Building Blocks of Healthy Relationships - Martin Wiles

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians5:21 NLT

“I remember when you used to…”

Anytime I hear my wife say the above, I know she will follow it with something I once did but don’t anymore—things like opening the door for her when she’s getting in the car or entering a store or coming up behind her and putting my arms around her neck while we’re shopping.

My wife has a memory like an elephant and recalls many things I’ve long forgotten. Among them is how our relationship was when we first married. I tell her our relationship has matured. She thinks, Now that you’ve got me, you think you don’t need to do those things anymore. We’re probably both right to a degree, but we must work to maintain healthy relationships.  

Paul gives a list of instructions for husbands and wives. Some women don’t like the submission part, while some husbands take issue with loving their wives enough to die for them. But Paul prefaces the instructions with a command for mutual submission. Doing this requires building blocks.

Mutual love and submission entail intentionality. If I’m not intentional or determined to love my wife as Christ loved the church or to submit to her as I desire her to submit to me, it won’t happen. Anything important requires our undivided attention.

Thoughtful words and actions are essential. My wife loves to hear me tell her I love her, but she wants to see love in action. Holding her hand, opening a car door, giving her a card, kissing her first thing in the morning—all little things that mean a lot.

Honesty is also critical. Dishonesty will wreck any marriage or relationship. I know. I’ve been on the receiving end of dishonesty, and it leads to a dead end. We build trust in small ways over many years, but one wrong move can destroy what it took years to build.

Additionally, faithfulness is a must for healthy relationships. It follows on the heels of honesty. In the marriage ceremony, I promised to be faithful to my one wife until death parts us. No good reason exists to break that promise as long as I’m in the relationship.

Yet, more important than any other block is including God. Relationships that exclude him are headed for failure from the start.

Use the correct building blocks to erect healthy relationships in your life.

Father, give me wisdom to build healthy relationships with those you send into my life. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Southern Fried Chicken Strips

 

 

Ingredients

1 EGG

½ CUP BUTTERMILK

1 CUP PLAIN FLOUR

 ½ TEASPOON GARLIC POWDER

1 ½ TEASPOON PEPPER

½ TEASPOON SALT

½ TEASPOON PAPRIKA

2 POUNDS CHICKEN TENDERLOINS

OIL FOR FRYING

Directions

WHISK EGG & BUTTERMILK IN A BOWL.

COMBINE FLOUR, GARLIC POWDER, PEPPER, SALT, AND PAPRIKA.

DIP CHICKEN IN EGG MIXTURE, FLOUR, AND THEN IN EGG MIXTURE AGAIN.

HEAT OIL TO 375 DEGREES.

FRY CHICKEN FOR 2-3 MINUTES ON EACH SIDE.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

What Squirrels Can Teach About Determination - Martin Wiles

Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle. Exodus 17:12-13 NLT

His determination paid off; he had emptied my bird feeder and satisfied his hunger. I learned a lesson about what squirrels can teach about determination.

I had decided to take my new cedar birdfeeder to the church and hang it outside my office window. Soon, birds of a wide variety showed up. So did squirrels.

On one of my trips to fill the feeder, I noticed that both side panels were missing. I picked up the panels from the ground and carefully slid them back into the grooved slots. No squirrel could do this, I thought.

Thinking someone was playing a prank on me, I silently blamed it on the young guys who maintain our lawn. But I was wrong on both accounts. The next day, I noticed the top of the birdfeeder was cocked to the side, and one of the panels was almost out. Now I knew who the culprit was. Because of his determination to get sunflower seeds, Mr. Squirrel was destroying my feeder.

Tittle tattle may lose the battle—but so will laziness. Moses and his counterparts, Aaron and Hur, were not about to let that happen. As Joshua, the military commander, carried out God’s command to fight and defeat the Amalekites because of their wickedness, Moses mounted a mountain and raised his arms. When his arms tired, Aaron and Hur set him on a rock and held up his arms. As long as his arms were raised, the Israelite army prevailed.

Determination can apply to any number of life areas, but it is a must where spirituality is concerned. Without it, we won’t prepare financially for our futures. Without it, we won’t do our best in our profession or place of employment. Apart from determination, life will topple us instead of us conquering it.

More drastically, if we’re not determined, our focus on developing spiritual disciplines, serving, worshiping, and loving others will suffer. And this will affect our existence more than slacking on anything else.

The Israelites’ battle with the Amalekites was more than a physical encounter; it was a spiritual war. Only with squirrel determination—fueled by the power of God’s Spirit within us—can we win our daily battles with temptation and make choices that please God.

Be determined to be the person God created you to be and to get what God has planned for you.

Father, create in me a determination to be all you plan for me to be. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Sustained by God - Anita van der Elst

Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the LORD delivers them in times of trouble. The LORD protects and preserves them — they are counted among the blessed in the land — he does not give them over to the desires of their foes. The LORD sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness. Psalm 41:1-3 NIV

As I peeled apples for an apple crisp I intended to serve at my women’s small group in my home the following morning, I noticed how my hands and finger joints ached more than usual. My head felt heavy, and not long after I put the dish in the oven, everything ached, and the chills began. 

When the oven timer buzzed, my body seemed to echo the sound. I set the glass baking pan on a rack to cool, and took myself to bed. The thermometer indicated a fever, so with disappointment, I notified my small group that they all needed to stay far away the next day.  

An unpleasant few days followed, as the virus ran its course. The ensuing weakness, fatigue, and residual cough continued weeks longer, curtailing several activities and events I’d looked forward to. At least I was in good company, as my husband quickly followed suit with all the same symptoms.

