Tuesday, June 19, 2012

5 Male Insecurities by Martin Wiles

My middle brother’s was a Pekinese looking stuffed dog, and he carried it everywhere.

Security blankets are common for children but may not be literal. They may be stuffed animals, pacifiers or any number of odd things, but they provide security and help calm the separation anxiety felt when a parent isn’t nearby.

Normally our security blankets-and the insecurities they represent, are discarded as we get older. But other insecurities can develop in adulthood, and a few of them are challenging for men. Connected to the husband’s capability of loving his wife is loving himself. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28). Insecurities hinder the process. 

Hardwired into men is a sense of manhood often represented by the ability to reproduce. When this is lost because of age, an accident, or by surgical choice, feelings of insecurity often follow. Loving wives reassure husbands their love isn’t based on this ability.

Inability to support their family can lead to insecurity. In many cultures, men are viewed as breadwinners. When health or loss of employment makes this impossible, it can affect how men feel about themselves.

Body issues can make men insecure. I hated my body growing up and am still not overly fond of it. Fortunately my wife adores it, tells me so, and in the process drives away my insecurity about it.

The fear of not finding a woman to love him is another male insecurity. God created us for relationships. Adam needed an Eve and men still need women.

Not pleasing their mothers is often a veiled male insecurity. Special bonds develop between mother and son. Sons need to know they please their mothers, and wives need to understand this necessity.

Insecurities represent fears, and only a perfect love relationship with Christ drives them out.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, soothe our insecurities with the balm of Your love.
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  1. Thank you for this.... A lot of times I get so wrapped up in life, kids, etc that I fail to realize that my husband has insecurities just as I do. He just doesn't vocalize them.

  2. I'm encouraged to find a man who blogs! Thank you for the insight into a man's heart! I appreciate knowing how to better encourage and affirm my husband!

    Mary Beth

  3. Yes, this is good for us wives to read and consider. It's easy to assume the men in your life have no insecurities if they feel they must keep up a "manly" front. Yet I see how any of these examples could affect a man deeply. Though my insecurities are rather different, yes, the answer to them all lies in that relationship with Christ. Thanks for sharing this.