When Rejection Comes - Martin Wiles

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

He was a washed-up shoe salesman caught up in a town gossiping war.

In the Andy Griffith episode, Those Gossipin’ Men, Aunt Bee and a friend sat in the local drug store, enjoying a cool drink on a hot day. While spreading a little gossip among themselves, they were startled when a stranger came in and tried to sell them a pair of shoes. And surprised because he didn’t try extremely hard. In fact, they labeled him as the tamest shoe salesman they’d ever seen. He offered once, they said no, and he went on about his business. Little did he know a gossiping war between the ladies of the town and the men who hung around at Floyd’s Barber Shop would soon engulf him.

Prior to the salesman’s arrival, Andy had come into the drug store to get sulfur powder. Barney had cut his finger while cleaning his pistol. The cut was small, but several hours later, someone called the sheriff’s office to report that Barney had shot himself in the chest and was dead. When Aunt Bee and her friend hurried in to console Andy, they were surprised to see Barney still standing. That’s when Andy accused them of being the biggest gossipers in town.

The tame traveling shoe salesman gave Aunt Bee and her friend an opportunity to prove to Andy that just as much gossip came out of Floyd’s Barber Shop. So, when Andy and Barney asked who the stranger was, the two women planted a seed of doubt in their “conceited” male minds. They told Andy and Barney who the man claimed to be, but then questioned the man’s honesty. He didn’t seem eager to sell shoes.

Initially, Andy dismissed their suspicions and again accused them of spreading gossip. But then, he himself became suspicious. Before long, he and the other men in town had turned a washed-up shoe salesman into a New York City television producer. Soon, he and the other men in town gathered their sons and daughters, ushered them to the man’s hotel room, and had them audition for the traveling salesman. In the process, they buy numerous pairs of shoes—so much so that the failed salesman set a company record for a day’s sales.

The traveling salesman came to town a rejected mess, but left a success. Eliab knew a little about rejection too—as did all young David’s brothers. As they passed before Samuel—the prophet God had sent to their father’s house to select the next king of Israel—they each felt the sting of rejection. And imagine how much more humiliating the experience when they discovered God had chosen their younger sheep-tending brother.

Rejection in life is inevitable. We’ll be turned down for promotions, teams, dates, marriage proposals, jobs, projects, clubs, community organizations, assignments, book publishing. And we cannot deny that rejection hurts. Acceptance is one of our basic needs, but not every person will accept us. Nor will everything we attempt to do gain acceptance.

The good news is that while others may reject us or things we propose, God never will. God selected David because He knew David was a boy (and would later be a man) after God’s own heart. In that respect, nothing has changed. God accepts every person who wants to love and serve Him. No turning away. No turning down.

Life teaches us—often the hard way—that rejection is a part of our existence. But not as it relates to our walk with God. He always walks by our side. Nothing we do will drive Him away. Nothing we face will be so intense that He can’t walk us through it. And He will love and accept us…no matter what. Now and throughout eternity.

Let God’s acceptance bring you the comfort you need when others reject you or something you’ve done.

Father, I thank You for Your eternal love that never turns away those who come to You.

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Don’t Say That Word - Martin Wiles

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 NLT

When a grandchild says, “Don’t say that word,” I listen.

Although one of our grandchildren was slow beginning to talk, he caught up nicely. Soon, he spoke in sentences—which made our job a little more difficult as we tried to understand what he said. From the beginning, we taught him not to say “shut up.” “Hush” was a better word choice in our opinion.

Enter our then-mouthy Chihuahua, who needed to be quiet numerous times daily. As I issued those instructions one day, my grandson politely said, “No, you don’t say dat word.” 

“What should I say,” I responded.

“You say, ‘Be quiet,’” he said.

We're not quite sure where he learned some things he said. They had not come from us, his parents, or any television show he watched. Saying comical things just seems to be a way of life for him. Then again, there are some things he picked up from media sources that we wish he wouldn’t.

