Anger: 12 Things You Should Know Part 4 - Martin Wiles

Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool. Ecclesiastes 7:9 NLT

Homework, projects, and tests tested my patience. And his lackadaisical attitude frustrated me.

Unlike my daughter, my son had no affection for school. “Dad, I need help with my homework” meant, “Will you do it for me?” Projects were no different. He wanted me to do most of the work while he got the credit. Helping him study for tests taxed me excessively.

Although perfectly capable of mastering the material, his desire and initiative were absent—keeping the knowledge from seeping in and frustrating me when he couldn’t produce the answers. The thought of helping him with school assignments caused the anger emotion to flare even before we began.

Anger can be a bothersome emotion, causing all types of issues and leading to all manner of reactions. Knowing some facts helps us deal with it in a healthy way.

Fact 10: Anger can and will consume. Being consumed by healthy emotions such as love and kindness is good. The type of anger that consumes is likely against someone who has wronged us. We haven’t taken revenge . . . but we want to. But not wanting to confront them or do anything illegal, we choose to stew over the hurt. We repress and get depressed. Instead of dividing our minds, anger controls them. We have trouble thinking of anything else except the hurt.

Fact 11: Anger saddens God. Sin always disappoints and saddens God. Sin ruined the pristine world He created and the lives of the first two people He formed when they chose to disobey Him. What could have been wasn’t. What will be won’t for thousands of years. Uncontrolled and wrongly expressed anger is sin. Sin prevents God from using us as He wants. With this type of anger, we can’t realize His perfect and freeing plan for our lives.

Fact 12: Anger excites Satan. Any sin will do for Satan—sinful anger included. If he can convince us to justify our sin and live in it, he wins—temporarily. He knows sin will thwart or at least interfere with God's plan. When we regard sin in our hearts, God will not hear us—and we won’t hear Him. Anytime Satan can keep us from advancing God’s kingdom, he gets excited.

How can you process feelings of anger in a healthy way that promotes good?

Father, when Satan seeks to incite my anger, we ask You to replace it with love, kindness, and understanding. 

Tweetable: Is anger controlling you? 

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Chili and Beans

 

Ingredients

1 SMALL BAG DRIED PINTO BEANS

          
1½ POUND GROUND CHUCK

1 TABLESPOON CHILI POWDER

1 LARGE ONION (DICED)

1 CAN ROTEL

1 CAN TOMATO PASTE

½ TEASPOON SALT

½ TEASPOON PEPPER

¼ TEASPOON GARLIC

1 BELL PEPPER (DICED)

 Directions
SOAK BEANS OVERNIGHT IN COLD WATER IN REFRIGERATOR.

WHEN READY TO COOK, COVER THE BEANS WITH WATER AND COOK FOR THREE HOURS OR UNTIL TENDER.

BROWN BEEF AND ADD ONION AND PEPPER.

COOK UNTIL TENDER.

ADD SEASONING AND CHILI POWDER ALONG WITH ROTEL AND TOMATO PASTE.

SIMMER THIRTY MINUTES.

ADD PINTOS AND SIMMER.

Tweetable: Why not add this dish for a cool fall night? 

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Hide and Seek - Karen Huffaker

You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13 CSB

Children love to play Hide and Seek.

They run and giggle as they hide from each other. Big kids compete to find various hidden items on scavenger hunts for hours of entertainment. Their teams search around town with maps and clues, seeking pre-hidden items. The first team to complete following the directions and gathering treasures is declared the winner.

Sometimes, we feel as if God hides from us, and searching for Him is no fun at all. It’s almost always a serious matter. We desperately seek Him for help, guidance, or answers. We wait anxiously for Him to appear, fix our problems, or perform miracles. We want Him to restore impossible situations, provide for our needs, heal someone physically, mentally, or emotionally, or mend broken things and hearts.

While facing many troubles, David asked God not to hide from his pleading. The king was fearful and overwhelmed and sought the Lord to sustain him.

God never hides from us because He is already with us. The search is over. He promises we will find Him when we search for Him with all our hearts.

I find great comfort and peace in God’s promise. Since He is with me, He already knows my burdens and concerns. I can hand them off to the Lord to resolve rather than try alone.

