To Forgive or Not to Forgive - Martin Wiles

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

To forgive or not to forgive, that is life’s dilemma.

Mickey had faced a lot in life. He’d had to forgive his first wife for walking out on him. So he wasn’t prepared for the words his second wife whispered one night in their bedroom: “I don’t love you anymore.” 

Mickey’s world also crumbled when he learned his wife had been unfaithful. Containing his anger took every ounce of energy he had. When his wife finally walked out, forgiveness was the last thing on his mind. When it became clear the marriage was not salvageable, he had to choose: forgive her and move on, or resent her and be miserable. 

God’s choice was similar. He created humans, placed them in a garden where all their needs were met, and gave them one prohibition. Shortly thereafter, they failed the test. He could assign them and their descendants a murky future or forgive them and provide a way for reconciliation. He chose the latter and made a path of reclamation that was foreshadowed by the skins he secured to cover their nakedness.

Thousands of years later, Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice that those first animal skins had symbolized. But why couldn’t God simply forgive without the gruesome suffering the cross demonstrated? The answer lies in the association between forgiveness and suffering. The first always entails the second.

Choosing to forgive entails suffering. If someone wrongs us and we choose not to forgive, resentment, hatred, anger, and plans for revenge will assume the place of forgiveness. We may think refusing to forgive hurts the other person, but we’re the one who suffers. Doing the opposite, forgiving, also involves suffering. 

Our willingness to forgive automatically brings suffering because we release someone from a debt they owe us for a wrong they’ve committed against us. Doing so goes against our human nature and brings pain. Jesus showed how to do it well. God allowed him to take on our sin so we could receive his righteousness. When we forgive others, we assume the pain they deserve to endure for hurting us. 

God forgave because he loves. He gives us the power to do the same. Let Him teach you how to forgive those who’ve wronged you. Failing to forgive leads to a life of misery.

Father, give me the grace and strength to follow your example of forgiveness. 

If you seek hope and healing because of hurts you have faced, then Hurt, Hope, and Healing is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Forgiving When It’s Difficult - Martin Wiles

Series: The Road to Humility

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” Matthew 18:21 NLT

She could forgive her daughter for almost anything, except for how she treated her children.

Jan had struggled with drug addiction most of her teen and adult life, even spending time in prison for drug dealings. She loved her children but just couldn’t muster the fortitude to be there for them when they were growing up and needed her the most. Her mom and dad had to step in and raise her children. Otherwise, social services would have taken them away.

Although her children are now in college and high school, Jan still struggles with drug use and depression. Her mom and dad continue to tend to her needs and the needs of her children—who have lived with them for years. And Jan’s mom continues to struggle with forgiving her adult daughter for what she’s done to the children.

I know a little of her pain. I too have struggled with a son who has battled substance abuse and who sometimes chooses not to talk to me or allow me to see my grandchild for months at a time. But I choose to forgive, as difficult as it is.

Peter recognized the difficulty of forgiving. He thought forgiving someone seven times for the same offense was a gracious plenty, but Jesus said no.

According to Jesus, we should attach no limit to our forgiveness. We represent God, and God doesn’t limit His.

Defined, forgiveness is releasing someone for a debt they owe because of a wrong they’ve committed against us. Jesus did it on the cross for those who crucified Him. Nothing anyone could do to us can compare to the harm our sin did to our relationship with God. But knowing we need to forgive and can’t justify not forgiving makes it no easier.

Only by God’s power can I forgive those who hurt me—and sometimes the hurts cut deeply. And sometimes I have to forgive the same person more than once for the same offense. Satan has a way of bringing back up the offense—and with the memory comes anger and unforgiveness.

Yet, failing to forgive demonstrates that I misunderstand God’s forgiveness. Regardless of the offenses—or how many times they’re committed—He continues to forgive. Love will let Him do no less. And it shouldn’t me either.

Ask God to help you forgive as you have been forgiven.

Tweetable: Who do you need to forgive?

Prayer: Father, give us the strength to forgive those who wrong us just as You forgive our trespasses against You.

Looking for a wide selection of genres in inspirational books at discount prices? Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

As You Have Been Forgiven - Martin Wiles

Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 NLT

As he sat in his favorite chair, a flood of emotions washed over him. 

Jason was an experienced teacher and had received many stern correspondences from parents over the years. But he’d never received any like the email that just popped up on his phone as he enjoyed an evening at home with his wife. The email was accusatory and mean spirited. 

The parent questioned Jason’s method of teaching. The student had made A’s and B’s last year—the year Jason had taken off from teaching—but was making C’s this year. Didn’t Jason know how to teach? If their demands weren’t met, they’d contact the headmaster. 

Vengeful thoughts taunted Jason. He’d taught this child before with no negative interaction from his parents. He wondered where such an email originated from. Were the parents having a bad day? Had someone else—maybe the student or one of his friends—sent the email? Jason wanted to fire off a mean-spirited email in return, but experience had taught him better.

For the next thirty minutes, Jason ruminated over what to say. He determined he wouldn’t apologize because he wasn’t guilty. He knew he was a good teacher and had followed the special accommodations for this student. The email he finally penned was kind, but to the point. 