One translation uses the word unwholesome instead of foul or abusive. At first glance, I might associate this with the third commandment: “Do not misuse the name of the LORD your God” (Exodus 20:7 NLT). In other words, don’t cuss. But the instruction goes much further than four-letter words, so avoiding cursing won’t let me off the hook. And while I think more about wrong actions grieving God’s Spirit, unwholesome language will do the trick, also.

Speaking words that reflect bitterness toward another person is unwholesome. Gossiping will accomplish the same thing, whether what we say is true. Some things are just better left unsaid. Processing anger in unhealthy ways is also a part of the mix. As is just having a bad attitude and letting our words reflect it so everyone else can see it plainly as well.

Asking whether what we’re about to say is necessary, accurate, and uplifting is an excellent place to start, but we can’t stop there. Examining the root source our words arise from and considering the words we’re acting out in pictures are essential, too. If we don’t get to the source, we’ll keep saying “dat word.”

What do your words say about you to others?

Father, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight. 

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Tell Someone - Martin Wiles

Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he did for me. Psalm 66:16 NLT

“Now, don’t tell anyone.”

I have a friend who loves a juicy piece of gossip. He doesn’t mean to share anything that would harm anyone else—he’s the kindest and most helpful person you’d ever want to meet—but he just can’t help spreading a little news.

Often, in our conversations together, I ask him to keep what I had told him confidential. He promises he will. But later, I would always run into someone who knew what I had told my friend. Knowing there was no other way they could have discovered the information, I realized my friend had told them.

Of course, he liked to tell me the same thing when he found out something about someone. His “Now, don’t tell anyone” followed many stories he shared with me. Interestingly, I didn’t have to worry about telling anyone. He’d take care of that.

I learned over time that I had to be careful what I shared with him. If I didn’t want something told, I better not tell him. He just couldn’t help telling someone. He had the gift of gab, and in his too much talk came too much information.

The psalmist wanted to tell something too, but what he had to share needed sharing. He wanted to tell others what God had done for him. He cried out to God when he recognized his sinfulness, and God came to his rescue by forgiving him. God could have turned His face away from the psalmist, but He didn’t.

While we shouldn’t be spreaders of gossip, we should share how God has and does work in our lives. Our world appears a hopeless place, but as believers, we have words of hope that others need to hear. Our world is often a joyless place, but we have a lifestyle to share that ushers in joy regardless of our circumstances. Keeping our discoveries a secret keeps others from enjoying the hope and joy we live with.

We also have an eternal lover who keeps giving us love no matter how many times we fail to do the same for Him. Our Savior loves us unconditionally, and He is always there for us when we need Him. Through our walk with Him, we discover there’s more to life than getting and trying to maintain stuff. A relationship with Him that never grows old awaits us. And that needs to be told.

Who have you not told about God, but need to?

Prayer: Father, motivate us to spread the good news of Your love. 

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Flashback Friday - Bilingual Communication - Martin Wiles

Bilingual Communication

We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.  And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go. James 3:3-4 NLT

When in a marriage or serious relationship, learning your partner’s language is critical.

As in the earlier years of her history, the United States is seeing a large influx of immigrants—presently Hispanic. Public opinion remains divided over immigration, but one thing is certain: we must learn each other’s language if we’re going to co-exist. Their children must learn the official language of America in order to attend school. Adults must learn at least a little English to be able to exist in our culture. Many businesses and service providers have made accommodations to make the transition easier. Spanish is printed on food substances, public signs, and is an option at most places where business transactions are made. America is making a valiant attempt to be bilingual. Read more...

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Sealed Lips - Martin Wiles

Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips. Psalm 141:3 NLT

Some things seal better than others.

My wife and I discovered this when she had shoulder surgery. The doctor did not issue her an ice machine afterward but simply told her to ice the incision area to keep down swelling. Since we didn’t have an ice pack available at the moment, I took a freezer bag—a cheap freezer bag—filled it with ice, and placed it on her shoulder.

In short order, the ice melted. Prior to my going to bed, I filled the freezer bag full and placed it on her shoulder. The next morning, the melted ice water had leaked from the bag, ran down her shoulder, and soaked her clothes. A cheap freezer bag doing what cheap freezer bags do.