When I place my burdens in God’s capable hands, my trust in Him increases, and I am helped. God’s answers make sense. The way He works out all things for good always amazes me. God’s will is for the best because of His great love for me. I find the rest and peace I long for rather than anxiety. I am declared the winner.

Rather than searching, how can you realize God is already with you?

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Anger: 12 Things You Should Know Part 3 - Martin Wiles

Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. Proverbs 29:11 NLT

He invited him into his office. His betrayer.  

Her confession came in the quietness of their bedroom. “I’ve betrayed you.” “Only once,” she said, but it had been more. Shock was Jerry’s first emotion. How could she? He was a well-known figure in their small town. Now, everyone would know his wife had been unfaithful. The church would call for his resignation, his profession would be scarred, and his family would have to move.

As Jerry pondered the future, another emotion bubbled: anger. What would he tell the kids? How would he break the news to their parents? What would he say to the person she confessed unfaithfulness with? He was a good friend and church member. After a cooling down period, Jerry chose to forgive him. Uncontrolled anger could have steered him in a different direction.

Anger can be a confusing emotion that propels us in different directions—some unhealthy. Knowing some facts helps deal with it healthily.

Fact 7: Anger affects relationships with God and others. Jerry’s relationship with a good friend was destroyed. Though he forgave, he couldn’t continue their friendship. They both moved on, and so did the betrayer.

Anger often leads to sinful actions. When we regard sin in our hearts, it affects our relationship with God. We can't hear Him clearly when we’re boiling over with anger. We’ll miss opportunities He sends our way.

Fact 8: Anger drives others away. I’ve known a few people in my lifetime who were angry continuously. One was a man I worked with after high school. Life had delivered some disappointing blows. Back surgery at an early age left him walking with a cane and unable to lift heavy items. Low paying jobs, financial struggles, and borrowing from one source to pay another were his norm. Although I remained his friend, many others avoided him because of his bitter spirit.

Fact 9: Anger leads to unwise decisions. The most unwise decision Jerry could have made would have been bodily harm to his wife and her conspirator. Had he let anger seethe in his gut, many other unwise decisions would have followed. Understanding God’s forgiveness of our offenses led Jerry to forgive and helped him avoid dangerous decisions.

When situations arise that anger you, ask God for wisdom to process the anger in healthy ways.

Father, enable me to handle my anger in ways that demonstrate Your love and forgiveness. 

Tweetable: How are you processing your anger? 

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Anger: 12 Things You Should Know Part 2 - Martin Wiles

You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. James 1:19-20 NLT

He was living on the street, so they let him move in.

John hadn’t heard from his son in a while. Then, one day, his daughter informed John and his wife that their son was homeless. They made contact and invited him to live with them. But they established conditions since he had been living a rough lifestyle—including drug use.

Not fully trusting their son, John and Jenny didn’t give him a key to their house. One day, while they were at the grocery store, he called, wanting them to hurry home so he could get in. After subsequent calls from their son, John’s blood was raging by the time he arrived home. After a heated argument, he invited their son to leave. John’s anger cooled quickly, but the son’s took months. John wasn’t slow to speak, nor slow to get angry. 

Anger is an often-misunderstood emotion. Knowing some facts helps us deal with it in a healthy way.

Fact 4: Anger divides the mind. During the brief time John’s son lived with them, neither he nor his wife could focus on anything but their situation. They constantly worried about what he might do next. John and Jenny lived in a state of tension.

When anger preoccupies our minds, we can’t focus on spiritual things. Our nearness to God and our ability to hear His Spirit speaking to us diminishes. We can’t think about two things at once, so when anger has us dwelling on one thing, we’ll avoid everything else.

Fact 5: Anger steals focus. This aspect flows from the previous. Anger divides our minds, causing us to dwell on the situation that has angered us. Satan plays in our minds, keeping our thoughts focused on the person or circumstances. If he can keep us focused there, he can keep us from focusing on what God wants us to do.

