gentiles—anyone who wasn’t a Jew—were outsiders too. God chose the nation of Israel as his special people and gave them rules, regulations, and ceremonies. The Gentiles weren’t part of the community unless they became a Jew in practice. The division between Jew and Gentile remained for thousands of years until after the church’s birth. But in Christ, no distinction exists.

If I’m considered an outsider by God, I’ve chosen to remain separated from him. We can be insiders any time we choose by simply acknowledging his Son’s death and resurrection and accepting his forgiveness. Because God gives us the opportunity to become an insider when we don’t deserve it, we should do the same for others. We can erect any number of walls to keep people out of our lives, but God wants us to let them in.

Being an outsider means missing out on things the insiders enjoy—love, understanding, membership privileges, forgiveness, kindness. God breaks down the wall of separation, and we should too.

Are there outsiders in your life who you need to invite in?

Prayer: Father, help us to love and include others as You do us. 

Tweetable: Do you ever feel like an outsider? 

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Down in the Dust of Discouragement - Martin Wiles

I lie in the dust, completely discouraged; revive me by your word. Psalm 119:25 NLT

Rejections can put us down in the dust.

Writers know about rejection. The only way to avoid it is never to send anything out for publication.

We hear such things as “We’re sorry. We are not receiving manuscripts at this time,” or “We’d like to hold your devotional for further consideration.”

Then ten minutes later, another email arrives saying they decided not to use it after all. When rejection letters or emails come, I want to put down the pen—or, in my case, the keyboard. What’s the use? I think. No one wants to read my stuff anyway. Feelings of worthlessness can follow. Before long, I’m in the dust.

Why the psalmist was discouraged, I’m not sure. Perhaps he had witnessed the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem by invading armies. Maybe, he wondered if it would ever be rebuilt or if he would ever return to his homeland. Whatever the source, he was down in the dust.

Satan loves to put believers in the dust. He’s had me there quite a few times. On one occasion, I had been out of work and sent out hundreds of resumes applying for positions in my profession, only to be rejected by every single one. I was older than those they looked for. I didn’t have the credentials they sought. I didn’t…. The reason wasn’t important. The rejections left me in the dust.

Satan knows putting us in the dust often leads to discouragement. If he can turn up the discouragement, we might give up and quit. Unhealthy emotions will take over, and before we know it, we’re depressed or feeling worthless. No initiative left. Dreams dashed. Goals evaporated. In the dust and useless.

God never intends for us to grovel in the dust, unless to repent. He wants us to know we can do all things through Him because He gives us strength. He wants us to learn contentment in every situation by realizing He’s in control.

Whatever you’re facing, God is all you need to get through. Trust God to lift you out of your down-in-the-dust episode.

Prayer: Father, thank You for lifting us up when we are in the dust. 

Tweetable: Are you down in the dust and can't get up? 

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Meandering Monday - Intentional Rejection - Martin Wiles

Welcome to Meandering Monday, where we take a trip back to an earlier post and enjoy it again.

If we deliberately continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. Hebrews 10:26 NLT

Kids can be cruel.

Mattie was new to the school. She and her mom had recently moved to the area. They searched for a school where hopefully Mattie would be accepted and not face the bullying and rejection she had encountered at her previous school.

Mattie looked the same as any other student her age, but her speech gave away the fact she wasn’t. A minor lisp caused her to talk a little differently—a difference immediately noticed. While a few of the students accepted her despite this, most in her class shunned her. She walked alone in the hallways and sat solo in the lunchroom—a book often her only friend. Few took the time to know her. They were too worried about what their friends would say if they hung around with the new girl . . . the different girl. Unfortunately, Mattie faced the same intentional rejection she had felt at her previous school.

First-century Christians were warned against intentionally rejecting the gospel message of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Early missionaries spread the word across the known world. Turning to Christ was the only available opportunity to be rescued from sin’s fatal consequences.

As the product of a Christian home, I heard the same truth long before I could ever understand it. But the time arrived when it began to sink in. Since I understood and had heard, I had a choice: accept it or turn my back on it. Had I chosen to turn away, there would have been no other choice. Like Mattie’s classmates, I would have intentionally rejected another person. By not choosing God’s path, I would automatically choose the broad way leading to destruction.

God only provides one path to him: Jesus. Hearing this but shunning it leaves us with no other options. No further sacrifice is on the horizon; Jesus was it. Rejecting what God has done leaves us in a very precarious situation.

What have you done with God’s sacrifice?

Prayer: Father, we praise You for making the ultimate and final sacrifice for our sins. 

Tweetable: How do you deal with rejection? 

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Rejected - Martin Wiles

Absalom did this with everyone who came to the king for judgment, and so he stole the hearts of all the people of Israel. 2 Samuel 15:6 NLT

Frankie experienced something he never wanted: rejection.

Frankie remembered the day well. The day his wife said, “I don’t love you anymore.” Then she proved it by leaving him and their two children. As if that rejection wasn’t bad enough, more followed. Frankie pastored churches in a denomination that frowned upon divorced pastors … almost ostracized them, in fact.

Frankie sent out hundreds of resumes to churches. Nothing. He finally decided to take a job outside of church work, and for the next six years, he worked diligently in areas he didn’t think God had called him. Then he remarried. His new wife wanted him to pastor again. More resumes. More rejections. Nothing seemed to have changed, until one church took a chance on him and called him as pastor. But even there, some members rejected his leadership because he had been divorced.

Like Frankie, I remember rejection as a child. I wasn’t the most athletically built boy. Nor was I interested in sports. So, when Physical Education class took place, and the teacher chose two team captains to pick teams, I was always the last one selected. Rejection hurt then … as it does now.

King David knew rejection too—and by one of his own sons who decided he wanted to be king. He brown-nosed the people, who eventually turned to him as king and rejected his father. Absalom eventually ran his father out of town.

The reasons others may reject us vary. Often it concerns our appearance, jealousy, or our likes and dislikes. Sometimes, it’s because they see others rejecting us, so they just follow suit. Acceptance is one of our basic needs and when others don’t accept us, it hurts … deeply.

God gives us good news though. He never rejects us. When we turn to Him, we find Him turned to us. He loved us enough to send His Son to die for us, and He accepts us based on what Christ has done on Calvary.

Acknowledging our hurt is beneficial. So is realizing that not everyone will ever accept us. Jesus was perfect, but rejected by many. But amongst others’ rejection is God’s acceptance, and His is the only real acceptance that matters. His acceptance allows us to experience peace and fulfillment in life.

Seek to live at peace with others, but more than that enjoy the acceptance of God.

Prayer: Father, thank You for accepting us, even when others reject us.

Tweetable: Have you been rejected? 

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Flashback Friday - Rejection Hurts - Martin Wiles

Rejection Hurts

But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate. Mark 6:11 NLT

They were told not to move, but what if moving would quell another’s loneliness and feelings of rejection?

Lunchroom rules state a student must remain in the same seat. No getting up or changing places. New students often feel uncomfortable regardless of where they sit, especially if they don’t know anyone—and *Scarlet didn’t. One student, however, took the initiative to break the rule. I assumed she was coming to ask permission to go to the bathroom or her locker. Imagine my surprise when instead she asked, “Dr. Wiles, can me and ____ go and sit by the new girl. She’s sitting by herself?” Last year, she had been the new girl. I suppose she knew how rejection felt and didn’t want someone else to experience what she had tasted. An honorable act of intervention. Read more...

Tweetable: Have you been rejected? 

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