Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23 NLT
I bounced all three and watched them disappear.
Gumball machines and bouncy ball machines. Just about every store had them, and almost every child wanted something from them. The highlight of any trip to a store was asking my parents or grandparents for a coin so I could get a bouncy ball or a piece of chewing gum.
On one trip, my grandmother gave me enough money to purchase three bouncy balls. I planned to bounce all three at once and see if I could catch them. Standing in the hallway of my grandmother’s old house, I aimed all three at the floor. When they came back down to earth, they scattered in all direction, never to be seen again. My grandmother and I searched the house for weeks. We looked under beds, in closets, in drawers. Anywhere a stray ball might attempt to hide. But our search was fruitless.
The psalmist appealed to a better searcher than I was: God. Although God knew where my balls were, I didn’t figure He cared, so I never prayed and asked Him to show me. I imagined He was concerned with more important things—things such as the psalmist talks about. Things like searching my heart. Or searching for the cause of my spiritual anxiety.
God is the master searcher. The hound of heaven. And I’m glad He is. Had He not searched my heart and searched for me, I would never have known I was a sinner who needed His saving grace. His conviction—searching, clued me in so I could confess and repent.
God also searches for other reasons. Without His searching, I might never know what is causing my anger, frustration, depression, and disappointment. Perhaps it’s a sin issue. God’s Word searches my heart as I read it. Perhaps my anger is erupting from an unforgiving spirit. God’s Spirit can reveal that to me. If my spiritual life is off track, God can search my heart and show me. When the events of life have made me anxious, God searches and comforts. There is absolutely nothing beyond the searchlight of God’s Spirit. Though my search was fruitless, His never is.
Don’t live with denial, anger, uncertainty, or anxiety. Let God search your heart and reveal how healing can take place. He will give you wisdom for every decision.
Prayer: Father, search our hearts and reveal any issues we need to let You heal.