I buy store brands for most things, but some store brands are just not as good. Matching up the seams is next to impossible. Once sealed, the seam is easy to open or to come open on its own, making it a poor choice for an ice pack or for anything else in liquid form.

The psalmist begged for God to guard or seal his lips. Not that he never wanted to talk but that he wanted to be careful when he did.

If I could control my tongue, I could save myself a lot of trouble. And I’ve met several people in my life who I could say the same of. In fact, what the psalmist asks God to do is something everyone should ask God to do.

One research found that we open our mouths around 700 times each day. I imagine many of those times I do so without thinking. Like the woman who once introduced herself to me and then said, “I speak before I think.” I’ve been with her more times than I care to admit, but keeping my mouth shut more cures the problem of speaking before I think.

Keeping our mouths closed more than open cuts down on gossip. The less I open my mouth, the less likely I will say things about others I shouldn’t. And it also silences those who might falsely accuse us as Christians. What comes from our mouths should reflect our character—and the name of Christ.

Ask God to guard your lips so that what you say will build others up and honor the name of Christ.

Prayer: Father, give us wisdom to know when to speak up and when to shut up.

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Talking to the Wrong Person - Martin Wiles

One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” Genesis 3:1 NLT

I shared my dilemma with her…with him.

The name is not important. He could be anyone…she could be everyone, but the stories are similar. “You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone.” He said. She said. So, I take them into my confidence and tell them the story. Perhaps of a financial struggle I’m dealing with. Or a personal matter I need advice about. Maybe an emotional struggle I want few to know about.

Later, I would run into an everyman…or everywoman…and hear, “I understand you…” I ask where they heard it. “_____ told me.” And it probably wasn’t the person I had shared it with, but someone they had shared it with who in turn felt the need to share it with someone else.

Eve discovered the consequences of talking to the wrong person. She and Adam spent each evening talking with God in the garden He had constructed for them. One day, the wrong person showed up and struck up a conversation with Eve, attempting to get her to question God’s love for her and her husband. Eve listened, ate the forbidden fruit, and the rest is history.

I grew up in an environment where I was encouraged to be open. For me, sharing my troubles with others made them easier to handle. After all, didn’t psychologists say getting things out in the open was healthier?

I also learned not everyone will keep in confidence what I tell them in confidence. Perhaps they aren’t mean spirited but just love to talk. But some are mean spirited and love to gossip, stir the pot, and create drama.

We can talk to everyone but should choose carefully whom we take into our confidence with personal matters. Make sure they can hold your confidence, and make sure they are spiritually mature enough to give you good advice. Not everyone has to know everything … nor should they. Talking to the wrong person could also bring unwanted trouble if they are the type who’d love to lead us down wrong spiritual paths.

You can’t choose your family, but you can choose what you tell them…and you can choose your friends. Choose the ones who have your best interests in mind.

Prayer: Father, give us the wisdom to know when and with whom to share our struggles.

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Throwback Tuesday - Taming the Tongue - Martin Wiles

Taming the Tongue

If it can’t be tamed, why bother trying?

I’ve never tamed something wild, but I have trained a few wild domesticated animals. Presently we have a cat named Emma which we adopted from the animal shelter. She wasn’t our first choice, but somehow she found her way into our house anyway. It wasn’t long before we wondered if we had made the better selection. Emma was young and wild, but through scolding, bribing, swatting, and water squirting we have brought her rambunctiousness under control. Read more...

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Flashback Friday - Tongue Out of Control - Martin Wiles

Tongue Out of Control

Carelessness was the reason it began. And in a matter of moments, it raged out of control. 

The Rim Fire—so named because of its close proximity to the Rim of the World vista point, was the third largest wildfire in California’s history and the largest on record in the Sierra Nevada. The fire started on August 17, 2013, and wasn’t contained until October 24. By the time firefighters brought it under control, it had burned 257,314 acres and a number of structures. Read more...

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