Fact 6: Anger eats physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Our bodies aren’t compartmentalized. What eats at us emotionally—anger, in this case—will affect our physical well-being if we don’t process it quickly. And when we’re in emotional and physical turmoil, our spiritual lives will suffer. We may blame God, neglect God, or ignore God.

Ask God to help you be slow to speak and slow to get angry.

Father, when people or circumstances aggravate me, direct me to You for comfort and guidance rather than toward an angry spirit. 

Tweetable: How are you handling your anger? 

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Chicken Vegetable Soup

 

 

Ingredients

2 CUPS DICED COOKED CHICKEN

       
1 CUP CHOPPED CARROTS

½ CUP CHOPPED CELERY

1 CUP DICED POTATOES

1½ TABLESPOON RICE

1 CAN CHICKEN BROTH

1 CAN DICED TOMATOES

½ ONION (CHOPPED)

1 PACK TACO SEASONING

SALT/PEPPER

Directions

IN SAUCEPAN COMBINE POTATOES, ONION, CELERY, AND CARROTS.

COVER THEM WITH WATER.

COOK UNTIL TENDER.

COMBINE REMAINING INGREDIENTS.

COOK ON LOW FOR ONE HOUR.

Tweetable: Why not try this fall delight? 

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Pursuing Friendship - Martin Wiles

Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house. Job 29:4 NIV

My friends numbered few.

Dad began preaching when I was just a young fellow. Snippets of him driving an ice cream truck like his father and of him working in a Western Auto store are the only earlier memories I have. And with the preaching came moving. Dad was a restless sort. Twenty years was his longest tenure, and by the time he did that, I had left home long before. When I lived with him and Mom, he moved every two or three years, sometimes after only one year. 

Making friends amidst the transitions proved difficult. So did remembering teachers and schools. Both have blurred into that part of my memory I can no longer access. From kindergarten to eighth grade, I remember only a handful of friends. From high school, another handful. None of which have I kept up with through the years. 

Nor did college differ—and I suppose that is my fault. I recall a few friends from those four years, none of which I’ve contacted since graduation. My resilience against making friends while growing up tainted my adult life. After all, I followed in dear old Dad’s footsteps and moved around a good bit myself. 

Only one almost life-long friend comes to mind. He and I met shortly after graduating high school when we went to work at the same metal fabrication plant. We were the same age and seemed to hit it off immediately. Although the miles have separated us since then—and our career paths have taken us in different directions—we remain in contact. I’ve made many other friends and casual acquaintances during my lifetime, but his friendship I hold the dearest.  

Friendship is touchy business. Job discovered this when hard times hit him and his family. Several of his friends showed up to comfort him—but turned out to be miserable comforters. The only advice they could give was that he should repent of whatever sin he had committed that was causing his misery. They talked too much—and listened too little. He ignored their advice and went on with life. Although they told him God brought his misery, Job didn’t believe it. He chose to relish in his intimate friendship with God.

Fair-weather friends are usually a dime a dozen, but true friends encourage more than they rebuke, listen more than they talk, are heavy on presence and light on advice, and don’t pretend to understand all the emotions we face during troubling times. They hang around in the good and bad times. 

But the most comforting friend is God. No other person can do for us what He can. He is the friend extraordinaire. Always there. Always ready to listen. Never too busy. 

Father, thank You for being a friend who sticks closer than a brother or a sister. 

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Anger: 12 Things You Should Know Part 1 - Martin Wiles

And don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Ephesians 5:26 NLT

Funny how quickly a pleasant morning can reverse itself.

Mom had rented a booth at the local flea market. We arrived early and began unloading our wares. The gentleman renting the space beside us was doing the same—only he placed some items on one of our tables. Since I hadn’t made my way back to where I needed to be with God, I informed the man of his mistake, using a few choice words. Silence followed my tirade. Either he didn’t hear me or chose to ignore this young whipper snapper. But Mom called me to the side and said, “You can’t talk to him like that. He’s a member of our church.”

Of all the emotions, anger is perhaps the most misunderstood. Knowing some facts about it can help.

Fact 1: Anger isn’t a sin.

Another translation of this same verse reads, Be angry and sin not. Anger is one of the natural emotions God created in the human makeup. When people wrong us or offend our families or friends—or when circumstances seem unfair—it’s natural for us to get angry.

