Wednesday, June 20, 2012

5 Things Wives Do That Damage Their Husband’s Spiritual Leadership by Martin Wiles

Series: 5 Things A Man...
“The buck stops here-”a saying that derives from “pass the buck,” which means transferring responsibility to someone else.

Before I’m labeled a male chauvinist, let me applaud women and their contributions, but when fathers are present in families God designs that the buck stops with them. Unfortunately, it’s frequently passed.

Paul has been labeled because of this one verse. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). Misunderstanding his intent and ignoring God’s design for families can result in a wife unknowingly damaging her husband’s spiritual leadership position.

Wives who make all the decisions steal the husband’s leadership. Running a close second is failing to discuss decisions. Men are infamous for passing the buck, so wives often become the sole decision makers because husbands are unengaged. Wives with disconnected husbands need to encourage their connection. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship or solo ship.

Usurping family devotions can hinder a husband’s spiritual leadership. Men are notorious for jumping ship here too, and women often take the role by default. Husbands need encouragement to take their God assigned lead in the family’s spiritual development.

When women speak badly about their husbands to others or downgrade them in front of the children, this too steals their ability to lead. “Male egos” are often more fragile than men will admit and need frequent stroking. 

Failure to submit to God’s designated position for the husband also steals his leadership capability. Wives aren’t slaves without rights or doormats for walking on. Husbands and wives are equal partners, but God designates ultimate responsibility to the man when present. Submitting isn’t an issue when men love their wives as much as Christ did the church.

As a wife, how can you encourage your husband to step up to the plate? As a husband, how can you make your wife feel like an equal partner?

Prayer: Merciful Lord, remind us our families are stronger when we work together with You as the head.
Visit the Blessed and Be Blessed Blog Hop


  1. Thank you so much for sharing this post. It's a wonderful reminder that I think we all need from time to time. It can seem so easy to just grab the reigns and make sure it "gets done right" but this kind of modern day attitude really does diminish the role of husbands and fathers and rob them of their God-given authority over the household. Great post!

  2. Wow - this is an eye-opening post. Thank you for sharing. Those of us who still have young marriages need to read this!!!! Hopping over from B&BB. -A Little R & R

  3. Glad I read this! I think this will help me love and respect my husband more!

    Carly @

  4. Martin, I think you're doing a great job with these 5 Things.Keep it up!

  5. Martin, I think your post is especially powerful because it's from a male perspective. After all, like our own personal testimony, how can a person argue with that? Wise words, friend.