Years after the fact, realization of my abject failure as a mother slammed me like a charging elephant. My children’s father had abused them, and I--their mother--had failed to adequately protect them. Because of my sinful deficiency, my sons suffered immeasurable mental, spiritual, and physical pain I could not undo. They were adults now; their scars, indelible.
Disconsolate, I lived in unrelenting sorrow and self-loathing. How could I have left my little ones so vulnerable? How?
I stared into a mirror. “You should die,” I said to myself. “You should die for that.”
Instantly, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. “Someone has already died for that,” He said. “You should live.”
“Someone has already died for that,” I repeated. “I should live. Jesus has already died for that. I should live.”
Yes, Jesus had already died for all my sins, even that one. I could never make atonement, but He already had. I live now--forgiven, accepted, and loved. I live, healed by His wounds. I live, trusting the Savior, who was Himself abused, to bring wholeness to my sons. God’s mercy triumphs.
No matter what you have done or failed to do, no matter how heinous your sin, there is no need for you to die for it. Someone has already done that. Jesus died so the mess can be redeemed.
God wants us to live!
Prayer: Father of mercy, thank You for being more willing to forgive us than we are to forgive ourselves. In the name of Jesus, who personally carried away our sins, and who personally heals the wounds that sin begets, Amen.
(Previously published by The Upper Room.)
Debbie Ginder is a writer who resides in Virginia with her husband Carl.