With thankful hearts, we accepted our daughter-in-law’s offer to bring us groceries while we convalesced, including a surprise treat of M&M’s. Kids aren’t the only ones who enjoy those colorful, sweet candies. May God bless her in her regard for us in our weakness.

How reassuring to read the biblical announcement that God sustained His loved ones even on their sickbed and restored them. As I read this passage in my recovery time, I realized He delivered, protected, and preserved my husband and me through the challenge of illness.

Depend on God when you experience illness. Then, look for ways to bless others who are ill. 

Anita van der Elst finds joy in creating with words, believing God gifted her with the desire to do so. Married to her best friend, Edward, since 1976, she is a proud mom of four adult children and Oma to three of the most delightful grandchildren ever. Other joys in her life include bringing beauty to Facebook through photos she takes on her iPhone, exploring the state parks in the PNW, facilitating a small group of women, and participating in a Bible study.

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Why We Need a Living Will - Martin Wiles

And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. Hebrews 9:27 KJV

Conversations in a physician’s waiting room can be interesting and run the gamut. They can also let us know why we need a living will.

As my wife and I sat in the waiting room, waiting for her to be called back for her colonoscopy, we listened to the various conversations. One between an older man, his son, and the receptionist. The receptionist called the man’s son to the window to answer some questions his father had omitted when filling out his paperwork.

“Does he have a living will?” she asked.

“Do you have a living will?” the son asked his father.

“Yes, I want to live,” the man responded.

The receptionist and son concluded he didn’t have a living will—and didn’t even know what one was. His anxiety about the procedure was evident, and, as my wife later learned, the doctors didn’t do everything they had intended because of it.

The writer of Hebrews makes a pointed reminder to his readers: everyone will die, and judgment will follow. Sobering thoughts. Not ones I enjoy thinking about, but ones I must entertain.

A living will is important if we don’t want to be kept alive by artificial means, sometimes leaving one on life support and in a vegetative state. From my family’s experience with my father, we discovered that a living will isn’t enough. A DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order is also necessary since doctors can override a living will.

Having a will is also essential if we don’t want the state to take our possessions or distribute them in a way we wouldn’t approve of. Having a simple will drawn up is inexpensive and can even be done through online legal services.

More importantly, is the preparation we make for eternity, not for the comfort of those we leave behind. We will not live forever, and we cannot know the date of our death.

But we can tell whether we’re prepared. Trusting Christ as our Savior and living in obedience to his commands are the only ways to prepare. Doing so re-establishes the relationship that sin broke and fits us for heaven. Like the man in the physician’s office, I want to live—but I also know I’m going to die.

Take care of those you’ll leave behind, but make sure you’re prepared for what’s ahead.

Father, thank you for preparing an eternal existence for me. Prepare me so I’ll be ready to enjoy your presence for all of eternity.  

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Tater Tot Casserole

 

Ingredients
1 BAG FROZEN TATER TOTS

16 OUNCES SOUR CREAM

2 CUPS SHREDDED CHEDDAR CHEESE 

1 CAN CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP

1 SIX-OUNCE CAN FRENCH FRIED ONIONS

Directions
ARRANGE TATER TOTS IN A GREASED BAKING DISH.

IN A BOWL, MIX TOGETHER SOUP, CHEESE, AND SOUR CREAM.

POUR MIXTURE OVER TATER TOTS AND TOP WITH FRENCH FRIED ONIONS.

BAKE AT 350 DEGREES FOR 40 TO 45 MINUTES.
(Photo courtesy of wearychef.com.)

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

What It Means to Be Cleansed from Sin - Martin Wiles

But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:11 NLT

I had reached the magic number; I knew what the doctor would say.

Fifty is the age when physical tests of various sorts begin to occur, one of which I dreaded. Sure enough, the doctor said, “We need to set you up for a colonoscopy.” Since my wife had a family history of colon cancer, she had her first procedure when she was in her thirties. I had seen the contorted expression on her face as she drank the prep fluid. Now it was my turn.

Since we didn’t have health insurance at the time, I put the procedure off for a couple of years. But the date finally came. My doctor believed in thorough cleansing. He wrote the prescription, and I picked up my gallon of lemon-flavored drink. Half the day before the procedure and half the morning of. The procedure was a breeze, but the prep … well … not so much. By the time the doctor did his part, the medicine had done its part. The medicine had cleansed me entirely.

Corinth was a wicked city. The believers who lived there faced numerous temptations, immorality being the greatest. But Paul reminded them of what it means to be cleansed from sin. Christ had made them holy when they received him as their Savior. They didn’t have to succumb to the temptations surrounding them. They had the power to overcome.

This cleansing happens when we accept what Christ did for us on Calvary’s cross. Sanctification also begins. We are set apart from our former way of living. But sanctification is a process. I had finished drinking the fluid within an hour’s time, but it took hours—even an entire day—for my system to be thoroughly cleansed. The same is true for sanctification. We will spend our lifetimes growing into the person we are already in position.

Christians are termed saints, but we aren’t always saintly in our behavior or thoughts. As we involve ourselves in the spiritual disciplines—such as Bible study, prayer, corporate worship, meditation, and small groups—we become who God wants us to be.

Let God cleanse you through salvation. Then, be patient as he works out the effects of your cleansing through your daily life experiences.

Father, thank you for cleansing me through Jesus Christ. Give me the courage to trust you as you work out my sanctification throughout my lifetime. 

I invite you to try my book Hurt, Hope, and Healing in eBook or paperback. If you seek hope and healing because of the hurts you have faced, this book is for you. Click on the title above to order your copy. And thanks to all our faithful followers who share our posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.