Jesus was angered by the money changers who cheated the people coming to worship God. He was also angered by the religious elite, who misinterpreted the intent of God’s Word and placed the people under cumbersome rules.

Fact 2: Anger often leads to sinful acts.

Although anger is a natural emotion, it’s also volatile. Anger in and of itself isn’t a sin, but anger often leads to sinful actions. Mine did at the flea market. How we process anger is crucial. Righteous anger leads us to correct injustices through moral and godly avenues. It moves us to act, but the actions won’t be sinful.

Fact 3: No one can make us angry.

I’m guilty of saying, “He (or she) makes me angry,” or “That makes me so mad.” In reality, I choose to get angry. If someone can make me angry, they have power over me. And if that’s the case, I can blame them for my anger and the resulting actions and then justify them in my mind. But we can’t. Anger is our choice.

How can you process your anger in beneficial ways?

Father, when others or unpleasant circumstances anger me, show me how to process my actions in godly ways. 

Tweetable: Is anger controlling you? 

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God of the Unexpected - Martin Wiles

O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you. Psalm 63:1 NLT

He bounded into camp and revolutionized our moods.

We were doing what we once enjoyed but hadn’t accomplished lately. My daughter and I left our car in a secluded parking lot, shouldered our backpacks, and hiked inland on the Foothills Trail to Pigpen Falls. Knowing our intended campsite’s popularity, we planned to get there early. After setting up camp, we sat around for a bit before walking a couple of miles down the Chattooga River Trail.

Our attempt to lift our somber mood wasn’t working too well until a black lab suddenly bounced into our camp with a hemlock cone dangling from his mouth. He dropped it at my daughter’s feet and stood back, tail wagging. She got the message and tossed it away. He retrieved. What he really wanted was for her to throw it into the water. As we walked down the Chattooga, he followed. She continued to throw, and he continued to retrieve.

At our turnaround point, we spotted a trout fisherman. So did the dog. Leaving us as quickly as he had come, he took up with the fisherman. Later, the owners passed our camp, and we pointed them to the dog that had altered the atmosphere of our lives.

Like the psalmist, my daughter and I were searching. We had found God in the past, but we needed Him to show up in the present. Several years prior, I had watched my family disintegrate before my eyes. I still battled depression, disappointment, and confusion. My daughter also suffered. She had lost a mother and was presently adjusting to college life.

While I don’t believe we find God in all things, I do think He shows up in shapes and forms we don’t always recognize. He refuses to be confined in a box. Though God wasn’t in the dog—or even transformed into one—He used the dog's presence to bring momentary happiness and relief to two hurting people. God’s usual mode of operation entails showing His love for His creations and His concern for the hurts or tough decisions they’re up against.

Learn to find God’s presence in the out-of-ordinary things. He has a habit of showing up when we least expect it and in forms we might not imagine.

How have you experienced God in unexpected ways?

Father, thank You for noticing me and coming to me in ways I never presumed. 

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Chicken Stew

 

 

Ingredients

6 BONELESS CHICKEN BREAST

     

2 CANS OF TOMATOES

2 CANS CREAM CORN

2 ONIONS

4 POUNDS POTATOES (COOKED UNTIL TENDER)

1 POUND BUTTER

1 ½ GALLONS MILK

SALT/PEPPER

Directions

BOIL CHICKEN UNTIL DONE. GRIND CHICKEN.

IN A POT BOIL TOMATOES, POTATOES, CORN, AND ONIONS.

MASH POTATOES AND TOMATOES UNTIL VERY FINE.

ADD ALL OTHER INGREDIENTS TOGETHER.

BRING TO A SLOW BOIL, STIRRING CONSTANTLY.

SIMMER FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES.

Tweetable: Why not add this stew as your main dish? 

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Don’t Fear the Reaper - Martin Wiles

How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble! Job 14:1 NLT

They all died . . . one by one, but they didn’t fear the reaper. 