Later the next day, as Jason poured over his sermon for Sunday—the one on forgiveness—God pierced His heart. God had forgiven him; he must forgive the angry parents.

Forgiveness releases someone from the penalty they should owe for an infraction they’ve committed against us. It is letting go and letting God handle the matter. The person may never recognize their wrong—or even care that they have wronged us—but we must do the right thing whether they do or not. 

Unforgiveness binds us to the person who has wronged us while forgiveness frees us. We no longer let them live in our head rent free. We don’t approve of what they’ve done, but we don’t ruminate on it like a cow chewing the cud repeatedly all day. 

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean we have to become best friends with the person. The relationship may never be reconciled, but peace with God results because we’ve done the right thing: forgiven as we have been forgiven.

Let God teach you to release those who wrong you.

Tweetable: Who do you need to forgive, but haven't?

Prayer: Father, teach us to forgive others as You have forgiven us. 

Looking for a wide selection of genres in inspirational books at discount prices? Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

Loosing the Arm of Unforgiveness - Martin Wiles

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 NLT

She saw him coming across the room. One who had made her life a living hell. 

Corrie ten Boom and her sister, Betsie, languished in prison until Betsie died. Shortly thereafter—later discovered to be through of a clerical error—authorities released Corrie. One week later, soldiers killed all the women her age. 

After her release, Corrie traveled over Holland and Europe telling of her experience. On one occasion, while speaking in Munich, she saw one of the Nazi guards from Ravensbruck coming toward her with a smile on his face. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein. To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away,” he said.

He thrust his hand toward Corrie, but her arm felt as if glue held it to her side. She had to utter several prayers, asking God to help her forgive him, before she could bring herself to return his gesture. But when she did, something astounding happened.

In The Hiding Place, Corrie writes, “As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand, a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.”

Corrie experienced the joy of forgiveness—the kind Paul said believers should give.

The basis of our forgiveness is God’s forgiveness. When we ask—and no matter how often we ask—God is always willing to forgive. A significant part of His nature is love, and love demands forgiveness. When I’ve been forgiven by God, I’ll understand how ludicrous it is for me to refuse to forgive someone else, no matter how deeply they’ve hurt me.

Forgiveness is never easy and may require repeating. Forgiveness releases someone from a debt they owe us because of a wrong they’ve committed against us.

Forgiving the infraction doesn’t mean we place our stamp of approval on what they’ve done—or that they shouldn’t suffer consequences for their actions.

Peace results when we forgive. In fact, forgiveness benefits us more than it does the person we’re forgiving. Jesus said He came to bring peace. He also wants us to live abundantly. Both states of being require a regular habit of releasing those who harm us—physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.
  
With God’s help, forgive those who have wronged you.

Tweetable: Are you extending an arm of forgiveness?

Prayer: Father, as You have forgiven us, so help us to forgive others. 

Looking for a wide selection of genres in inspirational books at discount prices? Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's encouragement through his love lines.

The Sound of Forgiveness - Martin Wiles

Then he (Joseph) broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him. Genesis 45:2 NLT

His slanted eyes and caustic words sounded the unforgiveness alarm. And I detected it clearly.

He was my best friend when I became his pastor, but after a few years, I was his enemy. I generated a decision he didn’t appreciate. He believed I had accused him. Nothing I said would alter his thinking. When I didn’t respond as he thought I should have after a death in his family, the coffin on our friendship was sealed. I apologized, but he wouldn’t accept it. 

Joseph toiled with forgiveness too. The sound of his was so loud everyone nearby could hear it. And he had reason to combat it. He was sold by his family, enslaved in a foreign country, and falsely accused by a scorned woman.

Finally, God rescued him and made him the second in command of the entire country. His brothers—who had sold him into slavery—begged for food. Their country was experiencing a famine. Joseph needed to reveal his identity. He needed to forgive them for selling him as a slave, for lying to their father about his whereabouts, and for all the hardships he had endured. But it was painful. The sound of his struggle echoed throughout the palace.

Although God wants us to forgive our offenders immediately, He never said it was easy. Without His help, it’s impossible. Joseph’s toying with his brothers reveals the difficulty. He accused them of lying about their identity and about why they were in Egypt. He placed his drinking cup in their sacks and then accused them of stealing. He retained one in prison and sent the others away. All efforts to pay them back for what they’d done to him.

Forgiveness often has to be repeated. Once may only work for a time. Satan brings the offense back up, and we have to forgive again lest thoughts of revenge take over.

Forgiving others is an ongoing process. Others will wrong me throughout life—and I’ll wrong others, unintentionally and sometimes intentionally.

Forgiving those who wrong me seems illogical, and it is. But doing so is evidence I’ve experienced God’s grace. God forgiving me for my sin against Him is just as senseless, but He does. And I must mimic His behavior. That’s what grace does.

If you need to forgive someone, do it now. It may be your last chance.

Prayer: Father, as You have forgiven us, enable us to forgive others. 

Tweetable: What is keeping you from forgiving?

Looking for a wide selection of genres in inspirational books at discount prices? Click here to see selections.

Thanks to all our faithful followers who are "sharing" our posts--please keep it up! We also invite you to follow and like us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Help us spread God's Word.