“I don’t love you anymore.” Words spoken harshly followed by a slammed door. Or softly with a tinge of remorse and a gentle walking away. Perhaps relayed on a handwritten note stained with a damp spot from a tear of regret.
Regardless of how the message arrives, the sting of hearing love has dissipated is tragic. It can come after a few months of puppy love, a year of dating your first love, or even after 38 years of marriage.
Love is often cast as nothing more than an emotion. If this is true, Paul’s instruction for older women to train younger women to love their husbands is odd. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children (Titus 2:4 NLT).
Doubtlessly, love does involve emotion. Who can’t remember the rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, and butterfly laden stomachs when we first “fell” in love. I suppose I, like many others, failed to realize I chose to love this person. It wasn’t forced upon me, nor was I an unwilling pawn in fate’s hands.
Love is an attitude…a choice. And while feelings are obviously involved, love is more about thinking which in turn leads to behaving. Many marriages have been preserved because a betrayed or abused spouse willingly gave a repentant spouse a second chance and chose to love them even when “feelings” weren’t present. What they discovered was that acting in love eventually made feelings return.
And that’s why older women could train younger women to love their husbands and why Paul could command wives to love their husbands and vice versa (Ephesians 5:25).
If you’re tempted to walk away because you don’t feel love anymore, why not stick around instead and train yourself to show love?
Prayer: Eternal God, as You choose to love us even when we’re unlovable, so teach us to love others the same.
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