The first funeral I have vivid memories of was my mother’s dad. I had just turned fifteen, received my driver’s license, and wanted to drive in his funeral procession. Numerous strokes preceded his death, each one taking more from him but giving more to my grandmother—who became his primary caregiver. He lost his ability to walk alone, talk clearly, and eat alone—all those things he had once enjoyed. 

Several years later, I watched as both of my great-grandmothers died, one’s death in close proximity to the other. One of my great-grandmothers I wasn’t as close to. I don’t remember how she died. But the other, I saw regularly. She fell, broke her wrist, contracted pneumonia, and died shortly thereafter. 

Then came the death of my mom’s mom. She had developed Alzheimer’s ten years before her death. By the time she died, she only knew a handful of people—I wasn’t among them. 

The deaths that upended my world at the time were my dad’s parents. They had been like parents to me . . . had almost raised me. Although one outlived the other by a few years, I watched them both languish in a nursing home for a short period and then just die. We didn’t know anything particularly wrong with them besides old age. I got a chance to say goodbye before they took their final breaths. 

But the death that rocked my world—and caused me to consider my own demise—was my father’s. My wife, mother, and I watched him undergo heart surgery and then contract Mercer. After almost thirty days in the hospital, we let him go. The doctors offered us no hope. 

Most theologians consider Job the oldest book in the Bible. Even then, Job knew life was short and often filled with trouble. Although he didn’t have the fuller knowledge of the afterlife that God revealed as time progressed, he did believe death wasn’t the end. Trouble filled his life—courtesy of Satan’s attacks—but Job still placed his trust in God. 

Death knows no boundaries and holds to no age categories. It comes to the young, the old, and every age in between. It takes the poor, the rich, and the average. Money can’t stop it, nor can all the exercise in the world prevent it. Sometimes, we know it’s coming, but often, death sneaks up on us unaware. 

With the separation death brings, comes grief. Grief over the loss . . . the absence . . . the emptiness. But Job had a hope we can hold even more dearly. Something exists on the other side. Death is not the end. God has an eternity for those who follow Him—an eternity that will far surpass anything we hold dear on earth. 

Don’t fear the Grim Reaper. Christ has conquered death, and through Him, you can too.

How can you overcome the fear of death?

Father, I thank You for preparing something for me on the other side of this life. 

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Security In . . .

So the total number of Israelite men counted in the census numbered 601,730. Numbers 26:51 NLT

Numbers don’t always provide security; sometimes it’s found in other things.

Our third grandson was what I classified as “high maintenance.” The first we could feed, rock to sleep, and place on the bed. He would stay there for hours. He was content to lie on the floor and entertain himself when awake. While the third loved to be fed and rocked to sleep also, lying on the bed by himself didn’t work. Occasionally, he would sleep for several hours, but it wasn’t the norm. Playing on a blanket on the floor didn’t interest him either.

My wife’s cure was, “I’m fixin' to swaddle him.” Then, she would place one of his blankets on the floor, nestle him in it, and tightly wrap his arms and legs. Once asleep, he would snooze for hours. Security.

Numbers is aptly named. In this particular instance, it’s about the number of men of military age. When the leaders finished the second census, they gave the number to Moses and Eleazar, who must have found great comfort in the results. More than 600,000 men would provide security as the people entered the Promised Land and faced their enemies.

While we often find security in numbers, it’s not sure. Security is one of our basic needs, so it’s essential to find it somewhere. Wrapping ourselves in a blanket or joining the military won’t necessarily provide it.

Merely telling others we find security in our relationship with Christ is somewhat shallow. It goes deeper than a flippant statement. Details are needed. What’s involved in the relationship is crucial for us to understand and others to hear.

Within the relationship is the knowledge God has accepted us into His family and that nothing can separate us from His love. He not only numbers us among his family but also among his friends. What He holds securely, no one can snatch. God actually enjoys hanging around with me.

Knowing God orchestrates the details of our lives and maneuvers them to form us into His Son’s image is also comforting.  Believing this helps me view life’s events—pleasant or not—through a different lens. Nothing happens randomly or by chance. Nor is it controlled by fate.

A relationship with God is the source of ultimate security. In what are you finding security?

Father, I praise You for the security I can find in my walk with You.  

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